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Other story in respect to mr Webb

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old slave said:
What a site CF is that a question like this can be posed? The Palm Sunday dilemma.
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In such situations our expectations change considerably. A towel to piss in discretely becomes a fabulous gift, rather than a matter of shame.

grab her small but neat left buttock and pushed back forward to put back the thermometer. She tried to see what she felt already back inside, and begged for dug it to her vulva instead of, it had been so hard to stand like that. Guard apologized and told that he could not decide without the medic, and pushed slowly upward the tool. I could not stand to watch it anymore.

rectal-thermometer.jpg

The poor girl will have to arch away from the cross again, or drive the thermometer further inside.

he took out a handkerchief, cleaned the thermometer, and approached her from the front. With left hand stroked a little the labias to open and moisture them, which made the girl burning blushed. After she got the stick behind her bush. The guard pushed it more inside as before to ensure it would remain there, not slip out accidentally. He told to the girl that he would come back soon and walked away.

hotazzchef-utjb7-b7d367.jpg

That's better, isn't it? Now, remember, don't push it out. And be ready to endure the ribald jokes about your hot pussy!

It reminds me of that old cornu question, "cunt or asshole?" that we've had here before, but shameful rather than excruciating.

Miss, you are offending public policy. Can I ask you to put up your clothes? It is a city square, not a beach.- I heard from back. It was a regular patrol, with severe face.

Great finish, a nice touch at the end, to be told off for public nudity right after her release.
 
lember said:
It was easy, this happens everywhere. Public nudity is scandal, but even orange juice is sold using tits. Almost naked women everywhere in media. On youtube you can see death, but not nipples
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From George Carlins 1972 "Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV":
"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits," wow!
And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, y'know? Man!
That's such a friendly sounding word.
It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey! Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots."
It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. But I don't mean your sexist snack! I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits,
Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One!"
 
Frank Petrexa said:
From George Carlins 1972 "Seven Words You Can Never Say on TV":
"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits," wow!
And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, y'know? Man!
That's such a friendly sounding word.
It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey! Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots."
It sounds like a snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. But I don't mean your sexist snack! I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits,
Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just One!"
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This was classic humor by Carlin. My buddy had the album and we'd laugh our asses off listening to him.
 
Thank You all for feedback and I hope you appreciate me with more ones

-which scenes, images moved you?
-is there any own scene or image in frame of this situation come up in you during reading?
-which character of Welsh you think of in different situations?
-could you imagine any other illustration?
-absence of harsh violence made worse or better the story, and why?
-other stories in this or similar world in your mind?

I keep shaping the story toward perfection, in my archive it is changed and grown already cc 30%
 
lember. A welcome to the site from another newbie, although in your case an extremely talented one. You have crafted an exceptional story of complex personal emotions evoked in enduring such an ordeal of stress. As you have shared your absorbing work and asked for comments, can only in return offer several thoughts for consideration.

Enjoy reading stories in English from authors for whom it is not their native language as most often the natural syntax/flow of their own speech adds to the depth of the work. This is true of your story, however there are a number places that believe the wording hides some of your meaning. Perhaps with so much talent on this site, someone would assist with word clarity where appropriate?

As the story is written, there appears to be little if any sexual/erotic feelings evoked by our heroine’s ordeal. That is an area of her emotions on the cross that would be a very interesting and welcome sm enhancement am sure to readers on this site.

Within such an erotic line, possibly extend the story as she enjoys her promised indulgent dinner during which she could reflect on her experience — and realize an awaking of such sm/sexual feelings?

As for the lack of violence, for this reader it only adds to the sense of an authoritarian realism within a population as she accepts her punishment without even thoughts of not.

Merely several avenues of pondering. Many thanks and bravos for sharing your great story.
 
lember said:
Thank You all for feedback and I hope you appreciate me with more ones

-which scenes, images moved you?
-is there any own scene or image in frame of this situation come up in you during reading?
-which character of Welsh you think of in different situations?
-could you imagine any other illustration?
-absence of harsh violence made worse or better the story, and why?
-other stories in this or similar world in your mind?

I keep shaping the story toward perfection, in my archive it is changed and grown already cc 30%
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Iember, I've already listed some of the ways I liked it :) It would be interesting to illustrate some of the scenes, I'll give it some thought. I liked the matter of factness of it, the lack of violence was replaced by a relentless and uncaring heaping up of humiliations, beautifully described.

I like it as it is, but I know what you mean, there are often other options that come to mind, other possibly ways the story might go. I would be interested to see what else you might do with it.

Horseman68 said:
Enjoy reading stories in English from authors for whom it is not their native language as most often the natural syntax/flow of their own speech adds to the depth of the work. This is true of your story, however there are a number places that believe the wording hides some of your meaning. Perhaps with so much talent on this site, someone would assist with word clarity where appropriate?
Click to expand...

I too like the poetic ways non native speakers can use to express themselves, but it is true that in a couple of places this story could benefit from a little bit of reading/editing by someone before posting.

Horseman68 said:
As the story is written, there appears to be little if any sexual/erotic feelings evoked by our heroine’s ordeal. That is an area of her emotions on the cross that would be a very interesting and welcome sm enhancement am sure to readers on this site.
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I'm in two minds about this. I think the story is already quite erotic without the protagonist having her own erotic thoughts/reactions. That would be a different story to be told, probably one worth telling but not at the expense of losing the one we already have!

Horseman68 said:
As for the lack of violence, for this reader it only adds to the sense of an authoritarian realism within a population as she accepts her punishment without even thoughts of not.
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Yes, the grinding impersonal process of officialdom which humiliates, degrades and inflicts extreme discomfort without the need for explicit violence. It makes a great contrast to so many stories that we get here.
 
Horseman68 said:
As the story is written, there appears to be little if any sexual/erotic feelings evoked by our heroine’s ordeal. That is an area of her emotions on the cross that would be a very interesting and welcome sm enhancement am sure to readers on this site.
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She tried after the two youngsters left, involving imaginations about her boyfriend, it just did not work. I think humiliation is not arousal out of roleplay, so it would broke the reality of story, but maybe there are ways that somebody could share how to do it
 
phlebas said:
I too like the poetic ways non native speakers can use to express themselves, but it is true that in a couple of places this story could benefit from a little bit of reading/editing by someone before posting.
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Yes, since I use English on daily professional field, I was struggling with narrative past and referring forms, like my fixed girl with her cross she was tied to. So I really want to know which parts did not go through. Advises also can come, but I think I would detail more these parts, not just change grammatically.

It may be better in PM, not to fill the thread with boring technical details, except if it should be discussed together or you want me to share new versions publicly
 
Horseman68 said:
Within such an erotic line, possibly extend the story as she enjoys her promised indulgent dinner during which she could reflect on her experience — and realize an awaking of such sm/sexual feelings?
Click to expand...

I was thinking of some epilogue, but emphasizing more on freedom than erotic thoughts. If you go through any ordeal, even if not voluntarily, you can either crash of benefit of it. I think my girl would be more independent of opinion of others after her crucifixion. I planned that she would change contact with businesswoman, later other condemneds. She will not be scared anymore to make something independent business, out of the city, far from these hypocrite "conservatives" who fulfill their lusts hiding them behind traditions. Victims would keep contact each other, and not to talk about crosses, but because they are different from others due to their experiences.

But it would break the frame of this forum, so all that remained in the story is the resting in underwear after releasment and leave on bare foot back to her life
 
lember. All true and good. Your story is absorbing and poignant as it stands, and am sure will remain so whatever altering you may decide upon. As for comments you may receive from the peanut gallery, know that poignant stories do capture our imaginations to other avenues for what they may be worth. Also, agree that there are great differences between role play and real life experiences — even for those whose role play essentially is their life.
 
I almost missed to recognize on the pic the square I have chosen for the story, in spite of It was a result of exhaustive geographic investigation for the most expressive location
 
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