Epilogue of a Research Trip to Little Brampton…
Well, that was
quite the research trip if you ask me. I know what you are thinking; what good is a PhD awarded posthumously and did she taste good?
I can’t say if she would have tasted good though with Dorothy Brown and her evil sister Emma, descendants of the medieval chef Ingrid, I have no doubt she would have but we may never know. You see while you and I, the thousand or so in Little Brampton’s market square, and the millions watching on
RR Video Productions Platinum Channel all saw Barb hanged by the neck until dead…
…she really
wasn’t dead. As she was being hoisted up by her neck Ulrika shot her in her tight little with a fast acting dart that induced a death-like coma that allowed Miss Moore to survive the hour.
The drug made it appear that Barb had strangled at around 20 minutes and without testing her with sophisticated instruments she appeared dead. You could even have touched a lit cigarette to her tumescent nipples and you would not have got even a reflexive reaction from her. The only shortcoming of the drug is that Barb was quite aware of the noose torturing her neck for the full hour she hanged, could hear the crowd, and feel the rope vibrate as the three witches that were hanged before her were lowered and the next condemned witches were hoisted up.
I tried to let Barb unwind by sailing her back to the states on my luxury sailing yacht
Crux and Gallows but certain things beyond her still bruised neck reminded her of her ordeal.
When we got back Barb behaved somewhat erratically. Instead of returning to the University of the Virgin Martyrs she met up Dorothy Brown and went Detroit to try to forget what had happened to her.
Finally her friend Siss did an intervention and got Barb profession help.
I know you all think Siss was burned at the stake but due to severe thunderstorms in Little Brampton that night burning her at the stake was cancelled until the 2017 Harvest Festival™. They were going to keep her in church cellar for a year until she convinced them that it would be cheaper to let her go back to Philadelphia and she would return for next year’s festival. Upon returning home Siss would shred her passport and register on the TSA’s ‘no-fly’ list (after the Harvest Festival™ of 2017 the president would allow her a new passport and remove her name from the list).
One thing Ulrika did for Barb (besides saving her life) was write her contract with
RR Video Productions that gave Barb the video rights to her hanging after live broadcast if she could somehow survive an hour hanged. This greatly annoyed both the rodent and Chancellor Emeritus Despard Wragg as Miss Moore had considerable leverage when it was time to discuss her annual wage assessment.
As Miss Moore wraps up her PhD she runs a test on the ‘Ulrika drug’ she had her tight little shot with a dart at Little Brampton. She has no problem getting volunteers for her research to see if the shot worked even if the subject didn’t know if she was getting the real drug or the placebo and in the 50 week trial 25 students would die using the placebo but none with the secret drug.
The FDA approved the drug for recreational hangings of one hour or less for women only. Guys do not try this at home.
Barbara Moore would visit me at the Tree estate and demand to know why I didn’t save her from the noose. I tried to explain I only report but she doesn’t buy it. She asks “Have you seen my neck? It is scarred by the noose!”
I try to tell her that if I hadn’t made the noose she wouldn’t be talking to me.
I am summons to a higher power than even the pope. He says to me “did you think I would let my Goddaughter die hanged?”
“No Godfather, it never crossed my mind” I reply.
“Good… She is already planning the ‘Great Slave Rebellion of 2017. That would be bad for business. I thank you for sparing her but now you must prepare to crucify her.”
“She’s not going to like that” I reply.
“Do your job, Tree, and quit thinking” the Godfather replies.
That I can do…
Tree
FIN