Dear Cruxies
Thanks for your interest. Here is another fantasy I want to share with you.
Voluntarily as a research object
This fantasy comes from a dream. I found photos of a young punk girl on Deviantart a few years ago. She called herself xxTinkerbellyxx and she had some nude photos of herself online. One of the photos is called "Weird Pose". Unfortunately I don't know how to post photos here in the forum, otherwise I could present it here.
I found this photo fascinating. Firstly because the young woman dared to present nude photos of herself on the internet and I liked the pose: partly she was almost on her knees, partly she seemed rebellious, almost defiant. It was also clear to me that she was probably an exhibitionist who liked to show herself naked in front of strangers.
Then at night I dreamed about this girl and it became one of my favorite fantasies. The dream takes place about 50 years in the future. This is important, because in this future humanity has unbelievable healing methods that we only know from science fiction films. Among other things, there is a so-called bio-tank, where injured people float in a nutrient liquid and are completely healed by nanorobots. This bio tank can even replace lost limbs. They grow back. Healing wounds is very simple.
I read a report by Frederick Zugibe. The article is still online – in German. Zugibe crucifies people to research the consequences of crucifixion. Indeed, he has done so in recent years.
In my dream, the red-haired punk girl goes to this researcher and offers herself as a research object. But she doesn't want to be strapped to the cross like the other volunteers, she wants to be nailed to it. She is like us. She loves the thought of crucifixion and becomes sexually aroused by the idea of being nailed to a cross.
In my imagination I see her standing in front of the researcher and offering to nail her to the cross.
"I'm willing to take that on myself," she says. “That would certainly be informative for your research. They could collect an incredible amount of data and, above all, it would be a real crucifixion. Your previous research only took place on people who were strapped to the cross with soft cuffs. Nailing would be much more realistic.”
She has to show him her ID card, which proves that she is almost nineteen years old because she is a bit short of stature. Yes, she is over eighteen. She is grown up and she can offer herself as a research object.
It goes on like this. If the researcher objects, she counters immediately.
"Pains? But they are part of it! You might find out what hurts the most. They could explore the extent of the torment and whether the theory is correct that the crucified victim is constantly dancing on the cross, or whether he is hanging very still because every movement increases the pain. Can I stand it? Of course I will endure it! Once I'm nailed I'll have to endure it. There is no going back then, no matter how much it hurts. If I scream, they let me scream. watch me Write what happened to me on the cross. Record everything. They can inject nanorobots into my bloodstream that will measure everything: blood pressure, sweating, heart rate, all bodily functions. You could find out what happens to a crucified man.”
Then she explains that a thorough exploration would take at least a full hour.
Since the researcher is still not quite convinced, she finally begins to downright beg him. She pleads with him to make this extraordinary experience possible for her.
"You're not taking any risks," she says breathlessly. "I may have to endure excruciating pain. I might scream for the whole hour. Maybe I'll tearfully beg her to put me down immediately because I can't take another minute. Ignore that! That's part of a crucifixion.”
Her voice trembles with excitement. "Listen, please let me experience it, please! I do it voluntarily. For me that is a challenge. It will be an incredible emotional sensation, an experience that no human has had for two thousand years. Please take me as a research object. Please!"
The researcher still has doubts. "Don't make it too easy to imagine," he says paternally. "I think you have no idea how painful crucifixion really is."
"Then I'll find out on the cross," says the young punk excitedly. She has flushed cheeks. "That's exactly what matters to me. To experience my limits and to be led beyond my limits. Please, you will receive an incredible amount of research results. They can install cameras and film everything. You can take photos. Please let me experience it.”
Finally the researcher gives in. He actually wants to get results on what happens in a real crucifixion and he probably figures that his visitor is a bit into crucifixion, that she has masochistic feelings.
What's the point, he thinks, no matter how bad it gets for the young lady, the bio-tank will heal everything.
So he makes an appointment with the punk and she comes to the lab. She signs a contract that she is doing everything voluntarily and that she is willing to take on any pain that nailing involves.
She strips naked without fear, but you can tell she's nervous. She knows what is coming and she is scared, so scared she almost flinches, but she has wanted to be crucified for so long that she mustered up the courage to go through with it.
She goes naked to the cross lying on the ground. There five strong men are waiting for her to crucify her. The researcher asks her again if she is really willing to endure crucifixion, and she replies with a firm voice, “Yes. I'm ready. I will voluntarily be crucified for an hour."
Then she lies on the cross and the men kneel and hold her wrists and ankles so that she cannot pull her hands and feet away. At a sign from the researcher, the fifth man begins to nail the girl to the cross. The researcher has several cameras set up to record everything and he takes pictures with a handheld camera.
The Crucifier begins with the girl's feet. The feet stand on a downward-sloping foot pedestal. He places the first nail right in the middle of the foot and drives it through the punk girl's right foot with quick hammer blows. She holds her breath and then gasps loudly. She rears up. A short scream escapes her, then she endures the nailing silently with clenched teeth. She's quiet, but she can't keep tears from welling in her eyes.
She listens to the loud knock-knock as the nail is through her foot and smashed into the wood beneath. The Crucifier knows his stuff. He practiced on a dummy how to nail a person's hands and feet. The girl's other foot is already nailed to the wood.
Now the man nails the hands of the volunteers. He drives the nails through the girl's wrists. This time she screams loudly. She can't keep still.
The five men then step back. The punk girl lies panting and crying on the wooden cross. You can see that she now feels what it means to be nailed to a cross.
The researcher presses a switch and the cross is raised hydraulically until it is vertical. The cameras record everything. The erection of the cross is quick. It only takes 5 to 6 seconds. Then the volunteer hangs vertically on the cross.
Her eyes widen. Her mouth is half open. She's panting raggedly, but she doesn't scream. She manages to stay still.
"Oh God!" she gasps. "I can not believe it! I am crucified! I am indeed crucified!” She groans loudly, trying to get herself into a position where she can stand it. But that is impossible. The researcher explained it to her beforehand. One cannot assume a tolerable position on the cross. No matter how you try, you're always hanging on your nails with your full body weight and you're in a lot of pain. The girl begins to understand this. She senses what is happening to her.
"Oh God!" she gasps again. Her whole body is shaking. She can't prevent it. She lost control of her body in the first second on the cross. The cross forces everything on her, the movements, the stillness, whether she cries or screams. She feels that very clearly.
"How are you feeling?" asks the researcher, although he can see that the girl is enduring excruciating agony. "Does it hurt a lot?"
"Yes!" gasped the Crucified. "I can not believe that! How can something hurt so much?” She begins to move slowly. Her body moves against her will. She wants to stay still because every movement increases the excruciating pain, but her body won't listen to her. Your body begins a slow, lazy dance on the cross. The body covers itself with a film of sweat. The girl moans and gasps louder and louder. She is crying out loud now.
It hasn't been five minutes yet, but it's absolutely unbearable for her. She knows very well that she can't take it a second longer. But she endures. She must. She's nailed and she can't get free on her own. This knowledge is terrifying and exciting at the same time.
I'm hooked, she thinks. I can't get out on my own. No chance! But I can't take it anymore! I can't possibly take this any longer!
But she knows she has to endure it. That's agreed. No matter how much she pleads for release, she will be granted no mercy. Once nailed to the cross, she has to endure a full hour.
I can not! I can't! she thinks desperately. Oh why did I do that?
Now she regrets volunteering. She would do anything to undo it. And yet she likes it to a certain extent. It's unbelievable, but she likes to hang naked on the cross in front of the people. The researcher is not alone. He has several assistants who support him in evaluating the data. There are three young men in their early twenties and three young women of the same age. Probably students.
The young men in particular look at the girl on the cross with interest. They obviously enjoy looking at a naked girl. But the young women stare, too. They are fascinated by the young woman who volunteered to be nailed to the cross. The girls are fascinated and also excited by the sight of the crucified girl.
The five men who nailed her to the cross are still there. They look excitedly at the naked punk girl on the cross. Do you like what you see. A sight like this doesn't come along every day.
The crucified girl feels great shame, but at the same time she is very excited to be stared at by these people. Knowing that the sight of her will arouse viewers greatly arouses the girl. She is pointer friendly. Didn't she post all those nude photos of herself on the internet? She likes people staring at her because she's naked. She is infinitely ashamed, but she also enjoys this shame.
It's the same with pain. They are unbearable and yet the girl on the cross also feels excitement. She got what she always wanted. She hangs helplessly on a cross, nailed to her hands and feet. She regrets getting involved in this and yet she is happy to finally experience it. But she would immediately ask to be lowered if anyone asked her.
But nobody asks. Nobody will show sympathy. That's agreed.
The girl hangs whimpering on the cross, her arms stretched out wide, her knees slightly bent. No matter what she does, it hurts, it hurts so bad. Again and again she tries to take a different position on the cross in order to avoid the horrible pain. She doesn't stand a chance. The pain is always there. It hurts everywhere.
Finally she hangs very still and motionless on her outstretched arms. A storm of pain rages in her wrists. Your feet are no better. But she keeps quiet. Very quiet. She is afraid to move, fearing that any movement, no matter how small, will make the excruciating pain worse.
She hangs silently on the cross, her eyes wide. Her mouth is half open. She's panting, she's panting. But she has no shortness of breath. As the researcher said in an interview? "Baloney! There is no shortness of breath. The crucified can support himself well. I've crucified dozens of people tentatively. No one ever complained of shortness of breath. They only complain about pain.”
Yes, thinks the young woman on the cross. It hurts, but I can breathe easily.
Despite this, she often wheezes. Her incessant whimpering is always interrupted by gasps or by loud sobs when the agony becomes even more unbearable.
This is how the girl endures the crucifixion. She hangs very still on the cross and tries to avoid any movement. Then again the pain drives her up and she dances screaming on the cross trying to break free. Until she collapses again, powerless.
She moans, she whimpers, she pants, she cries, she sobs and sometimes she screams. But she never begs for forgiveness. Never! she endures it. Because she wanted it that way.
The hour drags on endlessly, but at some point the girl is ready to accept the pain. She hangs still and surrenders on the cross and gives up. She submits to the cross with humility, ready to accept anything, however long it may take.
It ends with someone giving her an injection. She faints.
When she wakes up she is lying on a bed, naked and healthy. She was just taken out of the bio tank. She looks at her wrists in amazement. The wounds are no longer visible.
The researcher steps next to the bed and congratulates her on bravely surviving her crucifixion.
Crucifixion? she thinks. no My FIRST Crucifixion!
She remembers the agony she had to endure, the excruciating pain, the irrepressible wish that it would please please pass. But she also remembers other feelings: the bliss of finally being able to experience it, the excitement rising, the pride she felt as she hung naked on the cross, and the excitement she felt when people saw her stared intensely.
The researcher gives her a fatherly smile: "I bet you wouldn't do that again, would you, young lady?"
She smiles back, "Why not? I got through it without any damage. Once I was nailed there was no turning back. I had to endure it. It was a challenge and an incredible emotional sensation. If you like, you can crucify me again.”
When the researcher looks totally incredulous, she literally starts begging. "You can do that with me," she says in a shaky voice. nothing can happen to me The bio tank repairs all damage. I have proved that a man can endure crucifixion. Why not more? You would get a lot of new data. They could crucify me in any number of ways. Both feet on top of each other and nailed to the foot pedestal with a single nail. Or nailed your feet directly to the upright cross post without a pedestal. They could nail my feet to the outside of the pole, drive the nails through my ankles under my ankles. There are so many ways to crucify a girl.”
Her voice trembles with excitement: "Listen! I really want to do this! Voluntarily! You can leave me on the cross longer next time. Shall we say: three hours?”
The researcher looks at her with a frown.
"Or longer," says the girl breathlessly. "Why not six hours? You could say now, that's a long time, you can't stand it, but once I'm nailed down I'll have to bear it."
Finally the researcher gives in. He is too wild for more data and makes a new appointment with the young woman. Then she is to be crucified for six hours.
The girl is leaving. She is overjoyed. She dreads the next crucifixion, yet she can't wait to stand naked again in front of the big wooden cross on the floor and then lie down on it, ready to be nailed.
That was another of my fantasies. Hope you enjoyed.
- it's actually an older idea than all of my other threads...
