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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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For us old'uns


An elderly man went to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor
examined him and said: 'I'm afraid you have a serious heart murmur.'
The old man was shocked by the news. 'Tell me,' said the doctor. 'Do
you smoke?' 'No.' 'Do you drink to excess?' 'No.' 'Do you still have a
sex life?' 'Yes.I do.' 'Well, I'm sorry, but with your heart condition
you'll have to give up half your sex life.' 'Which half?' asked the
old man. 'The looking or the thinking?'.


An old man of ninety-one was sitting on a park bench crying. A passing
police officer came over to ask him what was the matter. 'You see,'
said the old man,'I just got married to a twenty-five-year-old girl.
Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love.'
The policeman said: 'You shouldn't be crying! You should be the
happiest man in the world' 'I know!' said the old man. 'I'm crying
because I can't remember where I live'

An elderly couple were discussing their future plans. The husband
asked: 'What will you do if I die before you?' After some thought, she
said: 'I will probably look for a house sharing situation with three
other single or widowed women. And since I'm active for my age, I'll
go for ladies who are a little younger than me. What about you?
What will you do if I die first?' He replied: 'Probably the same.'
 
old slave said:
For us old'uns

An elderly man went to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor
examined him and said: 'I'm afraid you have a serious heart murmur.'
The old man was shocked by the news. 'Tell me,' said the doctor. 'Do
you smoke?' 'No.' 'Do you drink to excess?' 'No.' 'Do you still have a
sex life?' 'Yes.I do.' 'Well, I'm sorry, but with your heart condition
you'll have to give up half your sex life.' 'Which half?' asked the
old man. 'The looking or the thinking?'.


An old man of ninety-one was sitting on a park bench crying. A passing
police officer came over to ask him what was the matter. 'You see,'
said the old man,'I just got married to a twenty-five-year-old girl.
Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love.'
The policeman said: 'You shouldn't be crying! You should be the
happiest man in the world' 'I know!' said the old man. 'I'm crying
because I can't remember where I live'

An elderly couple were discussing their future plans. The husband
asked: 'What will you do if I die before you?' After some thought, she
said: 'I will probably look for a house sharing situation with three
other single or widowed women. And since I'm active for my age, I'll
go for ladies who are a little younger than me. What about you?
What will you do if I die first?' He replied: 'Probably the same.'
Click to expand...
old slave said:
For us old'uns

An elderly man went to the doctor for his annual physical. The doctor
examined him and said: 'I'm afraid you have a serious heart murmur.'
The old man was shocked by the news. 'Tell me,' said the doctor. 'Do
you smoke?' 'No.' 'Do you drink to excess?' 'No.' 'Do you still have a
sex life?' 'Yes.I do.' 'Well, I'm sorry, but with your heart condition
you'll have to give up half your sex life.' 'Which half?' asked the
old man. 'The looking or the thinking?'.


An old man of ninety-one was sitting on a park bench crying. A passing
police officer came over to ask him what was the matter. 'You see,'
said the old man,'I just got married to a twenty-five-year-old girl.
Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast, then we make love.
At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love.'
The policeman said: 'You shouldn't be crying! You should be the
happiest man in the world' 'I know!' said the old man. 'I'm crying
because I can't remember where I live'

An elderly couple were discussing their future plans. The husband
asked: 'What will you do if I die before you?' After some thought, she
said: 'I will probably look for a house sharing situation with three
other single or widowed women. And since I'm active for my age, I'll
go for ladies who are a little younger than me. What about you?
What will you do if I die first?' He replied: 'Probably the same.'
Click to expand...
Two old veterans of the War were chewing the fat when said to the other, "You remember all that bromide they used to put in tea to suppress our urges?"
"What about it?" says his mate, "Well I think its beginning to work."
 
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