(just a little charade on this topic)
Macro-Goldman-Moghul studios headquarters.
Late 1930.
Meeting in Mr. Louis B. Moghul’s office.
Present are : Mr. Moghul, Juan, a storywriter, and Mr. Irving Bergthal, producer.
Mr. Moghul : “So, Juan, what is that new script you have in mind!”
Juan : “Actually, Mr. Moghul, I think it will begin with a truly great novel that ends with the heroine nailed to a cross. But for it to work, I think the first 95% of the novel must be very non-erotic. Nobody can dismiss this as “erotica.” It’s a great, mainstream story with immense literary value. And then at the end, she’s crucified. The setting for this “First-through-the-wall” novel probably would have to be Roman, so that the crucifixion feels like it’s just accurate. Not trying to write about crucifixion, it’s just what would happen. Even the final scene should be written in a “classy,” way - not shrinking from the cruel, humiliating reality, but not dwelling on sexualized moments, either. So it’s a very “respectable” story, and the way it deals with crucifixion (maybe as a sort of metaphor for the place in society women are still fighting to free themselves from) is “hard-hitting” and “honest,” not erotic or sexualized. The tone will be key. “Respectable” audiences can swallow a lot if it feels high-brow and meaningful enough.”
Mr. Moghul : “Irving, what do you think?”
Bergthal : “It could work! I just would be curious what that 95% non-erotic part is about!?”
Mr. Moghul : “Never mind those 95%! We put someone on it! They’ll come up with something! If Irving says it will work, then I trust it will work! Just one more question! Don’t we risk… allegations of… blasphemy? Crucifixion, doesn’t that remind too much to Jezus Christ?”
Bergthal : “Just remember, Sir that nude torture scenes will always have a ‘juicy’ character, intended or not. The movie will not a problem, if the director does a good cutting and camera positioning job, leaving some things to suggestion. Important, I think is that, at the end, there is not just a crucifixion, but that, during the crucifixion scenes, the story is not finished and only then comes to its climax or outcome! Crucifixion as such is not necessarily referring to Jesus. Most viewers will be aware that crucifixion was a common death sentence during Roman times. This aspect could be framed well throughout the story, e.g. by adding another crucifixion earlier in the story, making clear the circumstances and practices of that sentence.”
Mr. Moghul : “OK! Give that 95% job to Loxuru! He can invent something…! But tell him to make it not too complicated! Next! Who will be the actress that will play the naked crucified heroine? Lilian Gish?”
Bergthal : “Too shy!”
Mr. Moghul : “Annette Kellerman? She did nude scenes!”
Bergthal : “No! Too voluptuous!”
Mr. Moghul : “Alla Nazimova?”
Bergthal : “Too old!”
Mr. Moghul : “Mary Pickford?”
Bergthal : “Too serious!”
Mr. Moghul : “Clara Bow?”
Bergthal : “Can’t act!”
Mr. Moghul : “Constance Talmadge?”
Bergthal : “Overacts!”
Mr. Moghul : “Clara Kimball Young?”
Bergthal : “Too Mature!”
Mr. Moghul : “Beverly Bayne?”
Bergthal : “Francis Bushman would not like it!!”
Mr. Moghul : “Theda Bara?”
Bergthal : “Too Vamp!”
Mr. Moghul : “Edna Purviance?”
Bergthal : “Too Chaplin!”
Mr. Moghul : “Tallulah Bankhead?”
Bergthal : “Too Blonde!”
Mr. Moghul : “Mabel Normand?”
Bergthal : “Too death!”
Mr. Moghul : “Really!? But come on, Irving, give me something! Oh, I get it, you want the role for Norma Shearer, isn’t it?”
Bergthal : “I actually, hope, Sir, that Norma will get a good part in it, yet, I would prefer not to see her crucified naked! And I am not so eager to see her returning from the set with four holes in her limbs. Actually, Mr. Moghul, I have another proposal!”
Mr. Moghul : “Tell me!?”
Bergthal : “A young actress, Barbara Moore is her name. Her agent says she seems very eager to take the part! It is a real challenge for her!”
Mr. Moghul : “Never heard of. Where is she from? Not from Arkansas, I hope?”
Bergthal : “She’s from a blue state!”
Mr. Moghul : “Yikes! So she complains a lot!”
Bergthal : “But, on the other hand, she never reads the fine print of the contract!”
Mr. Moghul : “Interesting! So we can shoot realistic crucifixion scenes! Give that Miss Moore an.. invitation for a private and personal screentest, tomorrow evening, at my place! Dismissed!”
THE END