Dorothy Brown
Brown Sugar
Well i must say that is a great piece of writing
for valentine day, don`t you have any romance
in you Mr Tree
for valentine day, don`t you have any romance
in you Mr Tree
More gifts for you soon!!!Well i must say that is a great piece of writing
for valentine day, don`t you have any romance
in you Mr Tree
Well then I don't feel bad about beheading you!!!didn’t find a sympathetic face!!!
Reason Was Most Of The Crowd Were Women
And I Had Been To Bed With Their Husbands
Women Don`t Forgive And Forget
Alright Tree, I promised I would look at your story and offer some input. It's a bit difficult because I am not into many of the things you describe. I wonder if there would be a bit less graphic way to treat the topics of hanging and beheading and the bodily functions such that it might appeal to a broader audience? The pictures are quite good; really they are and I salute you for them. Certainly, they are something I could never do.
The other comment I would make, which some here might disagree with, is the constant in-jokes and references to Nailus Martyrs, etc. can be a bit off-putting. It's common in many on-line communities such as this to become very inbred (like NW Arkansas). I understand that, but it's a tendency that we should probably try to resist. My suggestion would be to consider leaving those out of the story proper and let people add them in the comments if they wish. That way a reader who doesn't care for them or even know what they refer to can enjoy the story and those who like them can have them in the comments. I try to make my stories something that, perhaps with a few minimal changes, could be read by someone who has never been to CF.
I hope you will consider these comments as they are meant in honest appreciation of the effort you put in.
Thank you, Dottie. Tree isn't obligated to please me, but I think if he puts you in a story, he ought not to do anything to you that you don't like. I always have Barb read any story of mine that she is in and I respect her wishes about what she does and doesn't want said about her.Yes Love i agree with you about too much graphic descriptions. Mr Tree put`s me into some fantastic situations
and i love being short drop hanged,but piss,shit and bodily functions just leave me cold. i know that probably
happens in real executions but in fantasy land it`s not really needed. piss on me for being naughty is fine a
different scenario altogether but when i`m short drop hanging i need it to be described in a very erotic way.
the way i dance, how my hanging body reacts, what am i thinking,how terrified am i and main thing, am i
pleasing watching men. Mr Tree is about to behead me so i just hope he is fucking me from behind as the
blade takes my head, believe me i love him to bits
If we all wrote in the same style we would look like Tree's maligned NW Arkansas cousins. The point of injecting humor in an obviously not humorous situation is irony that to recipient of the punish this is a dreadful situation but to the executioner her demise is no more than a job and he considers her less than prey in a hunt.Alright Tree, I promised I would look at your story and offer some input. It's a bit difficult because I am not into many of the things you describe. I wonder if there would be a bit less graphic way to treat the topics of hanging and beheading and the bodily functions such that it might appeal to a broader audience? The pictures are quite good; really they are and I salute you for them. Certainly, they are something I could never do.
The other comment I would make, which some here might disagree with, is the constant in-jokes and references to Nailus Martyrs, etc. can be a bit off-putting. It's common in many on-line communities such as this to become very inbred (like NW Arkansas). I understand that, but it's a tendency that we should probably try to resist. My suggestion would be to consider leaving those out of the story proper and let people add them in the comments if they wish. That way a reader who doesn't care for them or even know what they refer to can enjoy the story and those who like them can have them in the comments. I try to make my stories something that, perhaps with a few minimal changes, could be read by someone who has never been to CF.
I hope you will consider these comments as they are meant in honest appreciation of the effort you put in.
Dorothy after you numerous 'pit of shit' adventures don't dare try to tell me you are offered by this!!!Yes Love i agree with you about too much graphic descriptions. Mr Tree put`s me into some fantastic situations
and i love being short drop hanged,but piss,shit and bodily functions just leave me cold. i know that probably
happens in real executions but in fantasy land it`s not really needed. piss on me for being naughty is fine a
different scenario altogether but when i`m short drop hanging i need it to be described in a very erotic way.
the way i dance, how my hanging body reacts, what am i thinking,how terrified am i and main thing, am i
pleasing watching men. Mr Tree is about to behead me so i just hope he is fucking me from behind as the
blade takes my head, believe me i love him to bits
If we all wrote in the same style we would look like Tree's maligned NW Arkansas cousins. The point of injecting humor in an obviously not humorous situation is irony that to recipient of the punish this is a dreadful situation but to the executioner her demise is no more than a job and he considers her less than prey in a hunt.
If we all wrote in the same style we would look like Tree's maligned NW Arkansas cousins. The point of injecting humor in an obviously not humorous situation is irony that to recipient of the punish this is a dreadful situation but to the executioner her demise is no more than a job and he considers her less than prey in a hunt.
As for some not knowing what I am talking about I have received more than a few PMs and in a thread about who or what someone or something is, the most common being 'who is Ulrika' with 'what is UVM (University of the Virgin Martyrs; you love it Windar as it is almost a re-education center)' a distant second.
As for the bodily discharge the executions I describe are traumatic and humiliating affairs and I have no intention of 'sanitizing' them.
And by having members around the world I have learned much about places and customs never taught in schools.
Dorothy after you numerous 'pit of shit' adventures don't dare try to tell me you are offered by this!!!
Many years ago I wrote a story that went too far. Since then I always ask if someone wants to be in a thread and if they have any taboos and respect them.Surely you know that I have written quite a few humorous stories, some of which contained some very dark scenes (Pirettes, for example) and some of which didn't. I find many of your comments on threads funny, this story less so.
As for your style, it is yours. Cleaning up the syntax and grammar would, IMO, leave your style untouched but easier to read. I can tell you that at other sites I visit and have posted at, even ones where all sorts of very hard activity are talked about, spelling and grammar errors knock many stories that would be 5 star down to 2 or 3. Some places refuse to even publish stories unless those are cleaned up.
I feel that if you use characters from the board, you should take them no farther than they agree to be taken. You can always invent entirely fictional characters and do whatever you like with them.
But you asked for constructive criticism and I offered it. Thanks for listening and I really do appreciate the opportunity to speak my mind.
Many years ago I wrote a story that went too far. Since then I always ask if someone wants to be in a thread and if they have any taboos and respect them.
As for my syntax and grammar I do use Microsoft Word's grammar and spell check (unless I am using colloquialisms) so if it's wrong blame Bill Gates.
T
I endorse that. There's an aspect of BDSM and executions that I steer clear of because of a traumatic experience when I was in young teens, Tree is aware and has always been sensitive in avoiding it in stories that I'm in, and checking with me if there's anything coming up I might be uneasy with.Actually, I think Tree is quite careful about consulting with anyone who appears in his stories about permission and about taboos, and he is on record in numerous places here on CF admonishing others to do the same.
I didn't 'water it down'... it was half-written before you put your post up... I'm a slow typist...I wish i had`nt posted that message now,you have
watered it down, but it`s still great finish,
Thank You Mr Tree