View attachment 238041 The Martyrdom of St. Julia
by Jollyrei
We were several days out at sea from Syria, heading for Gaul. My name is Julia, and I was a slave of my master Eusebius. I had not always been a slave. I was born in Carthage, in North Africa, and spent my early years there raised by my parents. When I was in my teen years, Carthage was captured by the Vandals.
The Vandals were heathens and enemies of the Christian faith of my family. They thus sold many good Christians into slavery. I was about 18 or 19 years old with clear light caramel skin, and long dark hair. The Vandals, having arrested my family, decided that I, as a beautiful young strong woman, would gain them a good price. It was thus that I was sold to pirates, who in turn sold me to Eusebius, a wealthy merchant trading from ports in Syria.
Of my slavery to Eusebius, I can have little complaint. My daily duties were to maintain Eusebius' apartments and living quarters. In all my service to him, I followed the teachings of the Apostle Paul which bade me obey my earthly masters, even if they were not themselves of our faith. Indeed, it was quite easy to obey the orders of Eusebius, who was a kind master, more inclinded to gentle instruction than the use of the whip. I tried to do my duties diligently, and indeed Eusebius said he had never lived in such clean quarters, either on land or on board ship.
At first, Eusebius tried diligently to turn me from following Christ. I had taken to reading the holy scriptures on my time off, and sometimes confess that I forgot to eat during my devotional study. When I started becoming thin, Eusebius forbade me from practicing the true faith, but I protested and cried most bitterly, until he relented (he was kindhearted, as I noted), and he said I might continue to pray to the Lord Jesus if I must, but I was never to fast again. To this I readily and joyfully agreed.
I being a young girl, unwitting in the ways of men, and with no mother to guide me, soon found myself caring as much for his welfare as he seemed to have for mine. I confess that when he asked that I go to his bed, a part of me knew that it was against the laws of God, but I reasoned that God had given me to Eusebius, and the laws of slavery were such that a slave had to obey the master, and this was taught also by the Apostles. And so I came to have a "fleshly master" and I found I cherished these times with Eusebius, and rather dreaded the time when he would tire of me, and I would no longer have his affection, or the pleasurable physical results of that affection.
Even so, the conflict within me grew, and I grew more diligent in prayers for forgiveness from my sins, even while I desired more and more to hold Eusebius close to me and feel him deep inside me. While neither the Lord nor his holy mother (who managed to stay a virgin, they say, although how that is possible I am not sure, considering the scriptures mention Jesus' siblings) gave me any counsel, I consoled myself that neither had the Lord seen fit to punish me with a plague or sudden death, and hoped by other diligent good works and devotion to still gain access to Paradise.
For all these reasons, I became even more prized by Eusebius, and he would not have me separated from him. And so it was that I was his house slave on board his ship, as we sailed for Gaul with expensive cargo of silks and spices. Finally one evening Eusebius sighted Corsica, and decided to anchor in a bay there for the night. As we dropped anchor, he noted the sounds of music and merriment in the town by the bay, and saw many lights.
"Truly," he said, "it must be they are having a festival to honour some god. We shall go ashore, as befits visitors, and join them in these sacred festivities. All members of the crew, including slaves shall attend, out of respect for our hosts."
At this I begged him most earnestly, saying that I could not do homage to other gods. In my mind, I knew that because of my sexual sins, if I then went to worship other gods, I might as well give up hopes of ever being reunited with my parents in heaven. Eusebius seemed slightly vexed, but his love for me compelled him to agree. He told the crew that under no circumstance was anyone to mention my presence on the ship, or my reason for not going to the festival. The crew appeared to agree, and indeed I heard the bo'sun say that it was no issue to him if religious wenches didn't want to have fun, but didn't quite understand how a religious wench could avoid a religious festival. In any case, I felt secure. We would be in Corsica but one night, in any case. Surely nobody could be offended that one slave girl was not drinking to Poseidon's health.
I remained on the ship, feeling myself safe, but this was to be a temporary comfort. One of the crew, carried away in the heathen carousing, became loose-tongued from wine, and told of my presence. The story went from mouth to mouth until, by the time it got to the Tribune of the town, a certain Felix Saxo, I was described to him as a Christian fanatic, who derided the gods of the island and who had behaved in a manner most insulting to my master’s hosts and those who lived on the island.
Felix Saxo was himself a Corsican, not a Roman, so while he was most angered by the false stories he had heard of me, he was forced to be deferent to my master, Eusebius, who was a full citizen of Rome. He therefore approached my master and asked why this one woman remained on the ship, for he had heard that there was a girl on the ship who derided the worship of the gods.
Eusebius explained this to me with some amusement later that night when he returned to the ship. He said he told Felix that he had not been successful in moving me from what he called the superstition of the Christians, nor was he able to bring her to the pagan religion by threatening. He laughed as he said that he told Felix, “If she were not necessary because of her most faithful service I would already have had her tortured.”
As he spoke, his hand moved under my shift to my breasts, indicating the service he found most agreeable. I was vexed and alarmed by his account, but he soothed me most effectively, his deft finger gliding through the inner silk of my womanhood, and a spirit of wantonness overtook me and consoled me. As he guided his manhood into me, I was transported to that ecstasy where there was only goodness.
Eusebius lay with me afterward and held me close. He told me he would explain to me how much he valued me. He said that Felix had said, "Either compel her to give offerings to our gods, or give her to me in exchange for whichever four of my handmaidens please you, or for the price that was set for her." Felix had clearly been affronted by my refusal to worship his gods, but could not simply arrest me, being the property of a citizen of Rome. So he had offered a generous sum for me.
But Eusebius said, “I responded to him by saying that if he gave me all his property it would not come to the value of what you mean to me." I understood then that Eusebius loved me, slave though I was, and I slept secure in his arms.
I should not have succumbed to the temptations of the flesh and their insidious promise of comfort and security. Eusebius had promised Felix that he and his crew would stay for another day of the festival, feeling in his generous, but heathen heart that further honour to Poseidon would help speed his voyage to Gaul in safety. When I learned this, I became agitated, whereupon he caressed my cheek and assured me that Felix could not harm me while I remained on the ship, for that would be an intrusion that no Roman citizen would allow and would result in Felix losing his honours and position. I became more calm and he and the crew departed for the shore in the ship’s boats.
My solace was shortlived. In the early afternoon, I heard noises, as of a large crowd, and thought perhaps the crew was returning to the ship early. I went up on the deck as a mob of townspeople, and one or two of our own crew, all influenced greatly by wine, swarmed onto the deck and took hold of me in a most wanton fashion, exclaiming all the while that insulting Poseidon and the gods could not be tolerated and I should be forced ashore to answer to Felix Saxo, the Tribune.
I cried out, that I was innocent of the insults they accused me of, and that they should leave me on the ship, and that I was property of Eusebius their guest. I called for Eusebius to come to my aid, but he was not among the crowd. One of the men bound my hands, laughing as I protested and said the Eusebius had shown the gods such great honour pouring and drinking libations of wine, that he had succumbed to the effects and was now unlikely to awaken until nightfall.
I knew that once I was ashore, and standing in front of Felix, I could no longer count on the protection of Eusebius, for once on Corsica’s shore’s I would be subject to Felix’s authority, regardless of who owned me. As they forced me over the side of the ship and into one of the boats, I realized that I could not count on Eusebius to aid me, and would need to rely on my wits and the grace of God to help me until Eusebius awakened. I resolved therefore to atone for my previous sins, and hold fast to my faith, in hopes that the true God would save me.
As we reached the shores, I cried out one more time for Eusebius, but the town was of a good size, and he might have been sleeping off the effects of his excess with Poseidon far away across town. I was pulled protesting into the main square, decorated with flowers , and filled with revellers of all ages. Felix Saxo, the Tribune, was also there.
Felix came to me then, as if a friend, and bade the men loose my bonds, which they did. He said he was distressed that the mob had forced me onto land in Corsica, but as this had happened, he was now forced to consider the stories of my refusal to sacrifice to the gods. He said he understood that these stories may have been exaggerated by wine and malicious tongues. Thus speaking, he told me I would be treated as an honoured guest, as befitted one as highly prized as I, by such a noble citizen as my master. I hesitantly and deferentially thanked him for his kindness, asking him what I should do to go to Eusebius and thence back to the ship.
Then he told me that this was not his mind. He rather thought I would be more pleased to offer sacrifice to the gods, thus proving my innocence of the charges, and making amends for any offence to the gods that might have been interpreted. I saw then that I was in a terrible place. Either I gave offence to their gods, thus proving my disdain for them and the Corsicans, or I renounced my own God, losing my hope forever of seeing my loved ones in Paradise. The distress of the situation was such that I began to weep, asking to return to my master’s ship, for I could not forsake my God to do as he asked.
He was clearly distressed by my answer, but felt that I was trying to bargain for my position. “Do not be hasty,” he said, “for nobody would have you forsake any god, only to include in your devotion the gods of the country in which hospitality has been offered you. I have within my power, the means to offer you your freedom again. Sacrifice to the gods, girl. I will give your master as much as he likes and dissolve the bond of your state."
I saw the temptation before me clearly now, and knew my fate was sealed, for I could not exchange the hope of Paradise for a fleeting earthly freedom from my bondage as a slave. They offered a temporal freedom, in exchange for my soul. I knew that I could not take further steps into sin and still hope for the favour of God. This Felix I now saw as a tempter, set to destroy my soul, and I was angered greatly at his deceit.
I dried my eyes and told Felix "My liberty is the service of Christ, whom I serve every day with a pure mind. As for that error of yours, I not only do not venerate it, I detest it."
I might have chosen my words more carefully, noting that our Lord Jesus himself did not insult the gods of the Romans who crucified him, but was enraged that Felix would try to sway me by such obvious wiles.
Felix for his part became further enraged. I suddenly felt him strike me with his full fist on my right cheek. The pain was blinding to me, who had never before been struck thus, and I fell to the ground stunned. Felix was shouting now, calling me a vain and misguided girl, an affront to virtue, and other insults. He dragged me up from the ground, tearing my dress at the front, and as I was lifted, struck me again with his fist, this time on the left cheek. My dress now hung open, displaying the modest swell of my young breasts. Indeed my left breast was fully exposed, showing the darker rounded tip. I stood, too shocked at his attack to even think to try to cover myself.
Felix commanded the onlookers to strike blows to my face, which they did. One man held me up while several of the villagers struck me, some slapping with their open hands, and some with their fists. I tasted my own blood in my mouth, and knew there were other cuts to my skin where some person’s jewelery had scratched a gouge down my cheek. I remained conscious for only 3 or 4 blows.
At some point, I was revived with a bucket of cold water. My face felt bruised and I must have looked terrible. I hoped they had done enough and that Eusebius might arrive soon and save me from further pain and suffering. But Felix was now bent on my degradation. He ordered that I be further punished by having my hair cut short.
I had lovely long hair, which Eusebius prized. I knew he found it beautiful, and it made me feel beautiful. Stunned by my beating, I could not resist and they forced me to sit on a stool and took turns hacking at my hair until it hung just to my shoulders. As I realized what was happening to me, I wept. I cried for my master to intervene for me, but the townsfolk and Felix laughed. As my long tresses dropped around me to the dirt, Felix leaned his face to my bruised visage and told me that I was beyond Eusebius’ help now, as I had insulted the gods of Corsica on Corsican ground. This was punishable by death, as prescribed by Roman law that even Eusebius could not alter. He said, however, that he was prepared to be merciful. If I were to even now make sacrifice to the gods, my life would be spared.