Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
l'll pass along your application.
I should point out that Master believes gender wage equality is a lot of bunk. He would only pay a man 10£ an hour.
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A Slave's Diary
- Thread starter Praefectus Praetorio
- Start date
l'll pass along your application.
I should point out that Master believes gender wage equality is a lot of bunk. He would only pay a man 10£ an hour.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Monday, March 25, 2019
Yesterday was almost perfect. I went in the morning to get my messages and Master and I went for a long walk at noon. Why long? It didn’t rain! Not a drop! First time in March. And a warm 51° in the afternoon. Then back to my place for training. I was getting a bit better, but I had lots of welts from the crop. Afterwards, I got to cuddle in Master’s lap like with the dog training. That was braw!
Back to Master's confession about his magazine. You all know that in the end Master and I got together. You probably think I hugged him right away after his confession and said it was fine. Well, I didn’t!
I was too confused to really think clearly. The idea that “proper” people like Master (not like me!) would have those thoughts and he wanted to hurt girls like me, was totally new to me. And my excitement at the mag (and my coming so many times the night before) had made me even more confused. I still had terrible guilt and shame about my feelings.
So, I said, firmly and kindly, “Thank you for your honesty. I am not angry at you. But I’m confused and need time to think. You needn’t destroy your collection. Please just give me a little time on my own to think.”
Very sheepishly, he said he would do as I asked. He got up and hobbled back toward his house. Watching him limp on his injured ankle, I did feel very sorry for him. I knew he hurt a lot.
Yesterday was almost perfect. I went in the morning to get my messages and Master and I went for a long walk at noon. Why long? It didn’t rain! Not a drop! First time in March. And a warm 51° in the afternoon. Then back to my place for training. I was getting a bit better, but I had lots of welts from the crop. Afterwards, I got to cuddle in Master’s lap like with the dog training. That was braw!
Back to Master's confession about his magazine. You all know that in the end Master and I got together. You probably think I hugged him right away after his confession and said it was fine. Well, I didn’t!
I was too confused to really think clearly. The idea that “proper” people like Master (not like me!) would have those thoughts and he wanted to hurt girls like me, was totally new to me. And my excitement at the mag (and my coming so many times the night before) had made me even more confused. I still had terrible guilt and shame about my feelings.
So, I said, firmly and kindly, “Thank you for your honesty. I am not angry at you. But I’m confused and need time to think. You needn’t destroy your collection. Please just give me a little time on my own to think.”
Very sheepishly, he said he would do as I asked. He got up and hobbled back toward his house. Watching him limp on his injured ankle, I did feel very sorry for him. I knew he hurt a lot.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Tuesday, March 26, 2019
Another nice day, sunny and 49. Master is traveling on business today and tomorrow and gets back late tomorrow. I think I said before, that I like and hate this. I miss him so bad. But it’s nice to be on my own and feel strong. I picked up my messages this morning (including some stuff for a special meal to make for Master), and cleaned up.
This afternoon Leaf and I had a good blather on the phone. We laughed so hard at some of Ma’s stuff. She had talked to Leaf after visiting me. Of course, she’d gone on about my dump. But when he’s asked about Master, Leaf said she became very flustered. She said a few grudging good things and then had tried to talk about his age. Well, Leaf shut her down right off, saying, “You married an older man, didn’t you?” He said there was silence on the line for the longest time. Soon Ma said she had to ring off.
I know you want to hear more about when did I forgive Master about the magazine. Maybe tomorrow
Another nice day, sunny and 49. Master is traveling on business today and tomorrow and gets back late tomorrow. I think I said before, that I like and hate this. I miss him so bad. But it’s nice to be on my own and feel strong. I picked up my messages this morning (including some stuff for a special meal to make for Master), and cleaned up.
This afternoon Leaf and I had a good blather on the phone. We laughed so hard at some of Ma’s stuff. She had talked to Leaf after visiting me. Of course, she’d gone on about my dump. But when he’s asked about Master, Leaf said she became very flustered. She said a few grudging good things and then had tried to talk about his age. Well, Leaf shut her down right off, saying, “You married an older man, didn’t you?” He said there was silence on the line for the longest time. Soon Ma said she had to ring off.
I know you want to hear more about when did I forgive Master about the magazine. Maybe tomorrow
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
I received this e-mail an hour ago. I have not been able get in touch with Master since. I redacted his name from the email. Dina's Diary entry is in the next post.
Wed 3/27/2019 10:01 PM
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
When I got back home I found a note on my door from Dina about her father. She forwarded her incomplete diary. I am attaching it to this email. Will let you know when I know more.
XXXX
Wed 3/27/2019 10:01 PM
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
When I got back home I found a note on my door from Dina about her father. She forwarded her incomplete diary. I am attaching it to this email. Will let you know when I know more.
XXXX
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Wednesday, March 27, 2019
Dry and 53! It seems like summer! (LOL). With Master away, I just puttered around the house. I practiced some positions. I SO want to do better.
I want you to understand how I feel about training. You know how being a prisoner or slave excites me, and how I get all excited by being whipped. But when Master’s training me, I don’t
My Ma just called. My Da collapsed and is being take to hospital. I’ve got to go!
Dry and 53! It seems like summer! (LOL). With Master away, I just puttered around the house. I practiced some positions. I SO want to do better.
I want you to understand how I feel about training. You know how being a prisoner or slave excites me, and how I get all excited by being whipped. But when Master’s training me, I don’t
My Ma just called. My Da collapsed and is being take to hospital. I’ve got to go!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
I received this e-mail from Master
Thur 3/28/2019 08:05 AM
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
Dina's father was taken by the EMT's to a hospital near GXXXX. He had suffered a heart attack. He did regain consciousness and Dina and her mother were with him through the night. He passed away peacefully this morning at 10 AM local time. Dina's brother is flying in and will be here shortly. I am working with them to make arrangements.
I expect it will be several days before Dina posts a diary entry again. I will keep you informed of any major developments.
XXXX
Thur 3/28/2019 08:05 AM
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
Dina's father was taken by the EMT's to a hospital near GXXXX. He had suffered a heart attack. He did regain consciousness and Dina and her mother were with him through the night. He passed away peacefully this morning at 10 AM local time. Dina's brother is flying in and will be here shortly. I am working with them to make arrangements.
I expect it will be several days before Dina posts a diary entry again. I will keep you informed of any major developments.
XXXX
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Dina's Diary will not post for a few days (we don't know how long). Respectful (Tree!) condolences to her and her family may be posted here.
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
So sorry to read about your loss, Dina. This will be a hard time for your whole family-------don't assume that because you are all together, you will automatically get on-----the heightened emotion can cause more rows, not less-------just concentrate on the practicalities, there will be enough of those-------and beware of starting your opinions "Dad would have liked......" because you all have a different way of ending that sentence.
Rest assured when this period is over, Master will be there to give you time and support to grieve in your own way.
Rest assured when this period is over, Master will be there to give you time and support to grieve in your own way.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Fri 3/31/2019 11:55 AM
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
Today was the Wake and Funeral for Evie’s father, Jack. I never met Jack, though I wish I had. He seemed a fun guy and his chums were all heartbroken over the loss and effusive with stories about their friend. The neighborhood all turned out, though many seemed more from duty than friendship with the family. I was again impressed by Leith. For a 22-year-old, he was incredibly mature and was constantly comforting his mother and sister. He has truly become the “man of the family.”
XXXX
To: praefectusp@outlook.com
Today was the Wake and Funeral for Evie’s father, Jack. I never met Jack, though I wish I had. He seemed a fun guy and his chums were all heartbroken over the loss and effusive with stories about their friend. The neighborhood all turned out, though many seemed more from duty than friendship with the family. I was again impressed by Leith. For a 22-year-old, he was incredibly mature and was constantly comforting his mother and sister. He has truly become the “man of the family.”
XXXX
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Monday, April 1, 2019
I am truly sorry to have left you all hanging for so long. However, there was just too much happening. I sincerely thank all who expressed their sympathy (Mr. Prefect forwarded them to me.) Especially Old Slave; you are so sweet – I love you!
Master drove us back home Sunday, yesterday, afternoon. He has been so strong and helpful throughout this. When we got to my place, I asked him to let me go in by myself.
He asked if there was anything he could do for me. I had been thinking about it during the whole two-hour drive and I answered, yes, there was. I would like a special dungeon day on Monday.
He was very surprised. However, after I explained what I wanted and why, he agreed. Then I detailed how I wanted it to be. He agreed for me to come over at noon and he would do just as I asked. The slave instructing the Master – strange, but what I needed right now.
I showed up at noon and we went straight to the basement. He stripped me slowly, appreciating as my slave’s body was gradually revealed (I love that thought).
He tied me tightly to the x-cross, facing out. He placed a hood over my head.
I had instructed that he use the dog whip on my front. That he was to punish all my front, my
breasts, belly, pussy and thighs. He was to ignore my cries or pleas for mercy. There would be no safe word. I wanted to be whipped worse than I’ve ever known and wanted no mercy! He was only to stop when he thought it might be dangerous to continue. I trust him totally and knew he would probably stop earlier than I really wanted.
He started in and that dog whip hurt bad, really bad. He took his time, but the blows just kept coming. Each unexpected lash felt like a knife cut to my skin! Soon my body was in intense pain. My nipples were swollen and felt like they had been severely burned. My tummy was clenching with each punishing lash. My inner thighs were on fire. And my pussy felt like it was bleeding. And still the whips kept coming! I’d been screaming for a good while when I began to beg and plead for mercy, for him to stop. But he whipped even harder then. I was screaming and begging and sobbing, all at once. I had never known such pain. I had never dreamt such pain.
I was trashing my body against the restraints, tears were streaming down my cheeks and sweat down my body and I didn’t know how I could take any more. But Master kept up the beating as I had asked him.
Finally, he stopped and removed my hood and kissed me gently. As he loosed my restraints, I almost fell to the floor, sobbing. He held me in his strong arms and went over to his easy chair and held me, cuddled on his lap. He gently stroked my hair and whispered comforting words in my ear. I hadn’t asked for that, but it was exactly what I needed. I must have sobbed there for an hour. The pain was terrible, but the sobbing was for my Da.
I am truly sorry to have left you all hanging for so long. However, there was just too much happening. I sincerely thank all who expressed their sympathy (Mr. Prefect forwarded them to me.) Especially Old Slave; you are so sweet – I love you!
Master drove us back home Sunday, yesterday, afternoon. He has been so strong and helpful throughout this. When we got to my place, I asked him to let me go in by myself.
He asked if there was anything he could do for me. I had been thinking about it during the whole two-hour drive and I answered, yes, there was. I would like a special dungeon day on Monday.
He was very surprised. However, after I explained what I wanted and why, he agreed. Then I detailed how I wanted it to be. He agreed for me to come over at noon and he would do just as I asked. The slave instructing the Master – strange, but what I needed right now.
I showed up at noon and we went straight to the basement. He stripped me slowly, appreciating as my slave’s body was gradually revealed (I love that thought).
He tied me tightly to the x-cross, facing out. He placed a hood over my head.
I had instructed that he use the dog whip on my front. That he was to punish all my front, my
breasts, belly, pussy and thighs. He was to ignore my cries or pleas for mercy. There would be no safe word. I wanted to be whipped worse than I’ve ever known and wanted no mercy! He was only to stop when he thought it might be dangerous to continue. I trust him totally and knew he would probably stop earlier than I really wanted.
He started in and that dog whip hurt bad, really bad. He took his time, but the blows just kept coming. Each unexpected lash felt like a knife cut to my skin! Soon my body was in intense pain. My nipples were swollen and felt like they had been severely burned. My tummy was clenching with each punishing lash. My inner thighs were on fire. And my pussy felt like it was bleeding. And still the whips kept coming! I’d been screaming for a good while when I began to beg and plead for mercy, for him to stop. But he whipped even harder then. I was screaming and begging and sobbing, all at once. I had never known such pain. I had never dreamt such pain.
I was trashing my body against the restraints, tears were streaming down my cheeks and sweat down my body and I didn’t know how I could take any more. But Master kept up the beating as I had asked him.
Finally, he stopped and removed my hood and kissed me gently. As he loosed my restraints, I almost fell to the floor, sobbing. He held me in his strong arms and went over to his easy chair and held me, cuddled on his lap. He gently stroked my hair and whispered comforting words in my ear. I hadn’t asked for that, but it was exactly what I needed. I must have sobbed there for an hour. The pain was terrible, but the sobbing was for my Da.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Master wrote me with an addendum to Dina's entry:
[M -I want to clarify something Dina wrote. She said there was no safe word. That is wrong. Dina has had a safe word since our second BDSM session. It is always there and I will immediately stop whatever I'm doing when she uses it. (She has only used it once which means either I'm too soft or she's too brave). What she said when she asked for the dungeon was that she wouldn't use it. That is of course her choice, but it didn't mean I would have ignored it. I must confess however, I rather enjoyed an unrestricted opportunity to beat her lovely fair body until it was bright red with whiplashes!]
{What he said, Ya! Master is so good at writing! - D}
[M -I want to clarify something Dina wrote. She said there was no safe word. That is wrong. Dina has had a safe word since our second BDSM session. It is always there and I will immediately stop whatever I'm doing when she uses it. (She has only used it once which means either I'm too soft or she's too brave). What she said when she asked for the dungeon was that she wouldn't use it. That is of course her choice, but it didn't mean I would have ignored it. I must confess however, I rather enjoyed an unrestricted opportunity to beat her lovely fair body until it was bright red with whiplashes!]
{What he said, Ya! Master is so good at writing! - D}
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
I had a quiet day today. I spent most of it (like last night) lying on my back in bed. I have SO many sore welts from the whipping!
I feel I should try to explain to you why I wanted that. Master understood when I told him (that’s why he’s Master - he understands me.)
From the moment my Ma called with the news, I was in a deep pit of guilt. My Da was dying and I had never really shown him any appreciation. I loved him so much!
I know he wasn’t a great father. But I always had a roof over my head and food and clothes and everything I really needed. And my Da worked fecking hard to provide that!
And I always knew that he loved me! He would always encourage me, even in the face of Ma’s disapproval. He never, EVER, made me feel like I was a wean he hadn’t wanted (like someone else often did)
But as a teenager I was a right chancer, a bampot, and I worried him terrible. With all the fight with Ma and me and then me moving out (not to mention his standing up for me then!), I never said how much I loved and appreciated him. And of course, I never did anything to pay him back. And now, broken by work (and drink), he was dying! I sat with him for an hour while he was semi-conscious, and told him how I loved him. But that was only shite for a whole life of love from him! It was all SO shan!
I know some people handle guilt by getting reeking all the time. But having seen Da’s life go down to drink, that wasn’t what I wanted. Some manage it by kicking the wench or the dog. Well, I’m the wench and I love dogs. I’m good at deep funks, but I’m tired of that, I want to grow up!
Then, on the drive back home on Sunday, the idea came to me! I’m a slave! This is what I was born to! If I was guilty, there is a way I could get punished, really punished! That’s why I asked for dungeon. Not for pleasure or sexual excitement (though I must confess, I was excited as he tied and hooded me, waiting for the lash!) Only a short time into the beating, all thoughts except pain and guilt were driven from my mind. I exalted in the suffering and punishment for neglecting my Da. I sobbed as much in guilt as pain. And Master’s comforting words and touch afterwards were wonderful.
I still know I wasn’t much of a daughter. But I’m free of that paralyzing guilt. And I’ve stopped sobbing!
I had a quiet day today. I spent most of it (like last night) lying on my back in bed. I have SO many sore welts from the whipping!
I feel I should try to explain to you why I wanted that. Master understood when I told him (that’s why he’s Master - he understands me.)
From the moment my Ma called with the news, I was in a deep pit of guilt. My Da was dying and I had never really shown him any appreciation. I loved him so much!
I know he wasn’t a great father. But I always had a roof over my head and food and clothes and everything I really needed. And my Da worked fecking hard to provide that!
And I always knew that he loved me! He would always encourage me, even in the face of Ma’s disapproval. He never, EVER, made me feel like I was a wean he hadn’t wanted (like someone else often did)
But as a teenager I was a right chancer, a bampot, and I worried him terrible. With all the fight with Ma and me and then me moving out (not to mention his standing up for me then!), I never said how much I loved and appreciated him. And of course, I never did anything to pay him back. And now, broken by work (and drink), he was dying! I sat with him for an hour while he was semi-conscious, and told him how I loved him. But that was only shite for a whole life of love from him! It was all SO shan!
I know some people handle guilt by getting reeking all the time. But having seen Da’s life go down to drink, that wasn’t what I wanted. Some manage it by kicking the wench or the dog. Well, I’m the wench and I love dogs. I’m good at deep funks, but I’m tired of that, I want to grow up!
Then, on the drive back home on Sunday, the idea came to me! I’m a slave! This is what I was born to! If I was guilty, there is a way I could get punished, really punished! That’s why I asked for dungeon. Not for pleasure or sexual excitement (though I must confess, I was excited as he tied and hooded me, waiting for the lash!) Only a short time into the beating, all thoughts except pain and guilt were driven from my mind. I exalted in the suffering and punishment for neglecting my Da. I sobbed as much in guilt as pain. And Master’s comforting words and touch afterwards were wonderful.
I still know I wasn’t much of a daughter. But I’m free of that paralyzing guilt. And I’ve stopped sobbing!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Wednesday, April 3, 2019
Master’s traveling (seeing his slave girl in every city, I tell him) and I’m recovered from the Dungeon, though a little soreness remains. Now that I’ve experienced a whipping like that, I’m anxious for another Dungeon Day to get all hot and wet from the whipping, whew! But not for at least a week. Shite!
It’s been a week since I cleaned, and the dust and dirty is piled sky high in my dump. So this
Sorry, after a long day cleaning, I’ve not got the energy to write anymore. See you tomorrow, chums!
Master’s traveling (seeing his slave girl in every city, I tell him) and I’m recovered from the Dungeon, though a little soreness remains. Now that I’ve experienced a whipping like that, I’m anxious for another Dungeon Day to get all hot and wet from the whipping, whew! But not for at least a week. Shite!
It’s been a week since I cleaned, and the dust and dirty is piled sky high in my dump. So this
Sorry, after a long day cleaning, I’ve not got the energy to write anymore. See you tomorrow, chums!
Letting her slave-dump get so dirty then not having strength to write her diary -
Master will not be pleased ...
(but then maybe that's the cunning plan
)
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
There was a blip in the email and a small part was lost. The middle paragraph should have read
It’s been a week since I cleaned, and the dust and dirt was piled sky high in my dump. So this was full-on cleaning day, top-to bottom. I got three buckets full out.
It’s been a week since I cleaned, and the dust and dirt was piled sky high in my dump. So this was full-on cleaning day, top-to bottom. I got three buckets full out.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
[M - It's nice to see that you readers out there care so much about Dina and wish her well! Did any of you sadist note the incredible Dungeon Day she just went through?]Letting her slave-dump get so dirty then not having strength to write her diary -
Master will not be pleased ...
(but then maybe that's the cunning plan
{It's OK. I'm actually anxious for another whipping! - D}
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Thursday, April 4, 2019
Slave position training day. We spent two hours on training, 3-5PM. 20 positions, 20 names and twenty hand signals! At the end, my back was sore, my neck was sore, my legs were sore and my tits and ass were REALLY sore.
You know I have a cracker memory for words, so the command name are fine. But my memory for precise body positions and hand signals is shite! And Master doesn’t accept “almost.” (nor should he, I am proud that he sets high standards for me!) So it seemed each position would earn two or three whacks with the riding crop for missing a signal or a bad position. Master especially likes to punish my chebs when I screw up. He says he likes to make them bounce.
Back on March 27, I wrote this just before I heard about my Da.
“I want you to understand how I feel about training. You know how being a prisoner or slave excites me, and how I get all excited by being whipped. But when Master’s training me, I don’t…”
I want to finish the idea. When Master trains me like today, I don’t enjoy, very much, being punished. You see, in training, punishment means I’ve failed, I’ve fallen short of what Master expects. That makes me sad and takes away from the enjoyment of the pain. More important to me than being hurt is being a good slave, that Master can be proud of. There’s no way to tell you how good it feels when I get two to three positions in a row right and Master praises me! It’s almost as good as a braw fecking! It’s why I’m a slave.
So, now you know. Next time I’ll tell you more of the awkward times we had getting fully together as Master and Slave.
Slave position training day. We spent two hours on training, 3-5PM. 20 positions, 20 names and twenty hand signals! At the end, my back was sore, my neck was sore, my legs were sore and my tits and ass were REALLY sore.
You know I have a cracker memory for words, so the command name are fine. But my memory for precise body positions and hand signals is shite! And Master doesn’t accept “almost.” (nor should he, I am proud that he sets high standards for me!) So it seemed each position would earn two or three whacks with the riding crop for missing a signal or a bad position. Master especially likes to punish my chebs when I screw up. He says he likes to make them bounce.
Back on March 27, I wrote this just before I heard about my Da.
“I want you to understand how I feel about training. You know how being a prisoner or slave excites me, and how I get all excited by being whipped. But when Master’s training me, I don’t…”
I want to finish the idea. When Master trains me like today, I don’t enjoy, very much, being punished. You see, in training, punishment means I’ve failed, I’ve fallen short of what Master expects. That makes me sad and takes away from the enjoyment of the pain. More important to me than being hurt is being a good slave, that Master can be proud of. There’s no way to tell you how good it feels when I get two to three positions in a row right and Master praises me! It’s almost as good as a braw fecking! It’s why I’m a slave.
So, now you know. Next time I’ll tell you more of the awkward times we had getting fully together as Master and Slave.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Friday, April 5, 2019
I was supposedly working all day. But I kept stopping to practice my postures. I’m going to learn them! When my Master says Table or moves his hand for that, I WILL become a table!
Back to our ‘courtship.’ After I discovered Master’s Nazi magazine and he confessed of his arousal at the idea of torturing girls, I needed some time to think. You see, though I had fantasized a lot about being a captive or tortured, I had never DONE anything. Except that little spanking which got me kicked out of my home (the second best thing that ever happened to me – bet you can guess the best!). And here I was faced with a man in real life, a man I had respected as mature and kind and smart and whom I was beginning to love, who got pleasure from dreaming of hurting girls like me. Was I ready to move toward something real? Could I trust him? Could I trust myself? I spent a week turning this over and over in my little brain, trying to know what I really wanted. Finally, I agreed to go for a walk with him. Fortunately, his ankle was healed.
I was supposedly working all day. But I kept stopping to practice my postures. I’m going to learn them! When my Master says Table or moves his hand for that, I WILL become a table!
Back to our ‘courtship.’ After I discovered Master’s Nazi magazine and he confessed of his arousal at the idea of torturing girls, I needed some time to think. You see, though I had fantasized a lot about being a captive or tortured, I had never DONE anything. Except that little spanking which got me kicked out of my home (the second best thing that ever happened to me – bet you can guess the best!). And here I was faced with a man in real life, a man I had respected as mature and kind and smart and whom I was beginning to love, who got pleasure from dreaming of hurting girls like me. Was I ready to move toward something real? Could I trust him? Could I trust myself? I spent a week turning this over and over in my little brain, trying to know what I really wanted. Finally, I agreed to go for a walk with him. Fortunately, his ankle was healed.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
FYI - illustration of "Table" position:
If his ankle still gives him trouble, he'll need a footrest ...