I always liked this scenario: it’s the end of an American football game, and the losing team’s cheerleaders slowly line up on the 50-yard line (middle of the field). The winning team’s most valuable player --voted on by the fans using their smartphones-- gets to choose one cheerleader. She is then led to the losing teams’s goalpost, tied to it and then whipped, the number of lashes equal to the winning team’s score (usually 20-30). She is then crucified --nailed-- to the same goalpost. Vendors in the stands emerge to hawk crucifixes (some made of candy, some of formed ground meat) displaying a shapely woman.
After a half-hour, one lucky fan, chosen at random by ticket number, gets to plunge a spear into the side of the decidedly unlucky cheerleader.
The fans file out happy, munching what’s left of their crucifixes.