I'm not sure, hanging 40' above the pavement, I think I'd prefer the security of ropes!
As to the non-standard crucifixion, under the present extraordinary circumstances,
it's not that easy to order Premium French Crucifixion Wood on the internet and get it delivered overnight,
nor even to send a squad of hefty slaves down to the builders' yard to commandeer some stock.
No, Prince Uday's household carpenters have had to carve up some very hard and solid old oak benches
that student bums perched on at mealtimes in the days when it was a seat of learning,
but have been stacked in the cellars since it was upgraded to a palace!
69
A brief burst of a fanfare is played through the speakers, then I hear the voice of Prince Uday. He hasn’t come out on the balcony, must be inside behind the window, bullet-proof I don’t doubt...
‘Salaam aleikum, fellow Muslims, and greetings to all friends and citizens of Masrurabad and of Inglistan. I have serious matters to share with you.
First, Sheikh Masrur, on whom be blessings, is in declining health, doctors at the Al Dakhm Palace say he may be called away by Allah at any time now. It is necessary the reins of power be taken up without delay, and as the sole heir to the al-Masruri Sheikhdom, that duty falls upon me.
I have already received solemn oaths of allegiance from leading members of the Supreme Council of Clerics, from the Commander of the Religious Police, and from Commanding Officers of the Palace Guard and other military units stationed in and around Masrurabad. I expect – and hereby command as a fatwa – that I shall receive similar assurances of loyalty from all officers of the armed forces of Inglistan of the rank of Colonel or its equivalent or above.
It is imperative that our country, all its people, and especially its armed forces, unite to maintain the peaceful, prosperous and blessed conditions we have enjoyed under Sheikh Masrur, and which it is my firm intention, inshallah, to preserve.
I do not need to tell you why this is so grave a need. Our land is threatened by dark and dangerous forces, determined to disrupt the rightful succession, hell-bent – yes, I mean that literally friends, marching towards Jahannam – to divert our nation from the True Path.
You know that my dear brother, Prince Masrur, on whom be peace, was cruelly killed a week ago by agents of a wicked conspiracy. The foul bodies you see shaking in their fear of death on the wall of my Palace...’ he pauses, the crowd’s eyes turn towards Yasmin and me, I’m not shaking in fear of death, but I’m beginning to long for it... ‘they were the spawn of Shaitan who carried out the hideous crime, but of course they were mere tools of a much more powerful and dangerous cabal of traitors. Our intelligence services are in relentless pursuit, they will find no hiding-place, they will suffer as these two slaves of their malice are suffering now – and worse!
I know, my friends, the vast majority of you wish me well, I am grateful for your loyalty. But I take this opportunity to warn any who have any doubts, any thoughts of rebellion or foolish disobedience, not only you, but all your families will suffer – you will see your women, your mothers, wives, daughters, concubines and slavegirls tortured to death just as these pigs’ turds are dying now.’
He pauses, before growling, ‘Be warned. Allahu akbar!’
The National Anthem drones through the speakers. Everyone is standing to attention, everyone is silent. A big, black car catches my eye, as it speeds past the far side of the mosque, heading in the direction of the Al Dakhm Palace.