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The Bachelors of Laws Induction Lecture, Durham University, 2062

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Delivered by the Procurator of Public Protection for the Republic of Northumbria, Dr Norman Laws.

Good evening. It is good to see nearly one hundred would be lawyers gathered here today. Forty years ago I left this university, and lived through times you do not need to imagine because they are so clearly recorded in our histories.

I mention this to help you understand that the books which I read when I was here, the books in the back areas of the library, may not help you as much as you wish. That past, literally, is a different country. The coastline that existed when I was sitting in the seats you occupy has been changed utterly by the hockey stick shift in sea levels triggered by the Greenland Glacial Disaster.

My job, as procurator, is to enlist you, the future lawyers of this and other republics, in the project of making a decent society and a decent life possible.

I’ve heard the muttering. I’ve read the graffiti. I am the crucifier in chief. In truth, I can’t deny that title. The world out there, the republic that feeds and clothes you, chose crucifixion. I make it happen, lawfully, and in accordance with those democratic decisions.

Like all of you, I walked into this building past the tapestry of Emily Goodman. Emily was crucified in 2045. She is a heroine to those who will, no matter what, reject the democratic decision on crucifixion, but she is also a heroine to my staff.

Let me explain that dichotomy. Emily was opposed to crucifixion. She knew what lay in front of her. Crucifixion in those days was a carnival of bestiality. When Emily was convicted of terrorism, she was dragged out of the old Assize court at Elvet. On the cobbles in front of the court she was raped successively by her accusers, then she was sodomized by whoever wanted her. In those moments she became a heroine to the physical punishment community. Rather than collapse, or cry, she pushed back at her rapists, challenged them to make her come. When they succeeded, all the audience knew, as she cried, and screamed and begged for more, asserting that she was as strong as the system that would break her. Even the dogs could not subdue her. She taught us a lesson about what drives the Emily Goodmans of this world. The very definition of heroism is embracing what lies in front of you, fearlessly, but we cannot step aside from the possibility that by delivering that which is foreseen, which is inevitable, we are merely the agents of the desires that define our customers.

We tell our clients about Emily. It took her three days to die on the cross. She came repeatedly. We gave her fluids, contrary to normal practice. We salved her secondary wounds, and drove away the crows. By the time she closed her eyes, and gave way to the pain, we owned Emily, and loved her as if she was one of us.

Let me give you all a clue.

If you try to be Emily, you will fail. If you aspire to martyrdom, we will break you. I am the crucifier in chief, and my job is to protect the state from the terror that washed around us, as Emily defied us from the tree she was nailed to. Another day of her orgasmic victories, and the people might have torn down her tree and placed her on a throne.

If any of you choose that route, rest assured. On my watch, 24 hours is the limit. We will always win.

Now, let's get back to basics. The three D’s, that define all physical punishment, Defilement, Disfigurement and Display.

That’s what we do for a living. A judge, or a magistrate, or a suitably trained street officer decides on a punishment, and we deliver.

We deliver to the standards of the three D’s. We defile you, we disfigure you, even if only temporarily, and we display you.

Your job as lawyers will be to understand these rules, and to help your clients cope with them. Your role, as government lawyers, will be to seek to apply these laws fairly.

You, help me. [The lecturer points at a young woman in the front row. She is pale faced, her pallor as lifeless as the grey pinafore dress she wears over the rainbow blouse affected by students who have neither gender nor sexual preferences. He directs her to stand next to him, her fist clenched, her little finger extended, He produces a square shaped knife from his bag, along with a thich, round, mallt, and a wooden rod slightly larger than her finger.]

Our job is to do these things cleanly, to turn out clients who know something more about where they are destined for, and how they choose to be obedient. Let me show you.

[From a bag he produces a square bladed knife, a wooden rod the size of a small finger, and a mallet. He positions the rod next to the student’s finger, then rests the knife blade on the rod so that it brushes the very tip of her finger.]

Do you believe I will miss? Do you believe I will harm her who has done no harm? Watch.

[He swings the mallet up into the air, and brings it down with a crash on the wooden rod. The splintered wood flies around the room.]

Pause, and think about what I just did. Look at your fellow student, quaking in her chair.

Pause and think. You have more to learn.
 

jcmsir

Onlooker
One of the rules we chose, as a society, when I was not much older than you, was that we would respect bodily autonomy, provided the individuals who agreed to that deal accepted that surrendering their bodily autonomy was the price they would pay for breaching our rules.

Think about that.

Defilement sounds like an old testament idea. It sounds like an idea from Roman histories.

What it means is that, if you breach our rules, we will require you to surrender your bodily autonomy, and will use your body in ways you might refuse if you had a choice. The you is important. You will be lawyers. You will be the people who will explain this. If you break the rules, you will be defiled. No-one is exempt, or above the law. Everyone can end up above their peers, but only by being crucified, and if it is a capital crucifixion it is not a joke that you will end up above your peers and your neighbours, just a statement of fact. Defiled, disfigured and displayed.

Defilement might be the simple process of being flogged in front of witnesses. That piece of timber I just cut? It’s last year’s simple punishment rod. I go through one a year. As students, you are relatively privileged. Often, when you misbehave, as some of you will, my staff will decide that a local punishment, defilement by corporal punishment, will suffice.

If they decide that, you may get to know me rather better than you wished. .

You will be defiled by being stripped, and by being caned, or flogged, or scourged. There will be a witness, a member of the local community who is of standing. They will watch as I, or one of my staff, take away your right to refuse the blows we will inflict on you.

Let me dispel a rumour.

It is said, in graffiti and news items, that there is a conspiracy between the staff of the proctectorate and the witnesses, which means that anyone sexually attractive who is sentenced to be flogged might also be raped by the witness, the flogger, and any friends who might be present.
Let me remind you of the law. For the time you are in custody and presumed to be a convict, your right to object to violations of your body continue to be suspended. You cannot be raped.

There are times when the presiding justice or judge accompanies his cases to the stables. According to the critics, the anonymous printers of leaflets judges come to the stables for one reason only; you have turned them on, and you are to be fucked.

Get used to it.

This is not a tariff based system. While you are in custody, your rights are non existent. You can say no as much as you like. We will not respond, except with amusement.

You may have read a salacious book of last year, Fifty Days in Grey, that alleges that a very attractive young couple were detained for an offence that merited a simple flogging, which stretched into seven weeks of being flogged one stroke per day, so that they could be used as the pleasure objects of my staff and the judge. You’ll notice we did not deny those allegations. Why? Because whether it is true or not, it is possible. For our system to genuinely deter, to discipline and control our society, it must be capricious. If we arrive at a situation where first offenders believe that the punishment will be relatively minor, or survivable, they will decide that it is worth the risk to offend.

If you protest that what is done to you by my staff, is unlawful, you can be sure of one thing. You will be wrong. Wrong in the construction of the law, and wrong simply because we hold the power, not you. We are not above the law, we are within it, and that law removes your rights.

However, let's return to thos esalacious ruomours. They are not entirely true. The reason why minor offenders are not routinely gang fucked by our officers is quite simple; we don’t have the time. If we did, rest assured, we would. My staff will fuck anything, within reason. Of course the greatest pleasure comes in breaking an offender on the cross, and we are all aroused by it. There is a reason why the great crucifixions are recorded as disorderly events. Lots of people come to watch. My staff are aroused. Summary ofences provide an opportunity for members of the crowd who are disorderly to be defiled. QUite often, n such cases, those offenders are gang fucked. It's inevitable.

Do not, by the way, fall into the trap of believing that a lack of desirability is a protection from the harsher forms of defilement.

According to my custody sergeant, even the ugliest student in this room is better looking than his wife. He’s right.

If you’re male, and giggling, don’t be so cock sure. I’ve seen his wife. You’re in the game. My staff are pansexual, not because we are an equal opportunities employer, but because we provide an egalitarian service. Men need to be defiled as much as women, and the methods are the same. The only exception is castration, which is a very specific act that we use sparingly, but with great pleasure.

Learn to live peacefully. Learn not to annoy others. Learn to live within the laws, and you will not be defiled - unless you ask nicely of course.
 

jcmsir

Onlooker
Oh what joy.....as a Durham graduate many years ago..! Always was a place for creative thinking
You may wish to imagine the venue for this lecture as being the Pemberton building on Palace Green - so many of the more modern buildings down by riverside were lost when the water levels rose in the 2030s, and there is something right aboutt he university retreating back to its roots in the shadow of the cathedral, but growing again. Dr Laws has his home, and his office, in one of the fine buildings on Owengate.
 

Quiet Paul

Tribune
You may wish to imagine the venue for this lecture as being the Pemberton building on Palace Green - so many of the more modern buildings down by riverside were lost when the water levels rose in the 2030s, and there is something right aboutt he university retreating back to its roots in the shadow of the cathedral, but growing again. Dr Laws has his home, and his office, in one of the fine buildings on Owengate.
So convenient for the Music Department that I knew so well......almost next door....
 

jcmsir

Onlooker
@jcmsir , have you seen https://althistory.fandom.com/wiki/Kingdom_of_Northumbria_(1983:_Doomsday)
another dystopian view of a post-apocalyptic Northumbria, albeit in this one the Percy's make themselves monarchs.
That's very amusing and quite playful. Given the schism between the current Duke and his Duchess it may be the case that they would not succeed as partners in government. I do like though that the representative to the Witain from Rothbury is one Alexander Armstrong - a relation perhaps of a popular singer and TV personality?
 

jcmsir

Onlooker
One of the rules we chose, as a society, when I was not much older than you, was that we would respect bodily autonomy, provided the individuals who agreed to that deal accepted that surrendering their bodily autonomy was the price they would pay for breaching our rules.

Think about that.

Defilement sounds like an old testament idea. It sounds like an idea from Roman histories.

What it means is that, if you breach our rules, we will require you to surrender your bodily autonomy, and will use your body in ways you might refuse if you had a choice. The you is important. You will be lawyers. You will be the people who will explain this. If you break the rules, you will be defiled. No-one is exempt, or above the law. Everyone can end up above their peers, but only by being crucified, and if it is a capital crucifixion it is not a joke that you will end up above your peers and your neighbours, just a statement of fact. Defiled, disfigured and displayed.

Defilement might be the simple process of being flogged in front of witnesses. That piece of timber I just cut? It’s last year’s simple punishment rod. I go through one a year. As students, you are relatively privileged. Often, when you misbehave, as some of you will, my staff will decide that a local punishment, defilement by corporal punishment, will suffice.

If they decide that, you may get to know me rather better than you wished. .

You will be defiled by being stripped, and by being caned, or flogged, or scourged. There will be a witness, a member of the local community who is of standing. They will watch as I, or one of my staff, take away your right to refuse the blows we will inflict on you.

Let me dispel a rumour.

It is said, in graffiti and news items, that there is a conspiracy between the staff of the proctectorate and the witnesses, which means that anyone sexually attractive who is sentenced to be flogged might also be raped by the witness, the flogger, and any friends who might be present.
Let me remind you of the law. For the time you are in custody and presumed to be a convict, your right to object to violations of your body continue to be suspended. You cannot be raped.

There are times when the presiding justice or judge accompanies his cases to the stables. According to the critics, the anonymous printers of leaflets judges come to the stables for one reason only; you have turned them on, and you are to be fucked.

Get used to it.

This is not a tariff based system. While you are in custody, your rights are non existent. You can say no as much as you like. We will not respond, except with amusement.

You may have read a salacious book of last year, Fifty Days in Grey, that alleges that a very attractive young couple were detained for an offence that merited a simple flogging, which stretched into seven weeks of being flogged one stroke per day, so that they could be used as the pleasure objects of my staff and the judge. You’ll notice we did not deny those allegations. Why? Because whether it is true or not, it is possible. For our system to genuinely deter, to discipline and control our society, it must be capricious. If we arrive at a situation where first offenders believe that the punishment will be relatively minor, or survivable, they will decide that it is worth the risk to offend.

If you protest that what is done to you by my staff, is unlawful, you can be sure of one thing. You will be wrong. Wrong in the construction of the law, and wrong simply because we hold the power, not you. We are not above the law, we are within it, and that law removes your rights.

However, let's return to thos esalacious ruomours. They are not entirely true. The reason why minor offenders are not routinely gang fucked by our officers is quite simple; we don’t have the time. If we did, rest assured, we would. My staff will fuck anything, within reason. Of course the greatest pleasure comes in breaking an offender on the cross, and we are all aroused by it. There is a reason why the great crucifixions are recorded as disorderly events. Lots of people come to watch. My staff are aroused. Summary ofences provide an opportunity for members of the crowd who are disorderly to be defiled. QUite often, n such cases, those offenders are gang fucked. It's inevitable.

Do not, by the way, fall into the trap of believing that a lack of desirability is a protection from the harsher forms of defilement.

According to my custody sergeant, even the ugliest student in this room is better looking than his wife. He’s right.

If you’re male, and giggling, don’t be so cock sure. I’ve seen his wife. You’re in the game. My staff are pansexual, not because we are an equal opportunities employer, but because we provide an egalitarian service. Men need to be defiled as much as women, and the methods are the same. The only exception is castration, which is a very specific act that we use sparingly, but with great pleasure.

Learn to live peacefully. Learn not to annoy others. Learn to live within the laws, and you will not be defiled - unless you ask nicely of course.
There is always a salacious interest in crucifixion. As a service we understand that. We have chosen to be honest with you, the collective society which we serve. We enjoy our work. We have a salacious interest in doing it well, as well as a civic interest in delivering the outcomes you desire.

Those outcomes are clearly stated. We use the powers of our service to enforce and reinforce the mores and values of the society of which you will be a component. We are expected to decimate the cohort of serious offenders within our society, and to punish minor offenders so thoroughly, that no more than one in three of them ever re-offend. The reality of that, that punishments may vary as we seek to address our targets, adds to the sense of capriciousness. Let me give you an example. I know that in November and December our resources will be depleted by winter illnesses. Not diseases of cold so much as diseases of dampness and badly ventilated buildings. Those diseases will continue to deplete our numbers into early spring. So it makes sense that at Easter we have a carnival of defilement, marking the passing and rebirth of Jesus by sending a few of our criminals on their way. Top tip there my friends. Commit a serious offence in the first quarter of the year, and the odds are very much in favour of your leaving this life on Good Friday. We usually find a political agitator to be the obligatory martyr on that day as well. If they are young and pretty, all the better.

Is that idea a shock to you? Welcome to adulthood, and the real world. Even the simplest administrative crucifixion of a young woman is a popular event. If we hang up a middle aged woman who looks as if she has enjoyed life a little too much it’s hugely popular. It is easy to argue that I am also in the entertainment business.

That is part of the story, but I am also in the government business. Government is a place of budgets, and of management of scarce resources.

One of the areas where I am challenged is in the area of administrative crucifixions versus capital crucifixions.. You may already understand the difference. You may not.

Simply put, a functioning society needs to have a range of punishments at its disposal That is what your ancestors decided. As their advisors on such things, we suggested an integrated system of punishment, Inevitably, that led us to administrative crucifixions. Simply, we agreed that there might be crucifixions where some people walked away.

Let’s be clear about that. If you’ve spent twelve hours tied to an aluminium cross on a cold autumn day in one of the main market places, walking away may be beyond you. As I said before, our justice is capricious. The same sentence on a different day might leave you merely sunburnt.

Administrative crucifixion ensures that you will be displayed, roped to a cross, and might, depending on the height of the cross and your alignment to it, be available to be used as a general fucktoy. Get used to it. The decision as to what lies next in your life is not made when the judge recommends. We decide. We decide, because what we do shapes the impact of your punishment upon society.

I can’t repeat enough, the ingenuity of my team in creating ways in which the goals of administrative punitive justice can be delivered never ceases to amaze me. Let me give you an example. Aluminium poles for administrative justice. When I entered the service, every crucifixion was on a wooden cross. It had to be shaped and morticed appropriately, which made it difficult to do anything other than a capital crucifixion, not least because there was a shortage of joiners..

I hope you are aware, of course, of the distinction. A capital crucifixion means just that. It is a branch of capital punishment, and it means the judge has decided that it should be possible, acceptable or desirable that the convicted person should die.
An administrative crucifixion, by comparison, is a crucifixion where the person convicted should be at risk of dying, but is more likely to be, simply defiled, disfigured, and displayed. We often use the same places for administrative as capital punishments. We are amused if the public confuse capital for administrative punishments.
 

jcmsir

Onlooker
We are, as an administrative branch of the justice system, assiduous record keepers. We have to be. We keep records of who we punish, how, and how they are treated in our company. We have to do that. If I cannot give you a case study of how our clients are dealt with to deter you, then I’ll be making, if you pardon the pun, a rod for my own back.

Maisie Graham came to Durham as a student four years ago. Her first offence that brought her to our attention was what might seem to some a mere dalliance; she was intoxicated, and took the simulation of oral sex (something we are used to seeing) a step too far by disrobing the young man in question and performing the act. She was witnessed by two rather more staid citizens, who summoned the proctors who proceeded, predictably, to the magistrates. From there she came to us, flagged, as you might expect for such an offence, for a first administrative crucifixion.

This is what the log of her arrival says. ‘Graham is overwrought, pompous, and overbearing. As we often do with such girls, of whom the university has rather too many, we placedher in a posture cage for four hours so she could witness Prisoner Maggs undergo their capital crucifixion with impalement.’ For those of you who have never witnessed a capital crucifixion with impalement, the prisoner is hung by their arms from a cross beam above a sharpened stake. Their hands are nailed to the cross beam before they are raised, and they are positioned so the stake, whose point is bluntened to the size of a gold crown, is positioned just above the entrance to their vagina. In order to take their weight off their hands, they must use their feet to grip the stake. As they rise, they almost inevitably cause the stake to enter their vagina. They lose grip with their feet eventually, slump down the stake, suffer the pain of the stake internally, raise themselves using their feet until they slip again, and so on. Some endure for many hours, some realise that the trick is to raise themselves so high that the stake immediately inflicts massive internal injury. Maggs was, believe, one of the slow and time ones, and took nineteen hours. Anyway, back to the log.
‘Prisoner Graham was observed throughout the four hours becoming aroused by Maggs predicament. She clenched and unclenched her thighs repeatedly, and, after brief stimulation by a guard, had what appeared to be an orgasm. She was removed after her four hours, and taken to the flogging post.’
Remember, Graham was the same age as all of you. High spirited perhaps, and of a febrile temperament, but she was not spared. The log records
‘The agreed quota of 25 cane strokes to buttocks and thighs was delivered in five batches of five. Despite the high spirited crowd being somewhat sexually depleted by the reactions to Maggs pathetic attempts to survive capital impalement, six men took the opportunity between batches to seed Graham’s vagina, and five her rectum. After the fifth batch of strokes, she was secured to a traditional cross with ropes, her feet supported by a half plinth, and she was displayed in the market place.’ Again, I must apologize for the jargon. A half plinth is half the width and half the length of the prisoners foot. Its purpose is to exhaust the prisoner, and also to ensure that they dance for the entertainment of the crowd.
Returning to the log ‘After Prisoner Graham was lowered and returned to the prison house, she offered to use her mouth to pleasure the guards. Her punishment was reviewed, and it was agreed that visible and permanent disfigurement was required since there was no sign of repentance or rehabilitation. The tips of her little fingers were removed, and she was released to the care of the university.’
I mentioned earlier that we aim to make sure that only one in three of our prisoners re-offends, I think it is safe to say that we feared, on her release, that MIss Graham would be the one in three.
 
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