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Juan1234
Guest
Great image - thanks!
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morten sigurdson
Voivode of Wallachia
morten sigurdson
Voivode of Wallachia
Great story Juan, classic Roman (that I like most of all) and well written, good job, waiting for following 
Juan, this is one of the most splendidly wriiten stories I've read - and I've read a few! I'm absolutely captivated. Well done, my friend!
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Juan1234
Guest
Wow. I always hate it when people say they’re “humbled” when others praise them. But I think that’s the best I can come up with!
I’m humbled, Wragg! There’s no telling when something you write will hit a nerve with your audience, I guess...
J
Juan1234
Guest
Thanks everybody - your feedback is really motivating. And it’s going straight to my head, I’ll have you know.
J
Juan1234
Guest
"Talbus..." Phillip was hoarse and didn't turn his head, seemingly frozen in eternal agony, balancing his buttocks on his shallow sedile, but Talbus' ear was trained to hear the pleas of the dying. "Some water?"
Talbus was glad to have something to put his hand to; his thoughts were more than he wanted to deal with. "Of course old boy," and he raised a sponge to the man's sun-parched lips and listened as the raspy throat swallowed. Water also ran off his chin and down his sun-baked chest. "More?" Talbus offered. Phillip stared at nothing for a moment, as if he'd lost consciousness, then slurred his response with great effort: "A little more?" Again Talbus watched him suck on the sponge like a baby at his mother's breast.
"Almost over, Phillip," he patted the man's knee amicably. "Tonight will be cool, I think. You'll probably go before morning." Phillip just nodded. "You know, if you want to be sure of it, you could try coming off the sedile. But that's up to you, of course." Phillip nodded again.
Having finished with Phillip, and having no other immediate duties, Talbus wandered toward young Julia, who sat against the upright stake that would be hers, hugging her knees to her chest. Seeing Talbus approaching her, the other soldiers asked him to guard her while they went into the city to find out what was going on with the new beam.
Talbus picked up her discarded shift and held it out to her as he approached. He greeted her with an avuncular "hello..." but she only looked up at him with a weary, resigned terror in her blue eyes. Anna's eyes had been green, he remembered. "You can wear this until they get back," he offered, and she seemed to understand he wasn't there to torment her, though her face remained hardened - more hardened than seemed natural for so delicate a creature. She stood, took the torn garment, and tied it about her hips as best she could. Several attempts yielded no way for her to fasten it about her upper body, so she just hugged its tatters to herself.
"Your father became a sort of friend to me," Talbus continued, and she looked up at him, more interested than before. "I think it's brave that you tried to avenge him." Then, as she looked away, to his surprise, a single tear rolled down her hardened face, and he felt the need to swallow hard himself.
"He was a good man," she said quietly, staring away, wiping away the tear and shedding no more.
(To be continued...)
Talbus was glad to have something to put his hand to; his thoughts were more than he wanted to deal with. "Of course old boy," and he raised a sponge to the man's sun-parched lips and listened as the raspy throat swallowed. Water also ran off his chin and down his sun-baked chest. "More?" Talbus offered. Phillip stared at nothing for a moment, as if he'd lost consciousness, then slurred his response with great effort: "A little more?" Again Talbus watched him suck on the sponge like a baby at his mother's breast.
"Almost over, Phillip," he patted the man's knee amicably. "Tonight will be cool, I think. You'll probably go before morning." Phillip just nodded. "You know, if you want to be sure of it, you could try coming off the sedile. But that's up to you, of course." Phillip nodded again.
Having finished with Phillip, and having no other immediate duties, Talbus wandered toward young Julia, who sat against the upright stake that would be hers, hugging her knees to her chest. Seeing Talbus approaching her, the other soldiers asked him to guard her while they went into the city to find out what was going on with the new beam.
Talbus picked up her discarded shift and held it out to her as he approached. He greeted her with an avuncular "hello..." but she only looked up at him with a weary, resigned terror in her blue eyes. Anna's eyes had been green, he remembered. "You can wear this until they get back," he offered, and she seemed to understand he wasn't there to torment her, though her face remained hardened - more hardened than seemed natural for so delicate a creature. She stood, took the torn garment, and tied it about her hips as best she could. Several attempts yielded no way for her to fasten it about her upper body, so she just hugged its tatters to herself.
"Your father became a sort of friend to me," Talbus continued, and she looked up at him, more interested than before. "I think it's brave that you tried to avenge him." Then, as she looked away, to his surprise, a single tear rolled down her hardened face, and he felt the need to swallow hard himself.
"He was a good man," she said quietly, staring away, wiping away the tear and shedding no more.
(To be continued...)
Last edited by a moderator:
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Juan1234
Guest
That’s great, Wragg!! Thanks!!
bobinder
ARTISAN
_CADRE_
Magistrate
Her humiliation and anticipation factor is enjoyable
And a lot more naked.
Juan, a popular crux theme, by which I mean "my personal favorite," involves an innocent in the power of the wicked, literally naked before her enemies. When it first came out "An Execution in Arelate"
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/attachments/an-execution-in-arelate-doc.5652/
inverted that trope; Livia Cuxena needed crucifying. In Talbus the Guard you’ve quite skillfully intertwined the the two tropes. And as a writer you’re goddam good.
Do carry on.
Attachments
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Juan1234
Guest
Huh - I’ll have to check that story out to see what you mean. Thanks!
J
Juan1234
Guest
My apologies, All, but I need to replace that last installment before moving on. I failed to remember an important detail, as you will see...
J
Juan1234
Guest
"Talbus..." Phillip was hoarse and didn't turn his head, seemingly frozen in eternal agony, balancing his buttocks on his shallow sedile, but Talbus' ear was trained to hear the pleas of the dying. "Some water?"
Talbus was glad to have something to put his hand to; his thoughts were more than he wanted to deal with. "Of course old boy," and he raised a sponge to the man's sun-parched lips and listened as the raspy throat swallowed. Water also ran off his chin and down his sun-baked chest. "More?" Talbus offered. Phillip stared at nothing for a moment, as if he'd lost consciousness, then slurred his response with great effort: "A little more?" Again Talbus watched him suck on the sponge like a baby at his mother's breast.
"Almost over, Phillip," he patted the man's knee amicably. "Tonight will be cool, I think. You'll probably go before morning." Phillip just nodded. "You know, if you want to be sure of it, you could try coming off the sedile. But that's up to you, of course." Phillip nodded again.
Having finished with Phillip, and having no other immediate duties, Talbus wandered toward young Julia, who sat against the upright stake that would be hers, hugging her knees to her chest. Seeing Talbus approaching her, the other soldiers asked him to guard her while they went into the city to find out what was going on with the new beam.
Talbus picked up her discarded shift and held it out to her as he approached. To keep her from losing too much blood, her pierced wrists had been bandaged tightly with strips from the shift, so the shift was in even worse condition than it had been when Talbus had first seen her emerge from the gate, but it was all that he could offer her. He greeted her with an avuncular "hello..." but she only looked up at him with a weary, resigned terror in her blue eyes. Anna's eyes had been green, he remembered. "You can wear this until they get back," he offered, and she seemed to understand he wasn't there to torment her, though her face remained hardened - more hardened than seemed natural for so delicate a creature. She stood and reached for the torn garment, but her hands were useless to her, locked forever in the shape of an eagle’s talons. She shrugged in frustration, handing the torn garment back to Talbus. He took it and tied it about her hips as best he could. He could tell it was disagreeable to her to have him touching her, but it seemed to be what she preferred rather than sitting there naked, so he proceeded, and she tolerated it. Several attempts yielded no way for him to fasten the cloth about her upper body, and the girl’s evident discomfort with this Roman guard trying to cover her small breasts quickly led her to take the tatters from Talbus with her tightly wrapped forearms and hug them to herself. She stared at the ground.
"Your father became a sort of friend to me," Talbus continued, and she looked up at him, more interested than before. "I think it's brave that you tried to avenge him." Then, as she looked away, to his surprise, a single tear rolled down her hardened face, and he felt the need to swallow hard himself.
"He was a good man," she said quietly, staring away, wiping away the tear and shedding no more.
(To be continued...)
Talbus was glad to have something to put his hand to; his thoughts were more than he wanted to deal with. "Of course old boy," and he raised a sponge to the man's sun-parched lips and listened as the raspy throat swallowed. Water also ran off his chin and down his sun-baked chest. "More?" Talbus offered. Phillip stared at nothing for a moment, as if he'd lost consciousness, then slurred his response with great effort: "A little more?" Again Talbus watched him suck on the sponge like a baby at his mother's breast.
"Almost over, Phillip," he patted the man's knee amicably. "Tonight will be cool, I think. You'll probably go before morning." Phillip just nodded. "You know, if you want to be sure of it, you could try coming off the sedile. But that's up to you, of course." Phillip nodded again.
Having finished with Phillip, and having no other immediate duties, Talbus wandered toward young Julia, who sat against the upright stake that would be hers, hugging her knees to her chest. Seeing Talbus approaching her, the other soldiers asked him to guard her while they went into the city to find out what was going on with the new beam.
Talbus picked up her discarded shift and held it out to her as he approached. To keep her from losing too much blood, her pierced wrists had been bandaged tightly with strips from the shift, so the shift was in even worse condition than it had been when Talbus had first seen her emerge from the gate, but it was all that he could offer her. He greeted her with an avuncular "hello..." but she only looked up at him with a weary, resigned terror in her blue eyes. Anna's eyes had been green, he remembered. "You can wear this until they get back," he offered, and she seemed to understand he wasn't there to torment her, though her face remained hardened - more hardened than seemed natural for so delicate a creature. She stood and reached for the torn garment, but her hands were useless to her, locked forever in the shape of an eagle’s talons. She shrugged in frustration, handing the torn garment back to Talbus. He took it and tied it about her hips as best he could. He could tell it was disagreeable to her to have him touching her, but it seemed to be what she preferred rather than sitting there naked, so he proceeded, and she tolerated it. Several attempts yielded no way for him to fasten the cloth about her upper body, and the girl’s evident discomfort with this Roman guard trying to cover her small breasts quickly led her to take the tatters from Talbus with her tightly wrapped forearms and hug them to herself. She stared at the ground.
"Your father became a sort of friend to me," Talbus continued, and she looked up at him, more interested than before. "I think it's brave that you tried to avenge him." Then, as she looked away, to his surprise, a single tear rolled down her hardened face, and he felt the need to swallow hard himself.
"He was a good man," she said quietly, staring away, wiping away the tear and shedding no more.
(To be continued...)
J
Juan1234
Guest
“Can we fuck her?” A pair of youths no older than Julia grinned up at Talbus. Julia’s eyes rolled in weary disgust as she turned to await Talbus’ response.
“Sorry, Boys,” he said in his almost friendly, yet distant guard-voice, “You’ll have to wait until she’s on the cross.”
“Awww...!” Their disappointment was friendly, showing they hadn’t had much hope. “But how are we supposed to fuck her when she’s on the cross?” one of them asked, still grinning. Talbus acknowledged the question with the minimum flash of an unamused smile necessary not to seem a killjoy.
“Good luck, Boys.” And they went back to the road with the rest of the crowd to watch the proceedings.
For several more minutes, Talbus stood next to Julia, and Julia continued to hug her shift to her chest and stare at the ground. She didn’t want to talk, and Talbus could think of nothing to say.
Then the execution squad reappeared with a new beam and set it down a few yards from where they were standing.
“Well,” Talbus began, turning toward the girl, but he found her already forcing her hands down between her shift and her waist to undress. One of Talbus’ knots wouldn’t come undone, so he reached over to untie it for her, and the garment fell away. She draped it twice over her forearm and handed it silently to Talbus, not looking him in the eye. He took it, and as he patted her bare back, she was already walking naked toward the soldiers to be crucified.
“It won’t hurt so badly the second time,” he told her. He didn’t know if she heard him. He didn’t know if it was true.
(To be continued...)
“Sorry, Boys,” he said in his almost friendly, yet distant guard-voice, “You’ll have to wait until she’s on the cross.”
“Awww...!” Their disappointment was friendly, showing they hadn’t had much hope. “But how are we supposed to fuck her when she’s on the cross?” one of them asked, still grinning. Talbus acknowledged the question with the minimum flash of an unamused smile necessary not to seem a killjoy.
“Good luck, Boys.” And they went back to the road with the rest of the crowd to watch the proceedings.
For several more minutes, Talbus stood next to Julia, and Julia continued to hug her shift to her chest and stare at the ground. She didn’t want to talk, and Talbus could think of nothing to say.
Then the execution squad reappeared with a new beam and set it down a few yards from where they were standing.
“Well,” Talbus began, turning toward the girl, but he found her already forcing her hands down between her shift and her waist to undress. One of Talbus’ knots wouldn’t come undone, so he reached over to untie it for her, and the garment fell away. She draped it twice over her forearm and handed it silently to Talbus, not looking him in the eye. He took it, and as he patted her bare back, she was already walking naked toward the soldiers to be crucified.
“It won’t hurt so badly the second time,” he told her. He didn’t know if she heard him. He didn’t know if it was true.
(To be continued...)
Lordhellkai
Spectator
Wow this story is incredible!
