jacksjg89
PROCRASTINATOR
Once upon a time there was a Kingdom, ruled over by a very handsome king.
He was young, had golden hair, and was both strong and intelligent, for he exercised everyday while his wise men taught him math and sciences. He was very rich, and very powerful, and all who beheld him envied him. But he was not happy, for he had no wife. So he sent for the most beautiful woman in all the land.
From the Green Isle of the West came the most beautiful princess in all the land, a beautiful woman with redgold hair, wearing all white. All who saw her were stunned by her beauty, and yet there was an aura of incorruptible purity about her. All the women wanted to protect her from the men, and the men wanted to protect her from the other men, and her fathers servants wanted to protect her from them all.
The King and the Princess from the Green Isles of the West met as the first leaves of autumn fell, and were married on the drawbridge to his castle, and then they both disappeared into the king's bedchamber for 5 days. At first, not even the dirtiest of perverts could make a comment about their beautiful new queens sexual gifts. By day five, not even the purest of souls could refrain from thinking about it. “It’s good to be the king” was a phrase heard often in the market and in taverns.
And then, at the end of day 5, The king emerged from his bedchamber, and ordered his wife removed, put in the attic, decreed the door sealed with bricks. Rumor has it that there were no bloody sheets that were changed.
“Ha,” said the town fool. “Our queen was not as pure and virginal as she appeared. Our king was wise to get rid of her.”
“But why did he keep her for five days?” asked the young pretty baker.
“Who knows,” said the Innkeeper wisely, sticking his hand on the wench’s buttocks and patting it.
The King then sent for the Princess of the Southern Sand Mountains. She arrived right on Christmas Day, dressed in a loose skirt, and a scandalous top, with a golden orb crown atop her head and black makeup around her eyes. She was accompanied by six of her most fiercest eunuchs. This woman was a sensual beauty, who made everyman who saw her a hard man, a many of the women had secret taboo thoughts themselves. The young baker saw her and thought ‘She’s pretty, but she isn’t my type.’ The royal wedding was on Christmas Day, and then the king and queen disappeared for 6 days into the King’s chambers.
“She’s got him around his finger as we speak,” said the fool, warming himself by the inn fire.
“Then why isn’t she ruling us already?” Asked the young pretty blond baker.
“Who knows,” said the innkeeper wisely, who reached around and squeezed the wench’s breast. She was beginning to get sick of him.
And apparently the King had gotten sick of the new queen, for he emerged from the bedroom, and ordered his still naked wife to be put into chains. The drawbridge was lowered, and the woman with once hypnotizing beauty was flogged naked through the streets, stumbling through the snow in her bare feet. Once passed the gate she was left, and told never to come back. The last anyone ever saw of her, she was making yellow snow, still wearing her restraints, and looking not long for this world.
The King, desperate for a worthy wife, sent for the daughter of the vicious pirate king of the north, in exchange for a truce. The Princess arrived at the castle on a wooden raft made of stick, rowed by her brother. The sea people are a private bunch, and neither get the news of the day, nor did they ask if the king had previously been married. They were married as the first snows melted, and the hills turned green.
The king and his new wife disappeared into his bedchamber. And the whole kingdom speculated as to what was going on in there.
“Will the king keep this one I wonder?” Said the fool. “She’s quite the beauty, but you can never trust a pirate, even a female one.”
“And is there a reason that a woman can’t be just as good of a pirate as a man?” Asked the pretty young blond French baker.
“Who knows,” said the innkeeper wisely, and tried to put his hand between the bakers legs. She whacked him with a stale baguette and knocked him unconscious. She did not desire to attract the attentions of men.
The very next day, the Queen was found naked in the stocks in the town square. A line formed behind her, as all the men of the city wanted to try what the king had had and for whatever reason disposed of. The baker, Paskell, went to watch, feeling sorry for the shortly reigned queen. The first man made her scream in pain and ecstasy, and she bled.
“How could you be bleeding when you have slept with the king?” Asked the man.
“Aye, I slept with the king. I Slept next to him, after hours of hard work on my part, using my hands, using my mouth, even using my feet. The royal worm is a lazy worm. The king cannot get hard.”
News spread throughout the kingdom, throughout the neighboring kingdoms, all over the world, that the richest, most powerful, most handsome king in all the land was incapable of getting an erection. By nightfall, the king's executioner came to the disgraced queen in the stocks, and struck off her head, and it lay below her still displayed body, still accessible to the cocks of men. But instead of looking at the humiliating spectacle of the former queen, the citizens talked about their flaccid king.
The next day, a proclamation appeared. The king admitted to being afflicted with erectile dysfunction and announced a contest. Any woman who could get him hard would become his wife, his queen, and would be gifted with the greatest jewel in all the land.
If the woman tried and failed, a fate worse than death awaited them.
So, who wants to try and raise the kings kingmaker? Open to anyone to try.
He was young, had golden hair, and was both strong and intelligent, for he exercised everyday while his wise men taught him math and sciences. He was very rich, and very powerful, and all who beheld him envied him. But he was not happy, for he had no wife. So he sent for the most beautiful woman in all the land.
From the Green Isle of the West came the most beautiful princess in all the land, a beautiful woman with redgold hair, wearing all white. All who saw her were stunned by her beauty, and yet there was an aura of incorruptible purity about her. All the women wanted to protect her from the men, and the men wanted to protect her from the other men, and her fathers servants wanted to protect her from them all.
The King and the Princess from the Green Isles of the West met as the first leaves of autumn fell, and were married on the drawbridge to his castle, and then they both disappeared into the king's bedchamber for 5 days. At first, not even the dirtiest of perverts could make a comment about their beautiful new queens sexual gifts. By day five, not even the purest of souls could refrain from thinking about it. “It’s good to be the king” was a phrase heard often in the market and in taverns.
And then, at the end of day 5, The king emerged from his bedchamber, and ordered his wife removed, put in the attic, decreed the door sealed with bricks. Rumor has it that there were no bloody sheets that were changed.
“Ha,” said the town fool. “Our queen was not as pure and virginal as she appeared. Our king was wise to get rid of her.”
“But why did he keep her for five days?” asked the young pretty baker.
“Who knows,” said the Innkeeper wisely, sticking his hand on the wench’s buttocks and patting it.
The King then sent for the Princess of the Southern Sand Mountains. She arrived right on Christmas Day, dressed in a loose skirt, and a scandalous top, with a golden orb crown atop her head and black makeup around her eyes. She was accompanied by six of her most fiercest eunuchs. This woman was a sensual beauty, who made everyman who saw her a hard man, a many of the women had secret taboo thoughts themselves. The young baker saw her and thought ‘She’s pretty, but she isn’t my type.’ The royal wedding was on Christmas Day, and then the king and queen disappeared for 6 days into the King’s chambers.
“She’s got him around his finger as we speak,” said the fool, warming himself by the inn fire.
“Then why isn’t she ruling us already?” Asked the young pretty blond baker.
“Who knows,” said the innkeeper wisely, who reached around and squeezed the wench’s breast. She was beginning to get sick of him.
And apparently the King had gotten sick of the new queen, for he emerged from the bedroom, and ordered his still naked wife to be put into chains. The drawbridge was lowered, and the woman with once hypnotizing beauty was flogged naked through the streets, stumbling through the snow in her bare feet. Once passed the gate she was left, and told never to come back. The last anyone ever saw of her, she was making yellow snow, still wearing her restraints, and looking not long for this world.
The King, desperate for a worthy wife, sent for the daughter of the vicious pirate king of the north, in exchange for a truce. The Princess arrived at the castle on a wooden raft made of stick, rowed by her brother. The sea people are a private bunch, and neither get the news of the day, nor did they ask if the king had previously been married. They were married as the first snows melted, and the hills turned green.
The king and his new wife disappeared into his bedchamber. And the whole kingdom speculated as to what was going on in there.
“Will the king keep this one I wonder?” Said the fool. “She’s quite the beauty, but you can never trust a pirate, even a female one.”
“And is there a reason that a woman can’t be just as good of a pirate as a man?” Asked the pretty young blond French baker.
“Who knows,” said the innkeeper wisely, and tried to put his hand between the bakers legs. She whacked him with a stale baguette and knocked him unconscious. She did not desire to attract the attentions of men.
The very next day, the Queen was found naked in the stocks in the town square. A line formed behind her, as all the men of the city wanted to try what the king had had and for whatever reason disposed of. The baker, Paskell, went to watch, feeling sorry for the shortly reigned queen. The first man made her scream in pain and ecstasy, and she bled.
“How could you be bleeding when you have slept with the king?” Asked the man.
“Aye, I slept with the king. I Slept next to him, after hours of hard work on my part, using my hands, using my mouth, even using my feet. The royal worm is a lazy worm. The king cannot get hard.”
News spread throughout the kingdom, throughout the neighboring kingdoms, all over the world, that the richest, most powerful, most handsome king in all the land was incapable of getting an erection. By nightfall, the king's executioner came to the disgraced queen in the stocks, and struck off her head, and it lay below her still displayed body, still accessible to the cocks of men. But instead of looking at the humiliating spectacle of the former queen, the citizens talked about their flaccid king.
The next day, a proclamation appeared. The king admitted to being afflicted with erectile dysfunction and announced a contest. Any woman who could get him hard would become his wife, his queen, and would be gifted with the greatest jewel in all the land.
If the woman tried and failed, a fate worse than death awaited them.
So, who wants to try and raise the kings kingmaker? Open to anyone to try.