Limericks

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Solve the limerick

Hint - first line is
One thousand two hundred and sixty

 

[Wragg]

On the subject of pronounciation...

The star violinist was bowing
The quarrelsome oarsmen were rowing
But how is the sage
To discern from this page
Was it piglets or seeds that were sowing?

 

[Wragg]

Hint - first line is
One thousand two hundred and sixty

Thank you...

I think...

One thousand two hundred and sixty-
four million, eight hundred and fifty
three thousand nine hun
dred and seventy-one
point two seven five eight four six-three

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Thank you...

I think...

One thousand two hundred and sixty-
four million, eight hundred and fifty
three thousand nine hun
dred and seventy-one
point two seven five eight four six-three

Well Done

But not always by yourself

 

[Wragg]

And another, on the theme of Englerican (or Ameriglish, as you will...)

There was a young fellow named Hall,
who died in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a bad thing,
had he died in the spring,
but he didn't — he died in the fall.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

For Pia

There was a young lady from Kent
Whose patience was totally spent
She Wanted a whipping
Her back to be dripping
So my cane on her back soon was bent!

 

[Wragg]

Lord Wragg on a maiden begat
Bouncing triplets, named Nat, Tat, and Pat
Great fun in the breeding
But hell in the feeding
She hadn't a spare tit for Tat.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

 

[Eulalia]

Inspired by a PrPr pulp -



The heinous hyaenas of hell
Are hideously disrobing la belle -
But it's not her bare bust
Excites hyaenid lust,
They're lured by her feminine smell.

 

[cynthia the inocent]

Inspired by a PrPr pulp -

View attachment 676511

The heinous hyaenas of hell
Are hideously disrobing la belle -
But it's not her bare bust
Excites hyaenid lust,
They're lured by her feminine smell.

It is so embarrassing when a strange dog sticks his nose in your crotch. Or an occasional man.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

It is so embarrassing when a strange dog sticks his nose in your crotch. Or an occasional man.

I would think the worst part is trying to tell the difference!

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Triplet

 

[Eulalia]

Une Limerique, following a French faux pas by PrPr,
and merci Messaline for correcting a worse one by Eulalie:

Dans la maison de Madame Messaline
Les filles se tiennent en ligne -
Mais un faux pas, 'celui-ci',
En bon français on dit
"Celle-ci" est celle qui de toi est digne.

In Madame Messa's salon divine
The girls are all standing in line,
But oops - no not that way
In good French you must say
That 'celle-ci's the one who'll do fine.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

A note for the Brits:

Americans, in their wisdom, pronounce z as 'zee'

If you stick with 'zed' you'll never get it!

But the Brit pronunciation is so much more consistent. After all they pronounce "r" as red, don't they?

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

 

[cruxlover]

Topical verse courtesy of Spike Milligan :-
"Andre Previn went to heaven
A little bit too soon
Saint Peter said
Your'e not quite dead
Come back this afternoon"

See also sketch with Morecombe and Wise from 1971
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/enter...in-in-famous-morecambe-and-wise-comedy-sketch

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Topical verse courtesy of Spike Milligan :-
"Andre Previn went to heaven
A little bit too soon
Saint Peter said
Your'e not quite dead
Come back this afternoon"

See also sketch with Morecombe and Wise from 1971
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/enter...in-in-famous-morecambe-and-wise-comedy-sketch

Andre helped make a lot of beautiful music.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

 

[Wragg]

But the Brit pronunciation is so much more consistent. After all they pronounce "r" as red, don't they?

Like y'all pronounce it 'ree'