• This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn more.
  • Sign up or login, and you'll have full access to opportunities of forum.


Go to CruxDreams.com
Dec 9, 2014
Holland, MI, USA
Since I was a teenager, I have wanted to experience the pain and agony of crucifixion. I have been asking for a long time now for someone to put me up on a cross for a minimum of one hour, pain and suffering the full intent.

After all this time I've found a guy who has agreed to my terms. I'm set to be crucified over the Labor Day weekend here in the States. And today it hit me in the face.

I've spent a lot of time making sure he understands that I'm in this for the pain and suffering, not just the eroticism. I'e also made it painfully clear (pun intended) that when I say I want him to hang me on the cross for a minimum of one hour, that means 60 minutes or more - not 59 minutes. He's agreed wholeheartedly to that.

Today, I had to tell him that I'm beginning to feel like a condemned man. I'm beginning to feel and understand the thoughts that go through a condemned man's brain as he awaits his date with the wood. On one hand, since I know I'm not going to die on the cross, it's exciting to face it. But on the other hand, as I know that there is going to be pain involved, the likes of which I've never experience before, it's got me scared. The two feelings are mutually exclusive of each other, either.

As I counted down the days today (there are 51 days left until I make the trek), the realization hit me that I'm counting the days exactly as a condemned criminal would. And *THAT* sort of scares me and excites me even more.

There will be pictures of me hanging, at the very least. There may be a video if we can figure out how to do that.