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Male Female Interaction in the Group

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willowfall

willowfall

Senator
Hello Gentlemen;

I've been debating for a while if I should post this or not. I'm sure those of you who know me are not surprised I came down on the side of opening my big mouth.

But it is in the cause of fostering better intersex relations.

And I don't speak for any woman but myself.

Recently, I have been contacted by a couple of guys, who wanted to talk and other things, from here in the group thru PM. I've got absolutely no problem with that. Everybody who knows me, knows I love to interact and play. So far so good.

But I think there are things that you should all be aware of.

Cruxforums is not a dating app. I am honored that you find me interesting enough to want to talk to me and think that you “love” me but I have no interest in being your sex slave or meeting you to help you fulfill your fantasies. Go ahead and ask if you wish (who knows I may change my mind) but be grownup about it when I say no.

Don't ask for personal identifying information, I have been stalked in RL once already because of being in the old Yahoo Crux group it is not an experience I wish to repeat. I don't use my real name on the internet so that I have anonymity. And for God's sake DON'T ask for pictures, naked and otherwise, I have no intention of being the next internet poster girl. I have over the years given my likeness to artists I know will be discreet with it. If I come to trust you that much, and I think you have talent, I'll make the offer.

I have no problem chatting with you about your fantasies. But understand I may not share them or even understand them. That doesn't make them wrong they just don't interest me the way they interest you.

But let's say we become interested in deeply discussing a particular fantasy. I generally find women are more intellectually stimulated about fantasies than visually (don't get me wrong we love a well put together guy, if we are wired to like men) stimulated so don't send me unsolicited pictures of yourself.

Write to me, describe a scene or a situation, let me fill in what you look like, I'll build a scene around our interactions. If you can stimulate me intellectually, I'll stay engaged.

(On a complete side note, if you want to do something visual come see me in Second Life, we can play real hard then.)

Oh, and I have nothing against it, in fact I enjoy it, but stop getting your 'facts of life' about BDSM from porn. I am not your slave because you can smack me around (Hell I've got 4 brothers who could probably smack most of you around) or scream curses at me. If all you want is to torment and execute me, then yeah, porn isn't a bad representation.

But if you want me to be your willing submissive there is a real good chance that I will be submissive to you if I find you have an intellect worthy of being admired. True slavery is of the mind, not physical force, I know I'm submissive in RL but only to people whom I admire and respect.

I'm not complaining but often women don't really get engaged in groups like this because some idiot unknowingly screws up. Consider the above a life lesson to help you not screw up.

kisses

willowfall

ps: Mods I wasn't sure where to post this. Move it if you wish.
 
willowfall said:
Hello Gentlemen;

I've been debating for a while if I should post this or not. I'm sure those of you who know me are not surprised I came down on the side of opening my big mouth.

But it is in the cause of fostering better intersex relations.

And I don't speak for any woman but myself.

Recently, I have been contacted by a couple of guys, who wanted to talk and other things, from here in the group thru PM. I've got absolutely no problem with that. Everybody who knows me, knows I love to interact and play. So far so good.

But I think there are things that you should all be aware of.

Cruxforums is not a dating app. I am honored that you find me interesting enough to want to talk to me and think that you “love” me but I have no interest in being your sex slave or meeting you to help you fulfill your fantasies. Go ahead and ask if you wish (who knows I may change my mind) but be grownup about it when I say no.

Don't ask for personal identifying information, I have been stalked in RL once already because of being in the old Yahoo Crux group it is not an experience I wish to repeat. I don't use my real name on the internet so that I have anonymity. And for God's sake DON'T ask for pictures, naked and otherwise, I have no intention of being the next internet poster girl. I have over the years given my likeness to artists I know will be discreet with it. If I come to trust you that much, and I think you have talent, I'll make the offer.

I have no problem chatting with you about your fantasies. But understand I may not share them or even understand them. That doesn't make them wrong they just don't interest me the way they interest you.

But let's say we become interested in deeply discussing a particular fantasy. I generally find women are more intellectually stimulated about fantasies than visually (don't get me wrong we love a well put together guy, if we are wired to like men) stimulated so don't send me unsolicited pictures of yourself.

Write to me, describe a scene or a situation, let me fill in what you look like, I'll build a scene around our interactions. If you can stimulate me intellectually, I'll stay engaged.

(On a complete side note, if you want to do something visual come see me in Second Life, we can play real hard then.)

Oh, and I have nothing against it, in fact I enjoy it, but stop getting your 'facts of life' about BDSM from porn. I am not your slave because you can smack me around (Hell I've got 4 brothers who could probably smack most of you around) or scream curses at me. If all you want is to torment and execute me, then yeah, porn isn't a bad representation.

But if you want me to be your willing submissive there is a real good chance that I will be submissive to you if I find you have an intellect worthy of being admired. True slavery is of the mind, not physical force, I know I'm submissive in RL but only to people whom I admire and respect.

I'm not complaining but often women don't really get engaged in groups like this because some idiot unknowingly screws up. Consider the above a life lesson to help you not screw up.

kisses

willowfall

ps: Mods I wasn't sure where to post this. Move it if you wish.
Click to expand...

Well said. I like the message and the spirited delivery too :);)
 
An important message, thank you, Willow.

Any member that feels that they are being harassed, or receiving unwelcome attention from any other member(s) may, in addition to 'ignoring' the perpetrator, report them to the moderators. We will warn or ban the offender as appropriate.

I for one am highly appreciative of the contributions of the girls on this site, and would be alarmed about anything or anyone acting in ways to make this site less welcoming to our female members, or indeed any member who comes here for the fun, fantasy, and enjoyment offered by these forums.
 
There's advice in our 'Welcome to Members' pack that is worth repeating here:

Dating

I'd like to get to know an individual member better, can I invite him/ her to get in touch?

Yes, you can. But CruxForums is not a dating site. So make contact by sending a polite Private Message. Don't use public threads or members' profile pages.

How do I send a Private Message? Just click on the member's avatar, an 'ID card' appears, click on 'start a conversation'.

What if I receive an invitation from another member to get to know them better? Of course, whether you accept or refuse is up to you. But be careful. We strongly advise you not to send photos of yourself , email address or any other personal details, even if they've sent (what they say are) theirs, until you're sure you can trust the correspondent. Use PMs till
you're quite sure.

If you accept such an invitation and then something happens that makes you regret it, pull out quick, take the advice given below, and let us know what's happened.

What can I do if I send a member an invitation and s/he refuses? Nothing. End of story.

Pestering will not be tolerated.

Pestering and Stalking

What should I do if I see a post on an open thread that I find offensive?

Report it. Just click 'report' at the bottom left of the post. A window will appear where you can add a comment if you wish, then click to send in the report. Moderators will investigate, we may or may not agree that action is needed, but we'll let you know what we decide to do.

What should I do if I get a post on my Profile Page that I find offensive, or I just don't want?
  1. Report it, as above.
  2. Delete it.
  3. If you don't want any more attention from the member who's sent it, go to his/ her Profile Page (click on their avatar, then click 'Profile Page'), then click Ignore at top right. This will block that member from posting on your Profile or sending you PMs.
What should I do if I get a Private Message that I find offensive or I just don't want?
  1. Report it, as above.
  2. Click Leave Conversation at top right of the conversation thread.
  3. Ignore the member who sent it, as above.
What should I do if I'm worried or unhappy about anything that's happening on CruxForums?

Send a Private Message to one (or more) of the moderators – ImageMaker, Melissa, Erin the Brave, Eulalia, Admihoek, Helmut, The Hanging Tree, Barbaria, Madiosi, or Wragg. Find one of our avatars, click on it, on the ID card that appears click on 'Start a Conversation'.

No member of CruxForums should have to put up with offensive behaviour, unwanted attention or stalking.

Any member who posts offensively, or pesters or stalks another member, will be banned.

There's more information, including advice on privacy settings at:
http://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/welcome-to-new-members.6101/post-314119
 
Eulalia said:
So make contact by sending a polite Private Message. Don't use public threads or members' profile pages.
Click to expand...

Some emphasis should be placed on the second line above. Posting on a member’s profile page is not a private communication. It’s visible to all members. I often see messages posted in this way that were probably meant to be private. Only private messages (PMs) are truly private.
 
Well said Willowfall. All members should be able to wander the halls here (so to speak), free from unwanted interactions or harassment. There are guys who do not like to be told "no", or who react ungraciously if a woman turns them down. We do not need that sort of thing.

Thanks for speaking up. flower3
 
All that is well said , of course ... I agree with willow , never I wish to meet somebody of CF in RL , I've what I desire at home and I dont think that I could find better ...

Concerning any problem of harassment , never I have had ; if sometimes a member in PM was starting to obtain more than I want to show of me , I quickly stop the conversation and generally, no more is happening ; but, for a woman here, I think that she does well know what she's searching and have limits that the others do respect : so, I engage you, women, for having a clear vision of all your motivations in coming to CF and you'll certainly be in a quiet spirit sharing with the others ...

All that, of course, dont impede for having some provocations (all people knowing me , and I'm well known at CF, could see that from time to time I adore to provoke , mainly the males:D) but you do have your own limits to be sure that there will not be any "skid" !

Anyway, if the rules are respected , and I think that generally they're , we could continue for a long time to reach all the pleasure that we wish at CF !

:clapping::clapping::clapping: Your Messa
 
Funny. I just advised a young chap who frequents this community with a female named profile and who sought real life meeting not to be pushy and over-focussed. My girl friend sometimes shows me pushy messages from males from a sex dating app (we're pretty liberal folks, open to meet new friends): Those reflect some kind of "urgency" and lack of interest in her as a person. "Fulfill my wish to fuck" - or (here): "Serve my crux-kink!"
Well... how about doing things in the usual order: 1) get to know, 2) eventually do crux play together?

I have happily met with a man and a woman from cruxforums in real life.

We just wrote a couple of times, exchanged phone numbers, chit-chat, bought flight tickets... and the result is what you see as my profile picture: Few times together on crosses - next to very nice downtown dinings, chatting about life etc..
Before that, I had also met US Americans (myself being from Europe), and I very much enjoyed the trip to Texas for all the vacation-stuff, Houston BDSM scene party and that crux play in my friends' "garden" - with 2 miles between neighbours.

However, for the majority of people (almost all of which men), the internet is no longer means of communication but a way to live life behind a screen. Well, that's alright (though to me movies like "The Matrix" had always been dystopias). I personally do not waste time jerking off in front of a computer screen (and call it "sex life"), but go out and meet people, talk about life and passions ...and sometimes mention my crux kink, such as on BDSM events. I met my girl friend through a vanilla dating app, and on our first meeting she actually mentioned her plan to attend a BDSM party - whereupon I told her about my hook suspension, BDSM etc. in the past... and so we went to that party and I put her on a Spanish Horse and carressed and kissed her by which she got and enjoyed orgasms - and learned about a new (masochistic) side of her sexuality.
When I mention and explain my kink, some men and women get attracked by the idea of crux-play; so we just arrange things and play - the same way we say: "Hey, let's do a tracking tour next weekend or go to see that standup comedian."
My Austrian friend's girl-friend had a kink to be "burried in a grave", so she enacted that for her, building a box for the head with oxygen tube etc. and letting her "dig her own grave" on the international summer BDSM camp (SISC) in Denmark. Different people, different kinks.

Internet's promise to bring together people has not been fulfilled. It is rather the opposite: Shy people, particularly men, often with no sex life at all (other than masturbation), have settled themselves into this "life" of consumtion (porn), and the ability of human interaction is degenerating progressively. That is a nice trap, is it not? A late Dutch-German sex researcher concluded about the internet that his country was "becoming a masturbation society" - and he died 9 years ago.

And, by the way, I consider 99.9% of profiles in this community registered by men.
Always funny, when we get approached by a "woman", agree to get in touch, and - after enthusiastic writing - "she" realises that at one point "she" will have to show "herself" by a phone call or meeting in a public place. "Oops." - Kindergarten!
"I cannot give my private phone" (...so I never really want to meet people?) - "No prob. Get yourself a skype account that you can dump again, if needed" - "Em... I have no microphone" ...and so on, and so on, and so on...
 
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Yeah I've had a few private conversations with both men and women.....(you know who you are.... ;) )
Most of the time the chats are friendly enough,but I have had one or two weirdos...(which of course I've deleted) so,one has to be careful about what is disclosed... :(
Of course I'm ALWAYS happy to discuss my kinky,outrageous,thoughts and ideas with like-minded people.....(within reason),it goes without saying..... ;)
Safe crux and chat sensibly.
 
willowfall said:
Hello Gentlemen;

I've been debating for a while if I should post this or not. I'm sure those of you who know me are not surprised I came down on the side of opening my big mouth.

But it is in the cause of fostering better intersex relations.

And I don't speak for any woman but myself.

Recently, I have been contacted by a couple of guys, who wanted to talk and other things, from here in the group thru PM. I've got absolutely no problem with that. Everybody who knows me, knows I love to interact and play. So far so good.

But I think there are things that you should all be aware of.

Cruxforums is not a dating app. I am honored that you find me interesting enough to want to talk to me and think that you “love” me but I have no interest in being your sex slave or meeting you to help you fulfill your fantasies. Go ahead and ask if you wish (who knows I may change my mind) but be grownup about it when I say no.

Don't ask for personal identifying information, I have been stalked in RL once already because of being in the old Yahoo Crux group it is not an experience I wish to repeat. I don't use my real name on the internet so that I have anonymity. And for God's sake DON'T ask for pictures, naked and otherwise, I have no intention of being the next internet poster girl. I have over the years given my likeness to artists I know will be discreet with it. If I come to trust you that much, and I think you have talent, I'll make the offer.

I have no problem chatting with you about your fantasies. But understand I may not share them or even understand them. That doesn't make them wrong they just don't interest me the way they interest you.

But let's say we become interested in deeply discussing a particular fantasy. I generally find women are more intellectually stimulated about fantasies than visually (don't get me wrong we love a well put together guy, if we are wired to like men) stimulated so don't send me unsolicited pictures of yourself.

Write to me, describe a scene or a situation, let me fill in what you look like, I'll build a scene around our interactions. If you can stimulate me intellectually, I'll stay engaged.

(On a complete side note, if you want to do something visual come see me in Second Life, we can play real hard then.)

Oh, and I have nothing against it, in fact I enjoy it, but stop getting your 'facts of life' about BDSM from porn. I am not your slave because you can smack me around (Hell I've got 4 brothers who could probably smack most of you around) or scream curses at me. If all you want is to torment and execute me, then yeah, porn isn't a bad representation.

But if you want me to be your willing submissive there is a real good chance that I will be submissive to you if I find you have an intellect worthy of being admired. True slavery is of the mind, not physical force, I know I'm submissive in RL but only to people whom I admire and respect.

I'm not complaining but often women don't really get engaged in groups like this because some idiot unknowingly screws up. Consider the above a life lesson to help you not screw up.

kisses

willowfall

ps: Mods I wasn't sure where to post this. Move it if you wish.
Click to expand...

Well said . I enjoy this site very much and have made several good friends who understand this is a place for fantasy .
 
Thank you for all the support and comments.

For the sake of clarity none of the gentleman involved 'harassed' me (and even if they had I can handle it). But the exchanges finished badly, I know they walked away unsatisfied and potentially a less confident woman may have felt harassed.

Guys all I want you to do is think about what you want to involve the woman in, look at it from her point of view, get her involved intellectually on a friendly basis before you make suggestions.

If you're one of those guys who asks halfway thru a first date "Wanna fuck?" I can explain to you in short simple words why you never get any. But ........

So when you approach the ladies on this board (and we have some fascinating ladies here) approach them with respect and look to get them interested in you before you ask "Wanna ......". And when you do ask be a gentleman about it. Honestly, in RL, the dominants I find the most interesting are the ones who don't put on the full court press but the ones who after talking to them I want them to be in control because I think it would be a lot of fun.

And like I said if you want to "do" something to me, come out to SL. I know some pretty wild sites that are no holds barred.

kisses

willowfall
 
Thanks again Willowfall for starting this thread, and all the contributors too -
in the Staff Forum we've decided it's important enough to move it into 'Announcements' -
I'll set a permanent redirect so nobody should lose it.
 
willowfall said:
And like I said if you want to "do" something to me, come out to SL. I know some pretty wild sites that are no holds barred.
Click to expand...

But at SL , the harassment exists too ! I was recently on a nude beach and was called by men (sometimes 2 or 3 in the same time) ! Then I was obliged to leave the sim ...:( ... and I was even not yet nude !
 
cruzifer said:
And, by the way, I consider 99.9% of profiles in this community registered by men.
Always funny, when we get approached by a "woman", agree to get in touch, and - after enthusiastic writing - "she" realises that at one point "she" will have to show "herself" by a phone call or meeting in a public place. "Oops." - Kindergarten!
"I cannot give my private phone" (...so I never really want to meet people?) - "No prob. Get yourself a skype account that you can dump again, if needed" - "Em... I have no microphone" ...and so on, and so on, and so on...
Click to expand...

Have you never thought that they could be really women but that what they're searching at CF wasn't meeting (RL) but Fantasy'meeting where they could go to the worst fake (dead) through the worst tortures and so, reach in fantasy what they never will do in RL , of course ?
If I'm going to CF and SL (Second Life) , it's also for that : I take much pleasure to see me (through my avatar ) nailed to a cross or receiving a harsh whipping or other tortures among the worst of them !
In my opinion, CF is in first a fantasy'site and not a meeting'site ...
Dont generalize in telling that if people are declining all RL'meetings it's because they're men hidden under a female identity ...
 
messaline said:
But at SL , the harassment exists too ! I was recently on a nude beach and was called by men (sometimes 2 or 3 in the same time) ! Then I was obliged to leave the sim ...:( ... and I was even not yet nude !
Click to expand...

Unfortunately love there are jerks everywhere. It's just a fact of life, there are jerks, we are sexually interesting, the jerks are interested in us and they don't know how NOT to be jerks,

I usually blame their parents for not raising them right.

That being said, some of the areas I play in are appropriate for the type of behavior exhibited and since I voluntarily go into those ares to play I am expecting interactions which can be both violent and demeaning. If I don't want those interactions I need to stay out of those areas.

That doesn't excuse what happens in non-bdsm public sims.

kisses

willowfall
 
messaline said:
Have you never thought that they could be really women but that what they're searching at CF wasn't meeting (RL) but Fantasy'meeting where they could go to the worst fake (dead) through the worst tortures and so, reach in fantasy what they never will do in RL , of course ?
If I'm going to CF and SL (Second Life) , it's also for that : I take much pleasure to see me (through my avatar ) nailed to a cross or receiving a harsh whipping or other tortures among the worst of them !
In my opinion, CF is in first a fantasy'site and not a meeting'site ...
Dont generalize in telling that if people are declining all RL'meetings it's because they're men hidden under a female identity ...
Click to expand...

Cruzifer you are just plain old wrong in this and Messaline is right. I have both a RL love and BDSM life. I am not here to meet some guy. I am here to partake in fantasies I can't have in RL, have some great theoretical conversations and to view art\literature on a subject that I find fascinating but is damn near taboo in polite society. My Mistress is not into crux and if she was there is no way in RL to simulate nailing.

And just because I flirt with you (I flirt with everybody) that doesn't mean I want your body, to meet you, have you baby or have you torture me. I flirt with you because flirting is fun, normal and healthy.

And I have been stalked in RL because of online interactions.

And no I am not saying every "woman" out here is actually genetically a woman. There are a lot of posers, you are right on that.

But don't equate not wanting to talk on the phone or meet is because I'm a 'dude'. It means I like my privacy and I want to keep it.

I do eDiscovery for a living. I know many people making a 'mistake' who have had their life ruined for a moments indiscretion. What hits the internet lives on forever no matter what the EU may think or try to do about the subject.

kisses

willowfall
 
Female profiles.

Some 'real' i.e they are women, some probably online personas of men.

It is probable that some very real women are not as young or attractive as their online fantasy persona ( who would have thought... ).

They could be a 75 year old wheelchair user with the persona of a twenty something warrior woman.

Nothing wrong with that.

I'm not a crux obsessed serial killer either ( you'll be glad to know)

Its fantasy, and many people enjoy taking the idea of meeting right to the edge, but when it comes to it, don't want to risk their relationship or privacy.

There's at least one member here who I have interacted with, and indicated that I would love meet up and them have their way with me.

In reality, I would probably chicken out at the last minute too!

And for those who don't know, I am male, posting as male.
 
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