Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Did you read my private Diary?
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M*A*S*H DIARY
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
12 April - 7 May, 1951
After Action reports, Eighth Army
(closed file, top secret)
Re: Action at Hill 669, 11- 12 April, 1951
Brigadier General Roger “Mad Dog” Ransom, Rainbow Division
Rainbow Division front was hit by a particularly vigorous Chinese assault on the morning of 11 April, but managed to throw back the attackers, but only after suffering heavy losses in front line companies during the early phases of the action. The odd thing about the Chinese assault is that it was preceded by the crucifixion, in full view of our troops, of thirteen female POWs atop Hill 669. Our men were so surprised and distracted by the sight of so many naked women. writhing about in the most erotic manner on crosses to which they had been brutally nailed, that no one thought to resist until the first wave of attackers were on top of them. The most grievous loss of personnel and ground came at that crucial moment. The vigor and determination with which our men counterattacked and threw back the Chinese hordes, however, should be commended in a unit citation. A simultaneous action, by a strike force, alerted by a Corporal Racing Rodent, of the 4078th MASH, rescued the women, who turned out to be mostly nurses from the 4078th, and evacuated them to EVAC in Pusan later that day.
Colonel Matthew R. Smithie, Chief of MASH services in Korea
I wish to amend this report to add that, in fact, the crucified female POWS included all twelve nurses then serving with the 4078th, including Head Nurse Eulalia Burns, as well as a JAG officer, Lieutenant Brave, who was temporarily assigned to the unit, and request forthwith their immediate replacement as the unit cannot handle casualties without nurses. I also wish to correct the filed Rainbow Division 'after action report' by stating that it was, in fact, a bold action on the part of the 4078th C.O., Colonel Phlebas, who organized an ad hoc strike force of MASH doctors and enlisted personnel ... including Captains, Wragg, Tree, Jolly, Goldman, Sergeants Rodent, Connoisseurs. Loxoru, and MP Emily ... that effected the timely rescue of the nurses. All should be commended and receive citations for their brave actions.
Major General James T. Mason, CG I Corps, Eighth Army (Phi Theta Beta brother)
A further addendum to this report should note that, in fact, Colonel Phlebas was ably assisted in this daring rescue, by Brigadier General Praetorius of the JAG, who happened to be with the 4078th at the time to oversee a court martial of one of the nurses captured by the Chinese, Lieutenant Barbara Moore. Lieutenant Moore had been found guilty and duly sentenced in her trial. She was to be flogged in front of the entire unit, but the sentence was never carried out due to Chinese attacks. Also sentenced to a flogging was Lieutenant Brave of the JAG office, who was found in contempt of court while defending Lieutenant Moore. One other footnote. There appears to have been a retired British officer ... a Major Grave, ... involved in the rescue as well, but no one seems to know how he got here. He apparently wandered off after the rescue and hasn't been heard from since.
Lieutenant General James Van Fleet, CG Eighth Army (Phi Theta Beta brother) (H)
Whoa! I've just re-classified this after action report "top secret". There are some very embarrassing issues here. First of all, we can't let the press get hold of the fact that naked nurses crucified on crosses ever appeared on Hill 669, and that the sight of them writhing about up there nearly paralyzed our brave troops. Questions will be raised about how female personnel could be allowed to be captured and used in such a way for the purposes of psychological warfare. Secondly, we can't let it out that a ragtag group of doctors from a non-combat unit actually saved the fair nurses’ asses. And thirdly, there is the matter of Lieutenants Moore and Brave, who if I read this report correctly should still be under arrest and complete their sentenced judicial punishment by flogging in front of their unit. We have to think here about unit morale and due process. Going off and getting yourself captured and crucified by the enemy does not make anyone a hero in this man's army.
General Matthew “Tin Tits” Ridgway, CG UN Command Korea (H)
I have to agree with James. MacArthur might have let these two lieutenants get away with this (and probably would have invited them to Tokyo for a private audience), but now that I am in command, discipline must be maintained. Lieutenants Moore and Brave are not to be sent home from the EVAC in Pusan. They will, instead, following their convalescence, be returned to the 4078th to receive the corporal punishment to which they were sentenced and evaded by falling into the hands of the enemy.
Admiral Arthur W. Radford, PACOM Commander, Pearl Harbor Hawaii. (Phi Theta Beta brother) (H)
I wish to stipulate that in this grave matter all high ranking officers should be in attendance. Do not schedule the floggings of Lieutenants Moore and Brave until I can get there to witness it. It'll be good to get the old Harvard frat guys together for this, won't it brothers? It's obvious from the photos in their files, that the lieutenants are both lookers. i trust they will both be stripped naked for their floggings, right? Remember how Phi Theta Beta always took pride in doing these kinds of hi jink things to those silly little wenches from Radcliffe? It'll be like old times.
General of the Army Omar Bradley, Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (H)
Report approved and closed without further comment. I don't ever want to hear any Moore of this matter. Understood?
After Action reports, Eighth Army
(closed file, top secret)
Re: Action at Hill 669, 11- 12 April, 1951
Brigadier General Roger “Mad Dog” Ransom, Rainbow Division
Rainbow Division front was hit by a particularly vigorous Chinese assault on the morning of 11 April, but managed to throw back the attackers, but only after suffering heavy losses in front line companies during the early phases of the action. The odd thing about the Chinese assault is that it was preceded by the crucifixion, in full view of our troops, of thirteen female POWs atop Hill 669. Our men were so surprised and distracted by the sight of so many naked women. writhing about in the most erotic manner on crosses to which they had been brutally nailed, that no one thought to resist until the first wave of attackers were on top of them. The most grievous loss of personnel and ground came at that crucial moment. The vigor and determination with which our men counterattacked and threw back the Chinese hordes, however, should be commended in a unit citation. A simultaneous action, by a strike force, alerted by a Corporal Racing Rodent, of the 4078th MASH, rescued the women, who turned out to be mostly nurses from the 4078th, and evacuated them to EVAC in Pusan later that day.
Colonel Matthew R. Smithie, Chief of MASH services in Korea
I wish to amend this report to add that, in fact, the crucified female POWS included all twelve nurses then serving with the 4078th, including Head Nurse Eulalia Burns, as well as a JAG officer, Lieutenant Brave, who was temporarily assigned to the unit, and request forthwith their immediate replacement as the unit cannot handle casualties without nurses. I also wish to correct the filed Rainbow Division 'after action report' by stating that it was, in fact, a bold action on the part of the 4078th C.O., Colonel Phlebas, who organized an ad hoc strike force of MASH doctors and enlisted personnel ... including Captains, Wragg, Tree, Jolly, Goldman, Sergeants Rodent, Connoisseurs. Loxoru, and MP Emily ... that effected the timely rescue of the nurses. All should be commended and receive citations for their brave actions.
Major General James T. Mason, CG I Corps, Eighth Army (Phi Theta Beta brother)
A further addendum to this report should note that, in fact, Colonel Phlebas was ably assisted in this daring rescue, by Brigadier General Praetorius of the JAG, who happened to be with the 4078th at the time to oversee a court martial of one of the nurses captured by the Chinese, Lieutenant Barbara Moore. Lieutenant Moore had been found guilty and duly sentenced in her trial. She was to be flogged in front of the entire unit, but the sentence was never carried out due to Chinese attacks. Also sentenced to a flogging was Lieutenant Brave of the JAG office, who was found in contempt of court while defending Lieutenant Moore. One other footnote. There appears to have been a retired British officer ... a Major Grave, ... involved in the rescue as well, but no one seems to know how he got here. He apparently wandered off after the rescue and hasn't been heard from since.
Lieutenant General James Van Fleet, CG Eighth Army (Phi Theta Beta brother) (H)
Whoa! I've just re-classified this after action report "top secret". There are some very embarrassing issues here. First of all, we can't let the press get hold of the fact that naked nurses crucified on crosses ever appeared on Hill 669, and that the sight of them writhing about up there nearly paralyzed our brave troops. Questions will be raised about how female personnel could be allowed to be captured and used in such a way for the purposes of psychological warfare. Secondly, we can't let it out that a ragtag group of doctors from a non-combat unit actually saved the fair nurses’ asses. And thirdly, there is the matter of Lieutenants Moore and Brave, who if I read this report correctly should still be under arrest and complete their sentenced judicial punishment by flogging in front of their unit. We have to think here about unit morale and due process. Going off and getting yourself captured and crucified by the enemy does not make anyone a hero in this man's army.
General Matthew “Tin Tits” Ridgway, CG UN Command Korea (H)
I have to agree with James. MacArthur might have let these two lieutenants get away with this (and probably would have invited them to Tokyo for a private audience), but now that I am in command, discipline must be maintained. Lieutenants Moore and Brave are not to be sent home from the EVAC in Pusan. They will, instead, following their convalescence, be returned to the 4078th to receive the corporal punishment to which they were sentenced and evaded by falling into the hands of the enemy.
Admiral Arthur W. Radford, PACOM Commander, Pearl Harbor Hawaii. (Phi Theta Beta brother) (H)
I wish to stipulate that in this grave matter all high ranking officers should be in attendance. Do not schedule the floggings of Lieutenants Moore and Brave until I can get there to witness it. It'll be good to get the old Harvard frat guys together for this, won't it brothers? It's obvious from the photos in their files, that the lieutenants are both lookers. i trust they will both be stripped naked for their floggings, right? Remember how Phi Theta Beta always took pride in doing these kinds of hi jink things to those silly little wenches from Radcliffe? It'll be like old times.
General of the Army Omar Bradley, Chairmen of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (H)
Report approved and closed without further comment. I don't ever want to hear any Moore of this matter. Understood?
Last edited:
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
My first thought! Never trust ordnance 'Made in China'!
Eventually the logic of the events became clear!
We call it 'rearguard action', Herr General!
Besides, do not worry, I read their rights first : "You have the right to remain silent!"
RacingRodent
Consul
36-39 Pall Mall, London, April 1951
The club steward approached the elderly gentlemen very carefully. It seemed such a shame to rouse the old coot from his slumbers, "Excuse me Colonel, but your six o'clock is here, you asked me to wake you," The old man's eyes sprang open with a flash but they seemed fixed on a very distant horizon, the steward took a step back.
"Damn Turks are not taking this position, don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes men, make every...last...bullet...oh damn off again, you were saying?"
"Your appointment is here Colonel Graves," The Steward gently reminded him.
"Oh, good, show him in and a couple of gin and tonics if you would be so kind," Graves told the man.
A brief moment later the steward returned accompanied by another man and a silver tray with two clear drinks. Graves it seemed had already nodded off again. The steward apologised and left the private room.
"That chap gone?" Graves crooked open half an eye.
"Yes he seems to have recused himself," Agreed his companion.
"Ah good," Suddenly Graves looked ten years younger, not young but a lot sharper, "So I got your documents for you, well that scary Rodent fellow of yours got them, seems the M.A.S.H unit he was attached to had a couple of pet Goons from the last war, once he tucked off that Yank General and his fraternity nonsense it seems one of them used a Russkie SVT they found among the cache of Chinese weapons. So one less commie captain anyhow."
"Hum, well good and the documents?" Asked the man in the grey suit.
"Right here," Graves fished out his brief case, ran the combination and then opened it with the flourish of a small key, "But why all the interest in the operations of some scummy Chink penal company?"
"We think they were actually a special propaganda unit, anyway, it all helps, in case the big one goes up, understanding communist tactics," The grey said quietly, "These documents, did you read them?"
"I read Cantonese, these are in Peking Mandarin, might as well be Greek to me," Graves replied stiffly.
"But you also read Greek," Came back the dry sally.
"Quite but I have learned when not to snoop," Said the old Colonel.
"Oh, sensible," His guest looked over the Chinese script quickly before placing it safely in a briefcase of his own and locking it, "So business out of the way, how are the sprogs?" He asked as he took up his drink.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Wonderful! I have no idea what just happened, but it is wonderful!
connoisseurs
Senator
I agree with Barb, but I am wondering. Will the next that I hear being Tree as a secret AA with only peppermint tea in his bottles?A lovely cameo to add to the story.
windar
Teller of Tales
Well, I did say that Joan's Horny Powder was a placebo, didn't I? Of course, we know that placebos can work quite well in many cases...
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
I wonder what Patton would have added, if he still had been alive and serving!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
When faced with the question of whether the girls should receive the rest of their properly sentenced punishment, he would have repeated his general thoughts on discipline: "All human beings have an innate resistance to obedience. Discipline removes this resistance and, by constant repetition, makes obedience habitual and subconscious."I wonder what Patton would have added, if he still had been alive and serving!
Sounds like he knew Barbara
When faced with the question of whether the girls should receive the rest of their properly sentenced punishment, he would have repeated his general thoughts on discipline: "All human beings have an innate resistance to obedience. Discipline removes this resistance and, by constant repetition, makes obedience habitual and subconscious."
Not intimately
FAKE NEWS!!!
At last, recognition!
I will personally ensure that the miscreants are held ready until your arrival, sir. I will make it my personal responsibility that the punishment goes smoothly this time. Ohhhh yes indeed
Sounds good, I believe Prague is lovely this time of year . . . . . and in need of medics I suspect
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
In other words : he would have come to do the flogging himself!
Oh dear.
Poor Barb.
She literally gives her all and this is the thanks she gets.
Not to worry, eh, Barb!
If you were always treated fairly cfs wouldn't be half such an entertaining place!
And this wasn't half an entertaining story!
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
Debriefing to myself.
May 10th 1951
Korea (exact location classified)
Probably I am a slow thinker on some occasions. It probably explains why, even after more than fifteen years in the military, I did not make it higher than a ‘Stabsunteroffizier’. So, it took me a while before I understood what the Colonel meant with these ‘pet Goons from the last war’.
Yet, Meine Herrn, this ‘pet Goon’ has to tell you this. First of all, I have the highest esteem for what these doctors and nurses do in their every day job in the MASH unit! I honestly prefer the real battlefield, where I switch my mind to ‘zero’, fix the bayonet on my rifle, and charge when ordered! Adrenaline will do the rest, to help me ignore the repulsive events that happen around me! And even more honestly, I would not like to be in the place of these medics that have to try to fix the butchery left behind on the battlefield – as far as there is anything left to fix! So far, fortune of war has been very kind to me, I hope it will stay that way!
So, I emphasize again, these surgery tents are a battlefield on their own for the doctors and nurses, and I am glad to be not around when the wounded come in, commiting myself to service the motor pool meanwhile, so that the material is always ready for an eventuality, allowing me to stay at a comfortable distance from that particular battlefield.
But remember, there is a war going on, and, Geneva Convention or not (there is already more than enough Geneva Convention in the surgery tents), there is sometimes dirty work to do! Especially when some old sofa warrior Herr General Praetorio lets a POW officer return to his lines, simply because of some frat bullshit!
Apparently, these British gentleman in their London club were shocked by my action? I tell you, Meine Herrn, from my viewpoint, that Captain Fuk was a POW on the run, so he had given up his protection provided by the Geneva Convention, and I did my duty to shoot him! Fuck frat stuff! With that one bullit in his back, I saved the life and limbs of numerous American and other UN soldiers.
Concerning the punishment of Lt. Moore and Lt. Brave. In case I will be ordered again to do their punishment, I shall do it! Befehl is Befehl! But in case I would meet one of these illustrious generals who gave the order to continue the sentence, I would suggest he would put down his brass for a day and give the doctors and nurses a helping hand in the surgery tents of the MASH unit in the aftermath of a battle! That could help shape their views on ‘Disziplin’.
Staff Sergeant Loxuru, US Army, 4078th MASH
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Thank you for the insightful comments, Staff Sergeant Loxuru. You are a credit to the army (whichever one you currently profess loyalty to?)
RacingRodent
Consul
Given the choice of language I don't think Graves was making any complaint. I have tried to reflect a way of speaking, one that perhaps relies on a certain inhouse shared knowledge and is deliberately opaque to outsiders. It may not have come across but there was probably a certain professional respect for a display of the required ruthlessness. Remember James Bond is a very genial assassin but still an assassin.
Of course other people are free to make their own moral judgements.