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State Of Emergency Book Two - The Camp

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Bobby lay on her side with her knees to her chin, hugging herself. She was trembling, cold, hungry and feeling worse than she’d ever believed possible. Her muscles still twitched, her head throbbed and she was consumed by despair. Sometimes she slept, sometimes she woke, but her dreams were so vivid and her brain so fogged that the distinction between the two states was unclear. Her buttocks hurt, but that was just a minor part of her hell. She knew nothing. How could she persuade them of that?

She heard footsteps and flinched. It could only be more bad news, more pain. The bolts were shot back and she heard a key turn in the lock. She backed away from the door. Four of them came in, pulled her to her feet and cuffed and blindfolded her. A hand slid over her arse, and prodded between her legs. “Nympho,” said a voice in her ear and she whimpered in terror.

They dragged her along the corridor, fondling her, taunting her. “Level three shocks today,” one said.

“You’ll fry,” another said, jabbing her nipples.

“They’ll thrash you. I heard them. Cane you till there’s no skin left on your ass then make you sit in chilli oil.”

“They hate you. They’re going to make it especially bad. Even when you’ve confessed they’re going to whip you. Then we get to play with you.”

A door opened and she was pushed through it. It was the box, she knew. She heard it open and then she was picked up and dropped in. For a moment when the lid closed it was deliciously peaceful, but then the drills started and the temperature began to rise and she began to cry again.

How long was she in there? Bobby had no idea. She hurt. She felt nauseous. She sweated. She shivered. Six times they gave her water. She wanted sleep but she wanted to be more awake. She wanted to be able to think to find a solution, she wanted to die.

She was dragged out. They slapped her on her bruised buttocks and dragged her into another room. They gave her a shove and she heard a metallic clang. She stood, uneasily, naked, not knowing what was going on. She heard the cell door close. And then powerful jets of water struck her from above. She collapsed but there was no escape. Cold water hammered her tender body. She tried to curl up but there was no respite.

And then it was over. The floor was wet and cold and tiled. She lay, too weak to move, still blindfold, still chained, shaking and sobbing. She couldn’t take any more. No more. She shouted, but there was silence. Slowly, using all her strength, she pushed herself up onto her knees. She had to pause to recover her energy. Then she stood, unsteadily. She reached in front of her with her right foot. Nothing but more cold tiles. She took a step forward. Then another. And another. Then her toe hit something solid. There was a thick metal grille. She was in a cage in a cell in a torture unit in a prison camp in the middle of nowhere and she was naked and blindfolded and in chains. She sank again to her knees. She pressed her forehead against the mesh and wept.
*

Uppal pushed his thumbs into the cold flesh of her shoulders. Stafford sat, naked and dripping, skin pink and goose-pimpled, in the interrogation room. She looked exhausted, dark rings under her eyes, body limp. He’d given her eight hours in the box and four in the cage, being hosed down for five minutes every half hour. She was so weak now she’d hardly been able to walk unaided. Her neck was smoothly delicate and he stroked it. She barely reacted. He smoothed her wet hair back from her forehead.

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” he asked.

“You’re doing it to me,” she said flatly, so he slapped the right side of her head. She barely reacted.

He moved in front of her, placed his hand on her cheek, noting the gentle freckles along the line of the bone. He looked into her deep brown eyes. “Just tell me the truth and this will be over,” he said. “If you co-operate, I can get your sentence reduced. If you don’t, you stay here for ever and we give you electric shocks for ever.”

He lifted her chin so she looked up at him. “Why were you based in the hills?” he asked.

“It’s where the school is.”

“Were you in contact with the rebels?”

“No.”

“Why that school?”

“It’s where my parents sent me. It’s an international school. It made sense for them when they were travelling for work.”

“When did MI5 recruit you?”

“They didn’t.” She sounded exhausted, despairing.

“Tell me about the school. Who there might have been working with the rebels?”

She shook her head slowly. “I don’t know.”

He walked behind her again, traced a finger up her vertebrae. “Why would six people name you if you are not involved with the rebels?”

“Tortured? Asked to implicate me? Because Father Johal gave my name to police?”

It made an annoying amount of sense. He seized her by the hair and lifted her, shaking her violently and then throwing her to the floor. She was too tired even to get her arms out properly in front of her and skidded painfully on the concrete. “Hang her,” he said, and returned to his desk.
 
I hope this interogation will go quickly to some conclusion cause it starts being boring.:(
Sadly, I must agree with The Beast. Sadly, because I used to like KD's stories and began writing my own partly because of them. So if you don't like my stories, blame KD!

I liked SoE Part I very much, because there was an actual story that left you wondering what would happen next and even had a few surprises. But, Part II has been running for a year and a half now and it's just the same thing on and on and on. Now, I know every story here doesn't have to have plot twists every chapter, but come on KD. The promise of Part II was that the four women from Part I would be together in the camp. But they've barely spent more than a few paragraphs together. Where are the interactions? You've got four hot Western women in a third world prison camp and they don't even hang out together, let alone have lesbian sex. That strains credulity and the conventions of erotic storytelling. No hare-brained escape attempts where maybe one gets away, one gets killed and the other two get caught and get extra punishment? Why not?

And where are these supposed rebels? They don't try to attack and free their prisoners? What a bunch of useless wimps!

Come on KD, you're a good writer or I wouldn't waste my time complaining about the lack of a story. Could we have at least a pretense of a plot here? Some sense that this is a story and not just a manual of interrogation methods?
 
OMG! So great to have you writing again. Love your work
 
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KD don't end this story before great final. Maybe our critic is painfull but constructive, I suppose. Don't give up.
 
King, thank you again for the wonderful extensive writing.
While I enjoyed Book II, I partially agree with the critics. IMHO, SOE I, the student was the best part. The long, carefully timed destruction of the innocent, frail girl was magical. The other three parts were almost as good. I looked forward to Book II eagerly. But it was somewhat disappointing. The heart of the problem is the excessive scope of the story: four victims, a dozen other characters, switching between stories, the search for information we knew wasn't there, all kept the reader from enjoying the core he is interested in, the torture of helpless women and girls.
As you moved from victim to victim, I had trouble remembering their last ordeal and becoming engages in the current one. For me, multiple victim stories have always had this significant shortcoming. What I appreciate is long, cruel treatment of one girl whose character and suffering I can follow and even empathize with. The greatest two stories I have ever read IMHO, are the Scapegoat and the Student for these reasons.

Please don't be discouraged by criticism, whether constructive or petty. You are the best writer in this genre and I await, erotically, your next contribution
 
King, how is book 3 coming along? I’m ripping my hair out in anticipation. I can’t wait to find out what dreadful torment the girls will endure after their capture.
 
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