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That's the spirit girl!
The Chapel - Part 3
Saskia's heart was pounding. An hour! A complete hour! It actually happened to her! She would have to stay for a whole hour on the cross. Rainer would not set her free, even if she asked him to.
I can beg and plead, he will give me no mercy.
It aroused her. This was exactly what she had always wanted: to be completely helpless tied to a cross and than have to endure, even if it started to hurt.
She had to think of a dream she had as a school girl during nighttime. In her class was a girl who was very naughty and cheeky. In the dream, this girl was crucified on the wall in the classroom. She was naked tied to a wooden cross and had to suffer two school hours on the cross.
The other students saw the shame in the eyes of the crucified girl and the pain that came gradually to her.
Eventually, the girl began to whine loudly. Saskia felt sorry for her. But the same time she thought: "You get what you deserve!"
And all the time she wished to be in the place of that girl. She wanted to hang naked on the cross, feel the pain and feel the shame. She would be shown in open public. Stark naked and tied up. What an idea! The nakedess! The helplessness! The shame! The humiliation! The agony!
And yet she did just that.
Saskia about this dream for a very long time. Again and again she had little movies playing in her head cinema, where she was the unfortunate girl who was crucified on the wall. She loved it.
And now I experience it in reality!
Saskia writhed on the cross. How long she was crucified? She had no idea. She had lost all sense of time. Gradually, it was hard to bear. Her shoulders ached, her arms stretched with violence as well. Again and again she pressed her feet on the footrest and pushed her body up to escape the strain on her arms and shoulders.
She had to suppress a groan. Her naked body plated with a thin film of sweat.
Good God, it was hard to bear!
She had not think that it would be so hard. She found it minute by minute harder to keep silent and not to moan or gasp.
Her body began to writhe on wood a futile attempt to avoid the emergence of pain.
Rainer looked up at her, "Now you feel it, don´t you?"
Saskia groaned. "Yes," she rasped.
"You have not thing that it would be so hard," said Rainer and took pictures of her. "You look great, Sassi. One can see exactly, how much it hurts to you. You are sweaty and it's written in your face that you have to endure a very geat pain. "
He smiled at her, "You look very cute."
Saskia gave a shaky laugh: "It does not feel particularly sweet." She gasped and pulled herself up.
"Do you wish to come down?" Rainer asked.
"Yes," Saskia said. "But you will not let me."
"Exactly, Sassi. I will not let you go. An agreement is an agreement. You will stay on the cross until your time is done, no matter how hard it is for you."
Rainer knelt down and took aim at her from the left side, "I'm going to get great shots. I can see your pain, Saskia. You're doing really well. That looks great.” He stood up. “And -beeing honest- also quite exciting and arousing. You're beautiful in your agony.”
For a while Saskia hung quiet and moveless on the cross. She tried not to fidget too wild. It tended to accentuate the pain.
Still! I want to be quiet. A quiet girl on the cross. Still I endure all pain. I do penance. I'm a naked and atoning girl on the cross. I atone for the sins of the world. I take all the sins onto me and atone for them. Oh!
Down below clicked the camera. The cold lens eye stared at Saskia. Without emotion the lens gaped at her naked body. The camera stole the last intimacy of Saskia. The camera bared Saskia in a way that it felt like her insides were turned to the outside. There was no escape. The ropes bound her to the wooden beams. The ropes tied her to the cross.
The pain became stronger. Saskia started to writhe again. She could not do anything against it. She moaned. She was sweating. She gasped.
The agony was unbearable. Saskia could not believe it.
I'm just tied up! How can it hurt so bad? I can not stand it any longer! Really not!
But she did stand it. She had to. The cross held her. The cross wore she. The cross broke her will - slowly but pitiless.
Saskia felt tears burning in her eyes.
Soon I will start to cry. Oh God, I can stand it no longer!
She began to squirm on the cross. She stretched her body in the height. She twisted and turned her body, as far as the shackles would allow it. She gasped and moaned.
God, it hurts!
Saskia began to tremble all over. She squirmed. Her moans were getting louder. She could not help it. She knew that she would begin to cry immediately. Then she would cry and begin to plead Rainer, to let her down. She did not want it. She was ashamed. But she knew it would come to this. It was too much to bear. She could not stand it any longer.
With a low cry of pain she slumped on the cross. The incredible pain filled her body all over. She had no more strength to resist. Still she hung there, a girl crying in pain and suffering. The pain came over her.
Saskia surrendered. She took the pains, she endured silent and obedient.
Pretty still she hung on the cross, a girl broken by pain and humiliation. She felt move silence in her heart. Everything was quiet. Saskia quietly endured the cross. She did not move. She struggled no longer against the pain. She gave up.
Down below clicked the camera in cold precision. The icy cold lens eye gaped at Saskia's tortured body. The lens took it all in. The lens took it all away from Saskia, even her pride.
Saskia was quiet. She felt empty and solved.
When she felt Rainers hands on her feet, she woke up. She looked down. He untied her.
Saskia was stunned. Just now he freed her. She had not want to be free. She had felt to be one in one with the cross and the pain.
I could stand it for another hour, she thought. Or even longer. Who knows.
But she admitted that Rainer untied her and helped her down from the cross.
He embraced her and kissed her: "You were great, Sassi. That was really great, kid! ! You'll see, the photos are awesome.” Again he kissed her:" My brave little cross-girl.”
Later, on the way back Rainer looked again at the sky and cursed the dense cloud cover. "It was too dark in that chapel. Hopefully I have good photos. I had needed more light."
He looked at Saskia: “How is it? If soon the sun shines, we'll do it again? In the next days? Or do you have enough of your first crucifixion? "
Saskias heart started to beat hard against her ribs. He had said it - he really said it! He wanted to crucify her again.
"I'm with you," she said simply. "It was hard to bear, but one can practice that sort of bondage, or not?"
Rainer nodded. "Sure. Is it possible, I guess. Then you want so stay longer next time on the cross? "
Saskia took all her courage, "Yes, I think so. So you can take beautiful shots of a girl suffering on the cross. It takes real pain, to make the photos look real. "
All the way home Saskia thought in her mind that she would soon be tied again on that cross in the lonely chapel. Her heart pounded in anticipation. She could not wait to be crucified again.
END
That's the spirit girl!
