sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
I also am apprecative of this anecdote.
Variation on that theme:
What's the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby?
Bing Sings but Walt Disney.
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Now This Just Isn't Funny
- Thread starter admihoek
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Variation on that theme:
What's the difference between Walt Disney and Bing Crosby?
Bing Sings but Walt Disney.
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
Ego Stipes Ergo Sum
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sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
And another courtesy of the same source:
"Who're you calling passive/aggressive?"
Ego Stipes Ergo Sum"Who're you calling passive/aggressive?"
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
If you can write like that,
When all around you are writing pap,
You must be Eul, my girl.
Another variation:
"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs...
It's just possible you haven't grasped the situation."
sympazero2
Cruciformae Studiosus
I close my eyes on the evolution of swear words and
I swear I'm listening to Peter Cook and Dudley Moore!
Or better still, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks (the 2000-yr-old Man)
on the evolution of cheese(!) and applause.
Brooks on history's greatest invention: the Thermos! ('Flask' to you Brits)
Reiner: "Why is the Thermos history's greatest invention?"
2000-Yr-Old Man: "You put in hot, you get hot. You put in cold, you get cold...
How does it KNOW?"
ShadowWolf
Tribune
Mel Brooks is one of the best comedians I have ever come across. The movies he made were wonderful.
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her little son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard.
The woman's husband then comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here..'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it ?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '£150'
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy - '£250'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I've sold my ball and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy - '£400'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that again, you little sod. You're in MY cupboard now.'
Her little son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard.
The woman's husband then comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here..'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it ?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '£150'
A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy - '£250'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I've sold my ball and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy - '£400'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that again, you little sod. You're in MY cupboard now.'
I suspect the Vatican will fall to see the humor in this one, but I thought it was pretty funny!
And what would be the Holy See's problem? The priest isn’t doing the boy, after all.
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Monitored by the Holy Spirit?
Marcius
Tribune
Now who's the patron saint of CCTV?I wish I had a photo of what I once saw in a French church,
two notices, one above the other:
CONFESSIONAL
SURVEILLANCE PAR VIDEO
Oddly, and in all seriousness, it's probably St. Clare. She was apparent ill and unable to go to Mass, but was miraculously able to see and hear it projected on the wall of her room.Now who's the patron saint of CCTV?
And so, she became the Patron Saint of Television. One does wonder about the Vatican's notions of how exciting and interesting the Mass actually is. Here we have poor Clare, too sick to actually get up, make tea, go out, or get crucified herself, and what does she do? She watches mass on her miracle wall. Would she still be Saint if God and the Holy Angels had broadcast the latest gladiator fights or the chariot races. I mean, that would still be pretty miraculous.
I'm puzzling over the Real Presence - was He really there in her cell?
Is He really there in a Mass viewed on TV?
Perhaps the Vatican needs to promulgate a doctrine of the Virtually Real Presence?
I think the answer must be no. If the Real Presence is a physical reality then it is not something that can be transmitted over a TV broadcast. You can witness it but not fully experience it.
I'm sure there must be theologians who have thrashed this one out already, but most of us are not up to speed on it! Now I'm curious to know the official answer!
This is not something I've ever considered before, and this site is such an unlikely place to spark that question, it just shows how wide the discussion and thought can get around here sometimes.
In the jokes section of the forums, you mean?
But seriously, why could the presence not be transmitted via some sort of Star Trek like transporter. It is broadcast, and yet physical. Frankly, that's exactly the sort of reasoning that comes out of the Vatican all the time. It would be interesting to see the official position.