Part 11: Cassia’s Vigil
Seconds after they’d gone, Jasmine spoke.
“Cassia…..”
She went to Jasmine’s cross. “I’m here!”
“I wish…..I wish…. we’d been lovers, Cass.”
Cassia just looked up at her, stretched out on that cross. “So do I.”
“Is it….too late?”
Cassia unfastened her dress, allowing it slip to the ground.
“No, Jasmine….it isn’t.” Moments later, Cassia was naked. “But….I don’t want to hurt you!”
Jasmine looked down at Cassia, the setting sun illuminating her body.
“The pain….the cross….you…I don’t understand….but I’ve never felt more alive!”
With a cry, Cassia wrapped her arms around Jasmine’s body. Tenderly, she kissed Jasmine’s breasts, feeling as though they were both caught in a vortex of passion. Cassia’s hands slid down to Jasmine’s buttocks, and she pulled her tight against her body, holding her in a fierce grip.
Those wonderful nipples had fascinated Cassia from the moment that the Carnifex had removed Jasmine’s dress, and now she eagerly seized one in her mouth, her teeth and her tongue pulling at that proud nipple, that symbol of Jasmine’s defiance of the humiliation of her cross.
Jasmine groaned, this time in ecstasy rather than agony, and did so again as Cassia’s fingers found their way between her labia. Cassia was not really surprised to find her fingers drenched in moisture; what surprised her was that Jasmine was capable of getting so aroused despite being nailed to a cross!
Then it dawned upon her…. Jasmine was not aroused ‘despite’ her cross; she was aroused ‘because of’ her cross! This moment was not a moment stolen from the agony of the cross, it was the culmination of Jasmine’s desire for her cross. A desire born, perhaps, as Jasmine had witnessed the way that Rebecca had wanted nothing more than to join Helena in suffering; or born at the moment that she had realised that Rebecca and Helena were sharing something from which she, Jasmine, was excluded. From that moment Jasmine had actually wanted to be crucified! Nothing else could explain the almost reckless way that Jasmine had behaved. Cassia remembered her words to the Proconsul: “I have seen that there are vacant posts by the South Gate. Please take me there and crucify me.”
Dispelling any last doubt, Cassia discovered that Jasmine’s clitoris was engorged with desire. Cassia stroked it for a few minutes with her drenched fingers. Jasmine was responding by writhing with joy; somehow she was adding the sensations from Cassia’s teeth, tongue, and fingers to the agony of the nails. The nails weren’t detracting from this, they were adding to it.
Cassia realised that her fingers could not accomplish this alone, Jasmine’s clitoris needed the ultimate touch of her tongue. Almost reluctantly she left Jasmine’s breast and moved down, gently kissing her abdomen on the way. One hand stroking her buttocks, and one finger caressing her labia, Cassia’s tongue made that initial contact with Jasmine’s clitoris.
“Oh, Cassia! Oh CASSIA!” groaned Jasmine. Her pelvis was rocking with pleasure, but now Cassia’s tongue had found that throbbing organ of pleasure, nothing short of an earthquake was going to shake it off.
Cassia knew it was coming, but the climax shocked even her. Jasmine threw her head back, and shrieked, a primaeval sound, a culmination of agony and ecstasy, as Cassia’s face was drenched in pulsing fountains of fluid.
Cassia sat back as the echoes of that shriek died away, looked up at her, and smiled. Jasmine gazed back. She didn’t say anything, because she didn’t have to. What words were there, for a moment like this?
Cassia turned to look at the others. What of them? What would be their response to this? Rebecca was smiling, to be sure, maybe she understood Jasmine’s needs better than anyone, for she had been meeting then for years, but Helena was frowning. Scowling, in fact.
Still naked, Cassia stood before Helena.
“Water…..”
Cassia fetched water, and Helena drank.
“You both....think….this is…..some kind of a….fucking…..game?” demanded Helena.
Cassia felt as though she’d been punched in her stomach. She remembered how bitterly Helena had fought her crucifixion, how acutely she felt the injustice of what had been done to her. For a while, she seemed to have appreciated Jasmine’s sacrifice, her apparent wish to suffer as they had done. Now she was clearly feeling that she and Rebecca were some kind of pawns in Jasmine’s game of sexual adventure. Every surge of agony along her tortured limbs served to increase her resentment at what had been done to her, and now she could direct that resentment at Jasmine and Cassia.
“Helena, no!” Shocked, Cassia reached out to her.
“Don’t touch me, you cow!”
Cassia drew her hand back as though Helena had bitten it.
“Helena!” Jasmine’s voice was firm, authoritative.
Painfully, Helena raised her head and looked at her. Glared at her.
“This was not….my doing!”
“No?”
“No! Marcus killed Father! Marcus….set you up for this!”
Helena still glared.
“But you…get off….on seeing me….on seeing us….on being….like this?” She spat the last word at Jasmine. “You arranged this…..whole …..thing!”
“Helena, she didn’t….she couldn’t have!” Rebecca was horrified at the very thought.
“Grow up…..Rebecca! We’re….just….slaves! Toys!”
“No!” Genuine anguish in that one word from Jasmine.
Cassia stood and looked at the three of them, her mind spinning, thinking over the events of the last hours. She could understand how Helena saw it, but…was it possible? Could Jasmine have engineered the whole thing? Were these poor girls hanging there, innocent victims of some wild sexual game? Every awful detail replayed in her mind.
Then she spoke, her voice quavering.
“Helena, I’m sorry, but you are wrong. So wrong. When we left this morning, Jasmine was absolutely devastated at what had been done to you. She was furious with her brother. For fuck’s sake, he almost killed her! Then she took the blame for me killing her brother! I should be dead now, or hanging there with you! She did her utmost, and I mean her utmost, to persuade them to come and get you both down! Would she have done that if she just ‘got off’ on seeing you here? Gods alive, if that’s how she felt she could have come back to my place this morning for a good fuck and then forgotten about you!
“Helena, let me tell you this. Jasmine is the bravest woman that I have ever met! What happened…..just now…. was because she loves me, and I love her, and now, somehow, God knows how, I’ve got to live the rest of my life without her! And I can’t bear the thought that you might die hating her!”
Helena wasn’t looking at Jasmine any more. She was hanging, looking straight down at the ground. But the dying light of the day illuminated her tears as they fell to the bloodstained ground below.
Then she lifted her face. “Jasmine…..look at me.”
Jasmine’s eyes met Helena’s.
“Tell me….what she said….is true?”
Jasmine said. “Of course it’s true! I’ve always…loved you….both! I’d never…..have wanted…..this, for you!”
Helena struggled up her cross. “WHY??? WHY THEN? WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO US? WHY MUST IT HURT….LIKE THIS? WHAT DID I DO?”
This time Helena allowed Cassia, ever so gently, to touch her. She reached up and touched her face.
“Cassia….get me down…..please…..help me! I don’t want to die!”
“Helena, I wish I could, I’m so sorry!”
“Then kill me!”
“Helena, you just said you didn’t…”
“KILL ME!!!
“I can’t! I lost my knife!”
“So strangle me.”
“I can’t!”
“I hate you!!!”
Cassia stretched up, and put her hands around Helena’s neck. It was hard, reaching up like that, but she began to squeeze. Then Helena, eyes wide with panic, shook her head wildly and began to struggle. Cassia let go again.
Helena gasped for breath. Cassia held her, as gently as she could. “I’m sorry, Helena. Your will to live is still too strong. The cross will have to take you, in its own time.”
Helena just hung from her nails. “Fucking…..fucking cross. Only…..the devil himself….could have thought of this!”
And so began Cassia’s vigil. In the distance she could hear the sounds of a party. Josie’s party. Josie and her scumbag father partying while Jasmine suffered. Cassia felt sick.
She felt the chill of night, and reached for her dress. Then she threw it aside. She may not be able to share their pain, or their terror, but she could share their nakedness.
A full moon rose, and soon the whole scene was bathed in moonlight. The women suffered by the light of the moon. She helped them drink, she talked to them , at various points in the night she held all three of them, her body against theirs a small comfort to them.
Towards the end of the night Cassia was sitting on the ground, resting her back on Rebecca’s cross, looking up at Jasmine, bathed in moonlight. What must it be like, on those crosses? What did you think about, as you waited to die? That was the only time she felt herself drifting towards sleep, but at that moment Rebecca, above her, cried out again for her mother. Cassia got up, fetched water, but, in the moments it took to get back to her, Rebecca’s hideous battle with her cross ended, and her breathing quietly stopped. Cassia reached up and closed her staring eyes, and hoped the others hadn’t noticed.
Eventually there was light in the eastern sky, and a glorious sunrise. What right did the sun have to rise so splendidly upon a scene such as this? Why did the birds sing with such joy in the presence of such suffering? Helena and Jasmine were still occasionally crying out in their agony. Would this never end for them? Surely it couldn’t be much longer?
During that early morning Cassia’s vigil ended. Helena went next, soon after dawn, and quite violently. She suddenly found herself suffocating, and desperately tried to push herself up for breath, but she just did not have the strength left to do it. She abruptly stopped crying out, and Cassia found Helena staring at her through sightless eyes. Once again, Cassia gently closed them.
She went to Jasmine’s cross.
“Jasmine! Jasmine! I’m so sorry, Helena and Rebecca have gone. You can let go now! I won’t let the crows get them, I’ll see you all get respect, I promise!”
Jasmine was breathing vocally, every breath was a small sound, but her eyes opened, and she looked at Jasmine, and she smiled.
“Oh, my Jasmine, my poor Jasmine! Now you wish you’d never let them crucify you!”
Jasmine looked directly at Cassia. Slowly but definitely, she shook her head.
Then she gasped, a different sounding gasp, and sighed, closed her eyes by herself, and then she was completely still, the smile still on her face.
Cassia clung to Jasmine’s body as though her life depended on it, her tears mingling with Jasmine’s blood.
It was almost an hour before the guards opened the gate and found her, naked, weeping, and still clinging to her dead, crucified, lover.