Cella
Spectator
Rather long, but I hope it can hold your interest to the end. Thanks for reading!
Why Did You Look at Me?
by Marcella
Why?
Why did you look at me?
Me, of all people, why?
I was just passing by
On my way somewhere else
Not like the others
In this surging crowd
Pushing and shoving
To get close to you
Trying to get your attention
With their insults, jeers
And lascivious taunts
I never wanted to get you attention
I was just a passerby
A girl walking down the street
But I made a wrong turn
Trying to find my way
Through the city streets
When I turned a corner
That opened into a courtyard
And there you were
Quite a surprise
More of a shock, actually, to see
In this beautifully sun-lit space
A young, dark-haired, pretty girl
Nailed to a cross, naked
Suspended above the crowd
That packs this enclosed space
And presses close to you
Watching as you hang, writhing,
Twisting on the iron nails
Hammered through your wrists and feet
Your head bobbling and tossing
Up and down, side to side
As you grunt and groan
Enduring the grinding,
Relentless agony of crucifixion
Oh, I’ve seen crucifixions before
They are so bloody awful
I never stayed to watch
And stare at the wretched victim
Hanging exposed and humiliated
Convulsed in pain beyond understanding
I certainly never meant to give you
More than a glance
As I hurried past
The sight of nails piercing flesh
The oozing blood, the pitiful screams
The vomit, the piss, the shit
Just disgust me too much
To ever want to stay
And watch someone die
Guilty or innocent,
I don’t care, really,
Why you were crucified
I was just anxious
To get past this awful place
As I was on my way elsewhere
And was in a hurry
People were waiting for me
Expecting me
People who love me, and I them
So I only paused to give you a glance
As I skirted the excited crowd
Staying close by a wall
That enclosed part of the courtyard
To proceed on my way
Putting the horror of your execution
Behind me and out of mind
But then you looked at me, didn’t you?
You head was dropped to your chest
When it suddenly jerked up
And you scanned the crowd
To find me way in the back
As I glanced at you
Briefly, while walking past
And our eyes met
And locked
For only an instant
Before I turned away
But I felt your gaze on me
Like a bee delivering its sting
“Marcella”
I heard my name
As though whispered in my ear
But I didn’t stop
I wanted to be away
From this awful place
From the rude crowd
And from you
Then the voice again
As soft as a whisper, but insistent
Even demanding
Saying “Marcella, come back”
This time I couldn’t resist
Dammit it! I couldn’t resist
So I stopped
And listening to that inner voice
(It was you, wasn’t it? I know it was!)
I turned and walked back
Slipping into the crowd
Working my way through them
To approach your cross
So to satisfy a curiosity
I could not explain
Or was it an itch I could not scratch?
Whatever!
Now, in the midst of the crowd
Standing close by your cross
I look up at you
And my stomach sinks at the sight
Of the huge nails that affix
Your soft, feminine body
To the hard, unyielding wood
And oh, so attractive you are!
Such a lovely face and figure
Curvaceous and leggy
With heavy, creamy breasts
Tumescent, dark nipples
Full, luscious lips, cracked and bleeding
Cascading, softly curled black hair
Oh, and a shaved pussy!
I feel awkward and uncomfortable
Staring at your nakedness
I am humiliated for you
A tortured young woman
So cruelly stretched out
Across the roughly hewn wood
Unable to preserve her dignity
My face burns in commiserative shame
To see you suffering, dying
So tortured, so degraded
You seem no older than I
Eighteen or nineteen, at most
A young woman
In the full flush of life
Only to be bled out on this cross
A fresh bloom, torn and shredded
How terrible; how awful, fucking terrible!
Yet, despite the gore rising in me
I stand still and look up at you
Fascinated by your writhing dance
As you hang in front of the crowd
Groaning and swearing
Your body glistening with sweat
That runs down your face
Over your chest and breasts
To stream over your belly
You never look at any of the males
Who shout at you
As they grab their crotches
Or shake their cocks
Begging you to look on them
As though they have anything
A crucified girl would want
No, you just toss your pretty head
In anguish as you endure
The moment by moment horror
And agony of crucifixion.
Nor do you give the females here,
Many of them your own age,
Any attention whatsoever
They call out
Mocking your terrible situation
"Hey girl," they shout
"Look over here, baby."
"You’re so cute, you know"
Some even flash their boobs
(I have no fucking idea why!)
You pay no heed to them
Nor how they chastise
Their boyfriends or husbands
Who leer at your nakedness
With such obvious swelling desire!
Oh, what crime could you be guilty of
I wonder, as I fix my eyes on you,
That condemned you to be crucified
You look so innocent to me
Just a young girl
What could you have done
To deserve such an awful fate?
You don’t appear to be a slave
A mere slave would never draw
Such a teeming, boisterous crowd
Slaves are crucified all the time
No, you’re no slave, I’m sure
So what cruel circumstances
Or terrible twist of fate
Could bring a sweet-looking girl
To such a cruel end?
The press of the crowd increases
And I am jostled and pushed rudely
I squirm away as hands grab at me
For my breasts, my ass
Or to run up my legs
Suddenly I fear for my safety
This is not a place for me
I’m alone, a young woman
In a hostile crowd
Surrounded by men
Aroused by the sight
The awful, yet, I must now admit
The erotic sight
Of the crucified girl
I could be assaulted
And end up on my back
In a dark alley
My breasts mauled
And my tunic pushed up
Over my hips
My loincloth ripped away
Raped, and likely left for dead!
My heart pounding in fear
I turn away from you
As I try to push my way
Out of the crowd
Past the grabbing hands
And lascivious leers
To be on my way once more
Out of this city
Back to the welcoming arms
Of people who love me
Then, again, I hear
That soft, seductive voice:
“Marcella, stay with me”
And again, I stop
Then turning around
I push my way back into the pack
Elbowing and shoving
To again stand before you
“I am here,” I say
As I look up at your hanging body
And then, you look at me
Your eyes lock onto mine
As you look down from your cross
Why? Out of all the people gathered
To watch you die and mock your misery
You picked me to look at
Me! Who never wanted to look
Or stay to watch such horror
And now I can’t look away
You stare at me
With your incredibly deep,
Dark brown eyes
So filled with pain and agony
You seem to look right into my soul
And I see you, the real you
For the first time
Not just your physical presence
Suddenly, you were no longer
A poor, unfortunate young woman
Crucified for some supposed crime
I sense something else, much deeper,
Darker, ominous
More malicious about you
Something hidden behind the youthful façade
Of a lovely young, loving woman
Keeping your eyes fixed on me
You relax your legs and hang
From your nailed wrists
Pulling taut your slender arms
Streaked with rivulets of crimson blood
I can’t imagine how that feels
Hanging from those awful spikes!
Your eyes stay fixed on mine
Holding me in place
As your thighs spread apart
Revealing your cunt
The wet cleft suddenly enticing
Are you exposing yourself to me?
I’m not attracted to girls
In that way. No! Never!
Yet your intense gaze
Your heaving breasts
And gaping wet slit
Are presented to me
As an invitation
Much as a common whore
Advertising for business
Even as you hang in insufferable agony
Those unbearably deep, brown eyes of yours
Stay locked on mine
Holding me fast, immobile
I am utterly in your thrall!
I feel you immediately
My mind says to run
Get away from this place!
But I’m in your grasp, caught
You are a gypsy girl, perhaps?
Yes, they have a reputation
For being duplicitous
Yet, you are fair, and they are dusky
So who are you?
What are you?
I move even closer
As close as I can get
Looking up at your pain-etched face
Framed in long dark curls
Of luxurious hair
Your dark nipples, tumescent
Jutting, thrusting forward
From your heaving breasts
Then I let my gaze travel down
Your tensed body
To your gaping wet pussy
So lewdly exposed
Yet so warm and inviting!
Oh, I so want to suck on those nipples
And flick my tongue
Between your nether lips
Drinking in your juices
(Oh my, this isn't me!)
But it is your eyes that hold me
Those deep, brown eyes
Like pools of unfathomable depths
That hold me in place
Quivering, excited, aroused
I go weak in my knees
And suddenly, breathless, and dizzy
With a warm, pleasurable ache spreading
Throughout my pelvis
I am wet
And blush
With the intimacy of your gaze
I stumble backwards
The crowd parting as I go
To the wall across from you
Where I had skirted the crowd
Trying to leave this courtyard
I still want to leave, to get away
I see the way out
I try to turn, to leave
But I cannot
I feel you inside me
Prodding, poking, caressing
I lean against the wall
Feeling the warm stone
Sweat beads on my forehead
And runs between my breasts
And down my back
I breathe in and out, deeply
I see you on your cross
Over the crowd
I’m held by your gaze
My nipples, suddenly hard
Push against the fabric of my tunic
I feel like such a wanton slut
Burning with passion
I cup my breasts, squeezing
Feeling their weight and shape
As never before
I roll the hard nipples
Between thumbs and forefingers
Feeling ripples of pleasure surge through me
Why am I behaving like this?
I’m ashamed
Are people watching?
But I am locked by your gaze
It is as though we are
The only two people
In the whole world
I pull up the hem of my tunic
Spread my legs for balance
And reach for my crotch
I cup my vulva
And feel the heat
Between my legs
The warm wetness of my bush
Thrills me as I slip a finger
Between my slick cleft
Ah, there’s my nubbin!
I but touch it and I’m thrilled
With cascades of pure pleasure
That only increase in intensity
As I stroke myself
I am overwhelmed with passion
I slide down to the ground
My legs too wobbly to support me
Leaning back against the wall
I bend and open my legs wide
My tunic gathers around my hips
My long, bare legs are exposed
As I furiously masturbate with one hand
Whilst the other twists and squeezes
My incredibly sensitive nipples
Why am I doing this?
Don’t they see me, the people in the crowd?
I’m acting so brazenly wanton in public
I burn with shame yet cannot stop
I close my eyes, moaning in such pleasure
As I have never felt before
Despite being quite practiced
In pleasuring myself
All I see in my mind
Are the piercing, dark eyes
Of you, the crucified girl!
As their unblinking gaze penetrates
Deeper and deeper into my own soul
It is as though we are one
When I climax
It is as though I feel myself rising up
Stretched out and naked
Waves of sexual pleasure crash into me
Rendering me a quivering mass of sexual abandonment
To such primal, elemental, pleasures
Moaning and gasping
I squeeze my thighs together
To intensify the swiftly waning pulses
Of sweet, paroxysmal pleasures
Still reverberating within me
I fall over to my side
My hand between my clenched thighs
But instead of hitting the ground
I feel myself drop
Into an abyss of utter darkness
I’m swallowed up
And as I fall I sense the presence
Of you, the crucified girl
With me in me in the darkness
Your arms wrap around me
You hold me close
Our breasts are crushed together
Our hips grinding
You gaze into my eyes
And hold me fast
“Thank you, Marcella,” you say
With a voice deep, sensual, and cruel
There's a sudden, stabbing pain between my legs
I feel myself being penetrated
With something hot, long and hard
Thrusting into my virginal pussy
(How can that be happening?)
As you kiss me gently on the lips
And a warm, incredibly long tongue
Slips into my mouth
Probing and flicking,
Almost down my throat
Oh, I have never felt such passion
Such pleasure!
As I again explode in orgasms
Then I’m alone
In the bright sun
I hear voices, many of them
Harsh, abusive, vicious
My eyes flicker open
I’m not on the ground
No! No! No!
How is this possible?
I’m up in the air!
Above the crowd!
What the fuck is this?
I’m stretched out, hanging!
On a cross! How? How?
I look down between creamy breasts
(What is this? These aren't my breasts!)
With their thrusting, dark nipples
(My nipples are much lighter!)
My legs are splayed wide!
My feet are nailed to the upright
I look up along my arms
To see nailed wrists
Oozing blood
Oh shit! Oh shit!
I’m naked, I’m crucified!
Oh shit! Oh fuck!
I’m crucified! Crucified!
Horrible, pulsating
Burning agonies
Rip through in my body
My muscles are cramped
And stretched beyond endurance
I throw back my head and scream
It’s not my voice! It’s hers!
I recognize it!
I see dark strands of long black hair
Cascading over my shoulders
Reaching to the tops of my – no, her breasts
This isn’t my body!
My hair is fair, light brown
I look down again
These are not my breasts I see
And where is my bush?
Gone!
No! This is not my body!
Those aren't my legs I see
When I look down
And those aren't my arms I see
When I look up
I know my own fucking body
And this isn't mine!
Yet I feel agony, so much agony!
Piercing, tearing, burning
As though it were my body
Nailed to this cross.
What awful dream is this?
But so real, so much agony!
I look out over the crowd
At all the faces looking up at me
With such hate, such venom
As they cheer at my sufferings
What am I looking for?
And then, suddenly
In the center of the crowd
I see myself! My face!
Looking up at me!
Me! My own brown eyes, staring back,
Seem so incredibly deep
Like infinitely deep pools
But they are no longer mine.
They belong to her – this girl
Whose body I inhabit on the cross
My body has been stolen!
I will serve out her sentence
To die on this cross
Then to be tossed into an unmarked grave
She! A malevolent spirit
That craves love
But only love she can possess, control
Desecrate, to whatever end
She will infect my family!
My loved ones, with her evil!
Not only will I die here
In her place
But soon I will also die to my family
As they come to hate the creature
They believe to be me!
As she drains their love for me
Out of them
To satiate her wicked soul.
Oh why did I stop?
Why did she pick me?
Was it because I was not of this town?
Was I her way out?
I watch in disbelief and horror
As my possessed body turns
And walks away.
She – no, not she! It!
It looks at me through my own eyes
One last time, casting an evil glare
As it melts away into the crowd
Then down the street
Toward my loved ones
I scream, and scream
With a voice not my own,
In a tortured, crucified body
Not my own!
Dying a death not meant for me!
I hear the shouted curses
From all around me
As I hang in utter agony
And desolation
I look down at them
Their faces snarling and vicious
“Die, witch! Die! Die!”
“Damn you to hell sorceress!”
“Suffer enchantress!”
“Your spells cannot save you now!”
Ah, I realize
As I push up, screaming
They can!
Why Did You Look at Me?
by Marcella
Why?
Why did you look at me?
Me, of all people, why?
I was just passing by
On my way somewhere else
Not like the others
In this surging crowd
Pushing and shoving
To get close to you
Trying to get your attention
With their insults, jeers
And lascivious taunts
I never wanted to get you attention
I was just a passerby
A girl walking down the street
But I made a wrong turn
Trying to find my way
Through the city streets
When I turned a corner
That opened into a courtyard
And there you were
Quite a surprise
More of a shock, actually, to see
In this beautifully sun-lit space
A young, dark-haired, pretty girl
Nailed to a cross, naked
Suspended above the crowd
That packs this enclosed space
And presses close to you
Watching as you hang, writhing,
Twisting on the iron nails
Hammered through your wrists and feet
Your head bobbling and tossing
Up and down, side to side
As you grunt and groan
Enduring the grinding,
Relentless agony of crucifixion
Oh, I’ve seen crucifixions before
They are so bloody awful
I never stayed to watch
And stare at the wretched victim
Hanging exposed and humiliated
Convulsed in pain beyond understanding
I certainly never meant to give you
More than a glance
As I hurried past
The sight of nails piercing flesh
The oozing blood, the pitiful screams
The vomit, the piss, the shit
Just disgust me too much
To ever want to stay
And watch someone die
Guilty or innocent,
I don’t care, really,
Why you were crucified
I was just anxious
To get past this awful place
As I was on my way elsewhere
And was in a hurry
People were waiting for me
Expecting me
People who love me, and I them
So I only paused to give you a glance
As I skirted the excited crowd
Staying close by a wall
That enclosed part of the courtyard
To proceed on my way
Putting the horror of your execution
Behind me and out of mind
But then you looked at me, didn’t you?
You head was dropped to your chest
When it suddenly jerked up
And you scanned the crowd
To find me way in the back
As I glanced at you
Briefly, while walking past
And our eyes met
And locked
For only an instant
Before I turned away
But I felt your gaze on me
Like a bee delivering its sting
“Marcella”
I heard my name
As though whispered in my ear
But I didn’t stop
I wanted to be away
From this awful place
From the rude crowd
And from you
Then the voice again
As soft as a whisper, but insistent
Even demanding
Saying “Marcella, come back”
This time I couldn’t resist
Dammit it! I couldn’t resist
So I stopped
And listening to that inner voice
(It was you, wasn’t it? I know it was!)
I turned and walked back
Slipping into the crowd
Working my way through them
To approach your cross
So to satisfy a curiosity
I could not explain
Or was it an itch I could not scratch?
Whatever!
Now, in the midst of the crowd
Standing close by your cross
I look up at you
And my stomach sinks at the sight
Of the huge nails that affix
Your soft, feminine body
To the hard, unyielding wood
And oh, so attractive you are!
Such a lovely face and figure
Curvaceous and leggy
With heavy, creamy breasts
Tumescent, dark nipples
Full, luscious lips, cracked and bleeding
Cascading, softly curled black hair
Oh, and a shaved pussy!
I feel awkward and uncomfortable
Staring at your nakedness
I am humiliated for you
A tortured young woman
So cruelly stretched out
Across the roughly hewn wood
Unable to preserve her dignity
My face burns in commiserative shame
To see you suffering, dying
So tortured, so degraded
You seem no older than I
Eighteen or nineteen, at most
A young woman
In the full flush of life
Only to be bled out on this cross
A fresh bloom, torn and shredded
How terrible; how awful, fucking terrible!
Yet, despite the gore rising in me
I stand still and look up at you
Fascinated by your writhing dance
As you hang in front of the crowd
Groaning and swearing
Your body glistening with sweat
That runs down your face
Over your chest and breasts
To stream over your belly
You never look at any of the males
Who shout at you
As they grab their crotches
Or shake their cocks
Begging you to look on them
As though they have anything
A crucified girl would want
No, you just toss your pretty head
In anguish as you endure
The moment by moment horror
And agony of crucifixion.
Nor do you give the females here,
Many of them your own age,
Any attention whatsoever
They call out
Mocking your terrible situation
"Hey girl," they shout
"Look over here, baby."
"You’re so cute, you know"
Some even flash their boobs
(I have no fucking idea why!)
You pay no heed to them
Nor how they chastise
Their boyfriends or husbands
Who leer at your nakedness
With such obvious swelling desire!
Oh, what crime could you be guilty of
I wonder, as I fix my eyes on you,
That condemned you to be crucified
You look so innocent to me
Just a young girl
What could you have done
To deserve such an awful fate?
You don’t appear to be a slave
A mere slave would never draw
Such a teeming, boisterous crowd
Slaves are crucified all the time
No, you’re no slave, I’m sure
So what cruel circumstances
Or terrible twist of fate
Could bring a sweet-looking girl
To such a cruel end?
The press of the crowd increases
And I am jostled and pushed rudely
I squirm away as hands grab at me
For my breasts, my ass
Or to run up my legs
Suddenly I fear for my safety
This is not a place for me
I’m alone, a young woman
In a hostile crowd
Surrounded by men
Aroused by the sight
The awful, yet, I must now admit
The erotic sight
Of the crucified girl
I could be assaulted
And end up on my back
In a dark alley
My breasts mauled
And my tunic pushed up
Over my hips
My loincloth ripped away
Raped, and likely left for dead!
My heart pounding in fear
I turn away from you
As I try to push my way
Out of the crowd
Past the grabbing hands
And lascivious leers
To be on my way once more
Out of this city
Back to the welcoming arms
Of people who love me
Then, again, I hear
That soft, seductive voice:
“Marcella, stay with me”
And again, I stop
Then turning around
I push my way back into the pack
Elbowing and shoving
To again stand before you
“I am here,” I say
As I look up at your hanging body
And then, you look at me
Your eyes lock onto mine
As you look down from your cross
Why? Out of all the people gathered
To watch you die and mock your misery
You picked me to look at
Me! Who never wanted to look
Or stay to watch such horror
And now I can’t look away
You stare at me
With your incredibly deep,
Dark brown eyes
So filled with pain and agony
You seem to look right into my soul
And I see you, the real you
For the first time
Not just your physical presence
Suddenly, you were no longer
A poor, unfortunate young woman
Crucified for some supposed crime
I sense something else, much deeper,
Darker, ominous
More malicious about you
Something hidden behind the youthful façade
Of a lovely young, loving woman
Keeping your eyes fixed on me
You relax your legs and hang
From your nailed wrists
Pulling taut your slender arms
Streaked with rivulets of crimson blood
I can’t imagine how that feels
Hanging from those awful spikes!
Your eyes stay fixed on mine
Holding me in place
As your thighs spread apart
Revealing your cunt
The wet cleft suddenly enticing
Are you exposing yourself to me?
I’m not attracted to girls
In that way. No! Never!
Yet your intense gaze
Your heaving breasts
And gaping wet slit
Are presented to me
As an invitation
Much as a common whore
Advertising for business
Even as you hang in insufferable agony
Those unbearably deep, brown eyes of yours
Stay locked on mine
Holding me fast, immobile
I am utterly in your thrall!
I feel you immediately
My mind says to run
Get away from this place!
But I’m in your grasp, caught
You are a gypsy girl, perhaps?
Yes, they have a reputation
For being duplicitous
Yet, you are fair, and they are dusky
So who are you?
What are you?
I move even closer
As close as I can get
Looking up at your pain-etched face
Framed in long dark curls
Of luxurious hair
Your dark nipples, tumescent
Jutting, thrusting forward
From your heaving breasts
Then I let my gaze travel down
Your tensed body
To your gaping wet pussy
So lewdly exposed
Yet so warm and inviting!
Oh, I so want to suck on those nipples
And flick my tongue
Between your nether lips
Drinking in your juices
(Oh my, this isn't me!)
But it is your eyes that hold me
Those deep, brown eyes
Like pools of unfathomable depths
That hold me in place
Quivering, excited, aroused
I go weak in my knees
And suddenly, breathless, and dizzy
With a warm, pleasurable ache spreading
Throughout my pelvis
I am wet
And blush
With the intimacy of your gaze
I stumble backwards
The crowd parting as I go
To the wall across from you
Where I had skirted the crowd
Trying to leave this courtyard
I still want to leave, to get away
I see the way out
I try to turn, to leave
But I cannot
I feel you inside me
Prodding, poking, caressing
I lean against the wall
Feeling the warm stone
Sweat beads on my forehead
And runs between my breasts
And down my back
I breathe in and out, deeply
I see you on your cross
Over the crowd
I’m held by your gaze
My nipples, suddenly hard
Push against the fabric of my tunic
I feel like such a wanton slut
Burning with passion
I cup my breasts, squeezing
Feeling their weight and shape
As never before
I roll the hard nipples
Between thumbs and forefingers
Feeling ripples of pleasure surge through me
Why am I behaving like this?
I’m ashamed
Are people watching?
But I am locked by your gaze
It is as though we are
The only two people
In the whole world
I pull up the hem of my tunic
Spread my legs for balance
And reach for my crotch
I cup my vulva
And feel the heat
Between my legs
The warm wetness of my bush
Thrills me as I slip a finger
Between my slick cleft
Ah, there’s my nubbin!
I but touch it and I’m thrilled
With cascades of pure pleasure
That only increase in intensity
As I stroke myself
I am overwhelmed with passion
I slide down to the ground
My legs too wobbly to support me
Leaning back against the wall
I bend and open my legs wide
My tunic gathers around my hips
My long, bare legs are exposed
As I furiously masturbate with one hand
Whilst the other twists and squeezes
My incredibly sensitive nipples
Why am I doing this?
Don’t they see me, the people in the crowd?
I’m acting so brazenly wanton in public
I burn with shame yet cannot stop
I close my eyes, moaning in such pleasure
As I have never felt before
Despite being quite practiced
In pleasuring myself
All I see in my mind
Are the piercing, dark eyes
Of you, the crucified girl!
As their unblinking gaze penetrates
Deeper and deeper into my own soul
It is as though we are one
When I climax
It is as though I feel myself rising up
Stretched out and naked
Waves of sexual pleasure crash into me
Rendering me a quivering mass of sexual abandonment
To such primal, elemental, pleasures
Moaning and gasping
I squeeze my thighs together
To intensify the swiftly waning pulses
Of sweet, paroxysmal pleasures
Still reverberating within me
I fall over to my side
My hand between my clenched thighs
But instead of hitting the ground
I feel myself drop
Into an abyss of utter darkness
I’m swallowed up
And as I fall I sense the presence
Of you, the crucified girl
With me in me in the darkness
Your arms wrap around me
You hold me close
Our breasts are crushed together
Our hips grinding
You gaze into my eyes
And hold me fast
“Thank you, Marcella,” you say
With a voice deep, sensual, and cruel
There's a sudden, stabbing pain between my legs
I feel myself being penetrated
With something hot, long and hard
Thrusting into my virginal pussy
(How can that be happening?)
As you kiss me gently on the lips
And a warm, incredibly long tongue
Slips into my mouth
Probing and flicking,
Almost down my throat
Oh, I have never felt such passion
Such pleasure!
As I again explode in orgasms
Then I’m alone
In the bright sun
I hear voices, many of them
Harsh, abusive, vicious
My eyes flicker open
I’m not on the ground
No! No! No!
How is this possible?
I’m up in the air!
Above the crowd!
What the fuck is this?
I’m stretched out, hanging!
On a cross! How? How?
I look down between creamy breasts
(What is this? These aren't my breasts!)
With their thrusting, dark nipples
(My nipples are much lighter!)
My legs are splayed wide!
My feet are nailed to the upright
I look up along my arms
To see nailed wrists
Oozing blood
Oh shit! Oh shit!
I’m naked, I’m crucified!
Oh shit! Oh fuck!
I’m crucified! Crucified!
Horrible, pulsating
Burning agonies
Rip through in my body
My muscles are cramped
And stretched beyond endurance
I throw back my head and scream
It’s not my voice! It’s hers!
I recognize it!
I see dark strands of long black hair
Cascading over my shoulders
Reaching to the tops of my – no, her breasts
This isn’t my body!
My hair is fair, light brown
I look down again
These are not my breasts I see
And where is my bush?
Gone!
No! This is not my body!
Those aren't my legs I see
When I look down
And those aren't my arms I see
When I look up
I know my own fucking body
And this isn't mine!
Yet I feel agony, so much agony!
Piercing, tearing, burning
As though it were my body
Nailed to this cross.
What awful dream is this?
But so real, so much agony!
I look out over the crowd
At all the faces looking up at me
With such hate, such venom
As they cheer at my sufferings
What am I looking for?
And then, suddenly
In the center of the crowd
I see myself! My face!
Looking up at me!
Me! My own brown eyes, staring back,
Seem so incredibly deep
Like infinitely deep pools
But they are no longer mine.
They belong to her – this girl
Whose body I inhabit on the cross
My body has been stolen!
I will serve out her sentence
To die on this cross
Then to be tossed into an unmarked grave
She! A malevolent spirit
That craves love
But only love she can possess, control
Desecrate, to whatever end
She will infect my family!
My loved ones, with her evil!
Not only will I die here
In her place
But soon I will also die to my family
As they come to hate the creature
They believe to be me!
As she drains their love for me
Out of them
To satiate her wicked soul.
Oh why did I stop?
Why did she pick me?
Was it because I was not of this town?
Was I her way out?
I watch in disbelief and horror
As my possessed body turns
And walks away.
She – no, not she! It!
It looks at me through my own eyes
One last time, casting an evil glare
As it melts away into the crowd
Then down the street
Toward my loved ones
I scream, and scream
With a voice not my own,
In a tortured, crucified body
Not my own!
Dying a death not meant for me!
I hear the shouted curses
From all around me
As I hang in utter agony
And desolation
I look down at them
Their faces snarling and vicious
“Die, witch! Die! Die!”
“Damn you to hell sorceress!”
“Suffer enchantress!”
“Your spells cannot save you now!”
Ah, I realize
As I push up, screaming
They can!
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