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Hello, my friends! I (30M) would like to introduce myself!

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Deleted member 47625

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When I was a pre-pubescent child, I already had these BDSM fantasies. I didn't know why, but I had these fantasies. My fantasies revolved around my super hot MILF (I always liked older women) teacher. I imagined her tied up, whipped, showing her female features, her perfect breasts protruding, her ribs sticking out, her hairy armpits, etc. I actually imagined her crucified. I imagined her crucified even before I reached puberty. I was maybe 6 years old, no more. I wonder, is there somethign wrong with me?
 
Praetor said:
When I was a pre-pubescent child, I already had these BDSM fantasies. I didn't know why, but I had these fantasies. My fantasies revolved around my super hot MILF (I always liked older women) teacher. I imagined her tied up, whipped, showing her female features, her perfect breasts protruding, her ribs sticking out, her hairy armpits, etc. I actually imagined her crucified. I imagined her crucified even before I reached puberty. I was maybe 6 years old, no more. I wonder, is there somethign wrong with me?
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You are perfectly normal! :thumbsup:
(at least, to my standards) :loko2:
 
Loxuru said:
My avatar lady appreciates your appreciation! :D:zlumi:

Here is the backstory of it :
https://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/avatars-explained.7063/page-2#post-410966

(the pic has been slightly altered since).
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Thank you for the background info!
I can absolutely understand how you felt about it being the only picture available of a crucified female. As a kid, I would have given much for a similar pic! I did grow up with the internet, but it wasn't available to me (privately) until I was around 14, so I, too, used to eroticize certain school book pictures. I was too ashamed to actively eroticize Jesus' crucifixion, but I remember seeing a picture of Spartacus' crucifixion, which was the first time I saw a "mundane" crucifixion, and I got so horny imagining women (and sometimes also myself) being crucified instead that it fuled my fantasies for years to come.
 
Praetor said:
When I was a pre-pubescent child, I already had these BDSM fantasies. I didn't know why, but I had these fantasies. My fantasies revolved around my super hot MILF (I always liked older women) teacher. I imagined her tied up, whipped, showing her female features, her perfect breasts protruding, her ribs sticking out, her hairy armpits, etc. I actually imagined her crucified. I imagined her crucified even before I reached puberty. I was maybe 6 years old, no more. I wonder, is there somethign wrong with me?
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And did you - at later age for instance - fantasise about being crucified next to these gorgeous MILF teachers?
 
Loxuru said:
And did you - at later age for instance - fantasise about being crucified next to these gorgeous MILF teachers?
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It's a bit complicated. I went to a Catholic elementary school, which confronted me early on with the topic of crucifixion. I remember a female teacher of ours telling us the most gruesome details of crucifixion (which, in retrospect, were very accurate, which makes me wonder if she had a deeper than normal interest in this topic, if you know what I mean ;) ). I remember that I vividly imagined myself being crucified. At first, the idea terrified me, but for some reason, I developed a strange morbid fantasy, so I kept pondering about it. I had sexual (including, or even mostly BDSM) thoughts even before my puberty, but crucifixion was not one of those back then (Edit: although in retrospect, I think it probably was very sexual, but I didn't realise it back then). It kept terrifying me until much later, when I started to realize how beautiful the female body looks on a cross. Nowadays, I like to imagine that I'm crucified next to beautiful women.
 
Welcome to CruxForums, Praetor. I read your exchange with Loxuru with interest. I have had many conversations with other members, and I can tell you that you're not alone. Many members here are or were Catholic, and many, regardless of religious beliefs, have had a fascination with bondage and crucifixion since childhood. So don't think it to be unusual.
 
Praetor said:
It's a bit complicated. I went to a Catholic elementary school, which confronted me early on with the topic of crucifixion. I remember a female teacher of ours telling us the most gruesome details of crucifixion (which, in retrospect, were very accurate, which makes me wonder if she had a deeper than normal interest in this topic, if you know what I mean ;) ). I remember that I vividly imagined myself being crucified. At first, the idea terrified me, but for some reason, I developed a strange morbid fantasy, so I kept pondering about it. I had sexual (including, or even mostly BDSM) thoughts even before my puberty, but crucifixion was not one of those back then (Edit: although in retrospect, I think it probably was very sexual, but I didn't realise it back then). It kept terrifying me until much later, when I started to realize how beautiful the female body looks on a cross. Nowadays, I like to imagine that I'm crucified next to beautiful women.
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To be crucified among beautiful women is a common fantasy here. And your story rings true for all of us! Early childhood exposure with a kinky mind.
 
Yes! that kinky stuff was exciting, even before you knew what arousal was about! And I bet, all were smart enough to understand, you better kept those kinky thoughts for yourself!
 
Praetor said:
It's a bit complicated. I went to a Catholic elementary school, which confronted me early on with the topic of crucifixion. I remember a female teacher of ours telling us the most gruesome details of crucifixion (which, in retrospect, were very accurate, which makes me wonder if she had a deeper than normal interest in this topic, if you know what I mean ;) ). I remember that I vividly imagined myself being crucified. At first, the idea terrified me, but for some reason, I developed a strange morbid fantasy, so I kept pondering about it. I had sexual (including, or even mostly BDSM) thoughts even before my puberty, but crucifixion was not one of those back then (Edit: although in retrospect, I think it probably was very sexual, but I didn't realise it back then). It kept terrifying me until much later, when I started to realize how beautiful the female body looks on a cross. Nowadays, I like to imagine that I'm crucified next to beautiful women.
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Was it more the cruel details as invented by Mel Gibsons movie or more like she was visiting a S/M club to often, instead of preparing her lessons....
 
dfg42 said:
Was it more the cruel details as invented by Mel Gibsons movie or more like she was visiting a S/M club to often, instead of preparing her lessons....
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By details I especially mean how she knew exactly what kind of effects which kind of crucifixion would have. How different positions affected weight distribution and what the Romans did to play around with that. I think that's pretty detailed for an elementary school teacher.
 
Praetor said:
By details I especially mean how she knew exactly what kind of effects which kind of crucifixion would have. How different positions affected weight distribution and what the Romans did to play around with that. I think that's pretty detailed for an elementary school teacher.
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Was this teacher a nun by any chance? You remind me of my parochial school days.
 
Praetor said:
By details I especially mean how she knew exactly what kind of effects which kind of crucifixion would have. How different positions affected weight distribution and what the Romans did to play around with that. I think that's pretty detailed for an elementary school teacher.
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that is interesting, so she did some research on it. I know that indeed this was officially studied. Probably one could say, a specially gifted teacher, not many exist like this.
 
dfg42 said:
that is interesting, so she did some research on it. I know that indeed this was officially studied. Probably one could say, a specially gifted teacher, not many exist like this.
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I don't know her motivation, but I like to think that she had a "deeper" interest in this topic. ;)
After all, "normal" people don't go as deep into this topic as people like us, if you know what I mean. ;)
 
mp5stab said:
But it does makes sense to ask! Nuns are really a fun fantasy, especially with regards to crucifixion. Chastity makes the violation more meaningful.
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I know exactly what you mean! A friend of mine, a woman I once dated, became a nun. This fact makes my fantasies about her extremely intense. Especially because I know about her past. ;)
 
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