I would like to know what are the circumstances behind her getting her lifelong wish granted. Did she simply receive this willingly as a favor from others to grant her wish? Or was she condemned to this and had no power in its coming about but her lifelong wish made her cooperate and embrace it secretly? Or she put herself into the former situation deliberately, like the person who steals a loaf of bread deliberately on the day they say (maybe due to a spate of robberies), "The next person who steals a loaf of bread will be crucified!!" So everyone including the thieves avoid doing it but the cruxphile steals a loaf of bread on purpose!! I would love to know.
My apologies. A long metaphysical rant follows:
The fact she yearned for crucifixion, and somehow gets her wish granted, then, upon feeling the pain, regrets it while still alive on the cross until the finally dies from her crucifixion brings up two kinda metaphysical questions/scenarios for me.
1. If before her crucifixion she somehow goes temporarily forward in time and gets to talk to herself hanging on her cross, and her future (crucified) self tells her not to do it, whatever act that lead to her crucifixion, assuming her past (pre-crucified) self has it within her power back then to choose between one set of choices that lead to the cross and another that does not, I believe she will still submit to her desire and still choose to be crucified when that choice comes.
2. If her future (crucified) self gets a second chance, an opportunity to leave her cross temporarily and (maybe with her clothes returned and a temporary healing of wounds), be given an opportunity to temporarily go back in time and interfere with her past and potentially choose to stop herself from ending up crucified, would she? She might without question, having experienced crucifixion and regretted choosing the experience choose freedom. Or she may respect her past selves' desperate desire to know crucifixion, as she sees and understands that if it goes unsaited, leads to her future misery if that future is without experiencing crucifixion, so she changes nothing and returns to her cross willingly.
Therefore the only true solution, with the coin landing on it's edge is a third scenario:
3. Her only true "out" is to change her fate from ending in crucifixion, except where she is able to embrace her future WITH her memories of her time crucified and regretting it. Only then will she embrace her future free of the incurable misery of her insatiable yearning for being crucified.
I don't know what I would do. (No, maybe I do know...)