For lo, it came to pass that Barbaria drew nigh unto the place which is called Cruxton Abbey. And Wragg, that is to say, the Lord of Cruxton came out to her and greeted her warmly, saying 'Verily art thou welcome, O Barbaria of the Blue State! For behold, here is my house of Cruxton Abbey, and within it are items of great joy, four poster beds to which thou mayest be lashed, and fearsome whips to make patterns upon thy tight little which are splendid in the eyes of all that see them. Moreover, there are devices with which to squeeze thy tumescence, racks upon which thou mayest be stretched, and crosses upon which thou mayest be suspended whist we, thy humble servants do look upon thee, and pay homage unto thee, saying, "see Jollyrei! Behold Tree! Observe Madiosi! Didst ever thou see such magnificence in thy lives before this?
'And then shall come Dante Phlebas Rossetti to paint thy loveliness, and post it in his Art Gallery, so that all in the whole world may see thy splendour!'
'And great shall be the rejoicing, yea, unto the uttermost parts of the earth, and there shall be heaven upon the earth, the angels shall sing and even the devils themselves will be of great cheer.'
(The Chronicles of Cruxton 14:21-25, Authorized Version)
