And even if you are acquitted you still took up the court's time. I'm sure Judge Admi or Judge Tree would rather be off fishing (or screwing interns) than presiding over a trial that did not result in a conviction. Someone has to pay for taking up the court's time!
A scene in Judge Tree's court:
"Marcella and Tricia, this court cannot find you two girls guilty of the charges brought against you. Although you received your day in court, this trial has taken up the better part of beautiful day that I could have spent fishing. And, though innocent of the charges in this matter, the fact that you two were initially arrested based on reasonable evidence makes this court suspect that you may have -- indeed, almost certainly have -- been guilty of some activity in the past that would warrant your crucifixions. Therefore, in accordance with the wide range of discretion I have in maintaining public order, I direct you two to report to the Parks Department no later than 9:00 AM tomorrow morning, whereupon you will be subjected to public, naked, non-lethal crucifixion for a period of three hours. Bailiff, take them away!"
"But your honor, you can't do that! We're not guilty. You just said it!"
"What was that miss? Let's see, you're Marcella, right? Are you questioning my jurisprudence? Telling me what I can and cannot do in my own court? Careful girl, I can have you whipped, too, or worse."
"I understand that, your honor, but with all due respect, I just don't understand why . . ."
Tricia, speaking aside, nervously: "Shut the fuck up Marcella! Don't make this worse than it is!"
"You're right, my dear. You obviously do not understand. Women have such a poor understanding of legal matters. So to improve your understanding of the legal system in this county I'm ordering you and your friend here to be given a dozen lashes each and six hours of crucifixion! Does this improve your understanding of how the law works?"
"No, your honor, it doesn't. I mean, why are we to be punished for being innocent?"
"Innocence, my dear girl, is no excuse! Now, you seem reasonably intelligent -- for a woman. Surely you understand that. You and your friend became a part of the criminal justice system when you were arrested. That you were found innocent is indisputable but it is utterly immaterial for adjudication purposes. There was a crime committed. You two were charged. You're in a courtroom. There was a trial. I am the judge. Someone must be found guilty. Obviously it must be the two of you. Who else? Law and order must prevail. No crime can be allowed to go unpunished. Do you not see the wisdom in that?"
"No, I do not! It's just not right, it's . . . "
"Do not show your contempt for the law in my court, girl! Your ignorance will not set aside my sentencing."
"But, but, this is all illogical, crazy . . ."
"Are you trying for twenty-four lashes and twelve hours of crucifixion, or should I just order you two cunts to be nailed to crosses and left to die? What's your pleasure miss? Hmmm?"
"Your honor! Really! I don't like being called a . . . ."
Tricia shouts, "No problems your honor. We'll take the twelve and six!"
("Shut up Marcella! Let's just get this over with!)
"Next case!"
"A Miss Barbara Moore, your honor. Charged with . . . "
"Bah! I know this one! She's been here before. Long legs, great tits, superior tumescence. The charges aren't important. Crucify her!"