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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Explanations for us old'uns. Young'uns note what will happen sooner than you think.

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
 
old slave said:
Explanations for us old'uns. Young'uns note what will happen sooner than you think.

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
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And God decided that seniors of the male sex would continue to be aroused - yea, even as in the days of their youth - by the sight of nubile young women hanging naked on crosses, so in His wisdom He inspired ImageMaker, Makar and friends to create CruxForums, thus providing more exercise for seniors' still working parts. And God looked down and saw that it was very good, and signed up Himself. :devil:
 
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A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with the maid so she laid down a trap.

One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell the husband.

That night the husband gave the old story: "Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches," and went to the bathroom.

The wife promptly went into the maid's bed and switched the lights off.

When the husband came in silently, he wasted no time or words but quickly got down to business.

When he finished and was still panting, the wife said: "You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?"

Then she switched on the light... "No madam," said the gardener.
 
A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex and he prefers nights out with the lads.

Her friend tells her that to win his love she must make more effort and advises her to cook a slap-up meal and then send him drinking with his pals down the pub. When he returns she must be dressed in her naughtiest lingerie and look her most beautiful.

The following evening, she does exactly as instructed and is dressed to kill by the time her husband returns.

When he sees her lying on the bed in all her gear, he tells her to stand up and take it all off. He then tells her to do a handstand against the bathroom mirror and open her legs. This excites the woman immensely, as her husband has never been this erotic before.

She does as instructed, and then he puts his face between her legs, faces the mirror and says, 'No, no ... Maybe the lads are right. A beard wouldn't suit me.'
 
connoisseurs said:
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Barbaria1 said:
Them’s dangerous... or foolhardy... words :confused:
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What are we talking about when we say "endurance" here? I think this was her mistake - not clarifying the concepts. She seems to have dared someone. Once she is in the position on the right, endurance becomes academic, because there's no way she can free herself from that. She will "endure" as long as it takes for her to either get released by her "captor" or die.:rolleyes::confused::doh: In this sense, "endurance" is only meaningful here if there is an agreed safe word, and she can signal the end of the ordeal when she feels she can no longer endure it.

On the other side of the equation, she clearly states that she can endure "longer than you", which means that regardless of how long she hangs there, the person who hung her up will have to take her place there, if anything is to be proven. ;):eek::devil:
 
Jollyrei said:
What are we talking about when we say "endurance" here? I think this was her mistake - not clarifying the concepts. She seems to have dared someone. Once she is in the position on the right, endurance becomes academic, because there's no way she can free herself from that. She will "endure" as long as it takes for her to either get released by her "captor" or die.:rolleyes::confused::doh: In this sense, "endurance" is only meaningful here if there is an agreed safe word, and she can signal the end of the ordeal when she feels she can no longer endure it.

On the other side of the equation, she clearly states that she can endure "longer than you", which means that regardless of how long she hangs there, the person who hung her up will have to take her place there, if anything is to be proven. ;):eek::devil:
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Finally-You-Are-Here-Funny-Halloween-Joke-1.jpg

Not seasonal, but suits the message and the messenger :devil:
 
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