Limericks

[montycrusto]

With seemingly great enterprise,
Intrepid reporter Barb flies
To a tropical isle
All the while thinking “I’ll
Be a cert for the Pulitzer Prize!”

 

[montycrusto]

Galley-slave Barb was complaining:
“Enough of this sweating and straining!
You know it’s not lawful
To treat us so awful;
I should know, I have had legal training!”

 

[montycrusto]

The slave master brandished his whip,
And growled “Let’s have none of your lip!
You’re just a slave wench
Tightly chained to a bench,
Not a word, for the rest of the trip!”

 

[montycrusto]

Barb flipped him the bird, which he saw.
She was swiftly unchained from her oar,
Then flogged with the cat,
While the master said “That
Is all you need know of the law!”

 

[twonines]

Barb is chained to that long, heavy oar,
Leaving her muscles aching and sore.
Her skin, torn and ripped,
From when she was whipped.
And the prospect of getting much Moore.

 

[twonines]

Was Barb taken to Pirate Cay
To be treated in this unusual way?
She`s there to be used
And sexually abused,
To provide pleasure every day.

 

[twonines]

Between Kelly, Robert and Big Fred,
Barb has a daunting prospect ahead.
Her training regime
So cruel will seem,
And improve her performance in bed.

 

[montycrusto]

She thought she would lie on a beach,
And practice her acceptance speech
For the Pulitzer Prize;
“I owe you one, guys,
That’s Monty and @twonines , one each!”

 

[twonines]

I hope your idea is correct
And our due from Barb, we collect.
If she pays us in kind,
I wouldn`t mind,
But it`s not going to happen, I suspect.

 

[montycrusto]

When her seaplane touched down in the bay,
A uniformed flunkey did say:
“Miss Moore I presume?
This way, to your room.
You will find there is nothing to pay.”

 

[montycrusto]

I hope your idea is correct
And our due from Barb, we collect.
If she pays us in kind,
I wouldn`t mind,
But it`s not going to happen, I suspect.

Miss Moore finds herself in our debt..
She has no idea, I would bet,
Of what it will cost
In dignity lost,
And how many lashes she’ll get!

 

[twonines]

When they found the phone she`d secreted,
Barb was then quite harshly treated.
Kelly said "We run a tight ship,
By using the whip,
Until your training`s completed."

 

[montycrusto]

When Barb took a glance at her phone,
She uttered a dismal groan.
“No Signal”. Well, damn.
She was in a right jam,
And would just have to manage - alone!

 

[montycrusto]

“Well, this was a crappy idea,”
Thought Barb as she unpacked her gear.
Kinis and keds
And her skimpiest threads,
“Might as well get some sun while I’m here!”

* kinis = Bikini bottoms
* keds = summer shoes, lightweight trainers, sneakers, what we in UK used to call “plimsolls”

 

[montycrusto]

She stood and admired her reflection:
Her tight little shown off to perfection,
In a brief mini-dress
Which, she had to confess,
Would have given the Dean an erection!

 

[montycrusto]

With a sun-hat and sun-cream galore,
Young Barbara made for the door..
But oh no! It was locked!
Though she called out and knocked,
No-one answered. Oh shit! What a bore!

 

[montycrusto]

The window, it seemed, was locked too.
Now Barbara finally knew,
She was caught in a trap.
“Holy shit,” she said, “crap!
What the hell am I going to do?”

 

[montycrusto]

There was nothing to do, but wait...
“Typical! When I’m looking so great!”
Might as well make the best
Of being skimpily dressed
And lie down for a quick masturbate!

 

[montycrusto]

“Holy shit! I’m as horny as fuck!”
Thought the girl as her orgasm struck.
Being locked up, it seems
Was the stuff of her dreams,
“Perhaps just once more, for luck...”

 

[montycrusto]

Thus engulfed in wave after wave
Of erotic joy, Barb never gave
Much thought to the fact
That her self-loving act
Made her perfect to be a sex-slave...