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Barb goes BATS

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The excellent combination of prose and rhyme is making me think what a wonderful Gilbert and Sullivan Opera this tale would make ...

(To the tune of Modern Major General)

I am the very model of an innocent poor much maligned ...
I've been tortured, hung and stretched, and now I'm ready for the evil horse ...
I know the Finders of the Witch, and this is not what I am...

Those far more capable than I should feel free to continue should they so wish :)
 
Fossy said:
The excellent combination of prose and rhyme is making me think what a wonderful Gilbert and Sullivan Opera this tale would make ...

(To the tune of Modern Major General)

I am the very model of an innocent poor much maligned ...
I've been tortured, hung and stretched, and now I'm ready for the evil horse ...
I know the Finders of the Witch, and this is not what I am...

Those far more capable than I should feel free to continue should they so wish :)
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I thought I’d done Barb as Modern major-general already, in a pirate story where she was about to get a jolly rogering.. but it turns out I did “policeman’s lot is not a happy one” instead
https://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/the-story-of-barb-moore.8027/post-521052
Also a bit of “Pirate Queen”
https://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/the-story-of-barb-moore.8027/post-520477
 
phlebas said:
Could it be . . . . . ?
original.jpg
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I can't tell whether the girls' expression is the start of a "Oh My God" or a hysterical laugh :elefant:
windar said:
Or from writing yet another story...
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or plagiarizing another story :icon_writing:
Dorothy Brown said:
even In The Morning Her First Ducking Of The Day.
The Water Is Icy Cold, But The Guards Will Soon
Warm Her Up
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One hopes that the pond has been decently stocked with slimy, slithering eels!:eek:
Barbaria1 said:
“And then, and only then, do we lower her slowly into a straddling position over the horse, and torture her until she confesses with red hot irons and pliers!” finished Martinet triumphantly.
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Now we're talking. Let's get on with this!:icon_popcorn:
Barbaria1 said:
The stale air within that unholy chamber
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Again, I must protest. The august and holy presence of the vicar would sanctify this dark place (though not the unholy, sinful slut in bondage).
Barbaria1 said:
The good Vicar had fallen asleep again.
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Anathema on you, heretic author! I am composing my sermon for your execution. I'm considering preaching on Matthew 13:42.
 
Barbaria1 said:
“Take Miss Moore off in fetters to join the other condemned witches there for her final night before the grand event tomorrow on Cruxton’s Witch Burning Day.”
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And who are those other poor wretches awaiting their fate?

Any Cruxgirls out there willing to join me at the stake?

I’m also open to nominations.:rolleyes:

Please speak up now. This story continues on Monday.
 
Harsh Martinet said:
Maybe Barb could be placed on the wooden horse until her sentence is carried out....to make her feel "special"? Come on guys, I need a "fix"
:crybaby2:
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Missed out on the red hot tools action as well... don’t they need to torture the information about her accomplices from her before burning her alive?

Loinclothslave doesn’t not hope she’s caught in this swoop
 
When Barb is brought for torture and subjected to indignities,

She’s stripped and strapped and suffering my various malignities,

I’ve got her stretched upon a rack extracting her confession, all

While prodding her tight little like a consummate professional…

I stretch the witch and ask her if she’s some satanic sorceress,

she swears at me in terms that would embarrass Geoffrey Chaucer, yes,

Hot irons are applied to her most sensitive of lady bits,

While caning her bare feet and not forgetting her tumescent tits…

I sit her on a wooden horse which bites into her labia,

It’s worse than all the sufferings of slave girls in Arabia,

In short, I know a thing or two of torture which I’ll demonstrate;

I am the very model of a mad medieval magistrate!
 
Barbaria1 said:
On this site everyone is automatically guilty. ;)
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This once again vindicated the justice found in Ancient Rome. The Praetorian saying was, "We don't arrest them, lest they're guilty. But we always hold a trial before the crucifixion." So much more decorous.
 
Dorothy Brown said:
There you go Barbaria your big day and i see
you have a few volunteers. Tell them not To
worry it`s only cremation only difference is
you are still alive
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Looks like it’ll be at least a threesome … As they say in good old Cruxton, no witch roasts alone.;)
 
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