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Some Sketches

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The day of my crucifixion was a nightmare for my soul the same as it was for my mutilated body. I always knew I was fat and unattractive, but I never expected such hatred and contempt from my neighbours, friends and relatives, when they finally see me nailed and lifted high over their heads, naked and defenceless.

"Hello, slut! Nice to see you, and we are happy that you finally met the justice! And now, don't pretend to be so shy and show us your dirty hairy cunt!"
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"Ha, ha, ha, exactly! And now lift your body up higher! Show your shame to everybody!"
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"Are you really this decent? All your efforts are in vain, you cannot fight the pain, you are too week and worthless, you whore!"
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"Ha, ha, ha, what a wonderful view! Thanks a lot! Okay, now we can be sure that you are only a perverted pig, you damned ass!"
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"Keep looking at yourself - it shall be twice this shameful for you! You see? You are fat and ugly and dirty and stinking, you Slavic piece of shit!"
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And they begun to throw stones and rotten fruits in my direction, and to spit at my face and to touch my breasts and vulva, and to beat me with their fists and grab my knees to pull them wide apart and to stick fingers or sharp pieces of wood to my vagina and all the time they were smiling and telling jokes to one another and they were sneering and mocking me and repeating that they hate me until I begun to cry and weep and I lost control over my body, and they begun to laugh and applaud joyfully, and I couldn't bear any longer such hate nor the pain in my pierced limbs and so I fainted.
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Not for long: the pain in my wrists revived me in seconds and the whole spectacle continued...
 
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...until finally the hunger, thirst, pain and exhaustion triumphed. After few deep breaths and painful cries I collapsed and hanged motionless with my crotch exposed and my head down. I wasn't taking air for a good while and I looked like I was dead.
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The soldier watched me for a quarter of minute and then...
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...he decided to pierce my hearth with a single mighty stroke of the pilum. The new unexpected pain revived me and I lifted my body up one more time and cried painfully, and then he realised he missed his target so he gave me the second stroke, this time more precize. I collapsed once again, this time really loosing consciousness for the last time in my life...
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...while my soul left my mutilated corpse and for the few seconds before the darkness devoured me I watched satisfied onlookers returning home after the finished spectacle and the flocks of crows, gathering around the hill to begin the feast when the people would go away.
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As you perhaps expected:
 

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Matron's nightmare, part 1/2:
 

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Matron's nightmare, part 2/2:
 

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The war was lost. Two Roman legions sieged our capital and despite of our efforts to avoid the final battle, legate didn't want us to surrender. I personally tried to negotiate but he simply arrested me together with my two companions and continued the assault. He wanted to destroy us. And so he did. His legions broke through the defence and annihilated all my tribe. Me with my two guards were the only survivors. They forced me to identify the corpse of my husband, the last king of our people, and then they took us to the Rome and we were marched through the triumphal arc during the parade, my comrades in simple loincloths but me humiliated in a full nude with a garland of thorns painfully pressed on my head, and then we were nailed to the crosses before the temple of Mars. And after three days of the horrific suffering our legs were broken, my breasts were ripped off and my belly was slitted open with a sword pushed into my vagina, and thus we died the wicked death. And this was the very end of the last branch of Bructeri, and the end of my damn life.

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The famous Roman justice: when the Romans entered my country with no permission, burned my house and kill my family with no reason, they felt surprised I didn't want to became a sex slave to them, so they forced me to and when I told them the truth about them and warned them that I would never give up the revenge, they were much more surprised and they decided to crucify me immediately as a criminal. And so they did.

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When the Romans finally entered the Britain they teached the Britons the art of fighting as a compact unit, the art of building solid walls, stone houses, arc bridges and domes, and, last but not least, they teached them the art of dying as slow, horrible and humiliating way as possible. Here we can see some insubordinate servant girl learning her last painful lesson near her master's villa somewhere in Kent, 45 CE.

Well, the Britons were clever and gifted people and soon they turned out to be knowledgeable students, and they passed their exam in 60 CE, using the acquired skills with proficiency in excess of their masters.

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"Well, did you hear? I asked the people what should I do: to proceed with hammering you to the beam or to fuck you before, and they chose the second option. You have heard them applauded. They want you to make a good show, so try to do your best to fulfill their request. I hope you will cooperate and enjoy yourself too! What? You are a virgin? You don't want me to deflore you and you don't want to enjoy it? Okay, so you will be simply raped. The resistance is futile so don't even try anything - except perhaps moaning and weeping: it will be funny to hear your whiny voice. Okay - let's go!"

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The cross had been stabilized vertically and then the soldiers untied my hands, pulling ends of ropes, fixing my shoulders to the patibulum till now. The sophisticated knots gave way and the ropes fell down, causing me to hang on the nails only for the first time. Two square nails hammered mercilessly into my wrists now supported the whole weight of my body and I felt the unbearable pain, much more than while being hammered. I cried painfully and I heard laugh, clapping and whistling and I noticed that I forgot I am hanged in public and naked, and I blushed red but the pain was so terrific that I hardly could think about my humiliation. I opened my eyes and looked up at my right wrist, and I saw and felt that the round hole punched in my living flesh became oblong and I saw the stream of blood trickling from the wound and running down my arm and loin and buttock and thigh and I felt my hearth was pounding like the hammer itself, and the sudden fear of death overhelmed me so I couldn't straighten my legs to ease the pain in wrists, and I couldn't take an air. Half strangled I forced my trembling legs muscles to lift my loins up in spite of the shocking pain exploding in my feet. Again I heard the cruel voices and laughs of the amused witnesses of my agony. And in the sudden flash I realised that the very first minute of my torment didn't ended yet! and that I would suffer such an unimaginable pain for the hundreds and thousands of minutes! and once again I begun to shout and cry with terror, completely losing my body control...

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When we reached the place of my execution, the sun was rising. They untied my hands and one of the soldiers gave me the jug full of liquid and I drank all the posca with the analgesic herbs. The drink was rather strong and I felt dizzy so I didn't resist when the soldiers took my dress off and put me on the cross, laid flat on the sand, but when they started nailing my wrists and feet I couldn't manage the pain so I shouted and tried to break free while they hammered my limbs to the wood... And then they grabbed the forked staffs and lifted the cross up, pushing the beam from the rear.

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My body was slowly being lifted to the vertical position, until I was hanged high over the heads of the people. I never expected so many of them! Now I saw the hundreds of citizens, gathered around the hilltop. They all arrived to watch me suffering and humiliated and now they were watching me suffering, humiliated and ashamed... Because of course I was ashamed; I was terribly ashamed: my face and chest were red, my hearth was pounding fast, and I felt warmth and trembling between my thighs, seeing so many men and boys watching my shame. All these people, men and women, old and young, looked eagerly on my naked body, strained breasts and uncovered vulva, mostly smiling, pointing me with fingers with curiosity and talking to one another. Some of them, especially old women, were cursing me and some other, mostly younger women were laughing merrily, and adult men were mocking me, making obscene remarks. I saw few my friends too, mostly females and few males, who stared at me and laughed at me with disgust, but no one showed the slightest sign of compassion, and it was especially painful for me...

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But while I was focused of my humiliation the pain in my wounded wrists and feet was growing and growing and now I was no longer able to keep quiet nor to keep my trembling muscles motionless and I begun to writhe in pain and weep, and then I uncontrollably urinated. And I begun to struggle with the gravity, suffering and exhaustion, lifting my body repeatedly a little up and slipping down again although they nailed me strained so I could hardly make any move and I was straining and twisting my body and bending it to the front and to the rear, minute after minute...
hour after hour...
day after day...

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The second day of my agony had ended...

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...but the night didn't brought me any relief.
The waves of pain were flowing between my hands and feet, and the crotch rubbed to blood, piercing my every nerve and tearing apart my whole body in the pitch darkness of the night the same as in the sunshine. The night was cold and it added the unexpected feelings to my torment. I was chilled to the core. The morning mist surrounded me and soon I was moist with a morning dew. My wet hair covered my face. And my muscles were trembling and dithering with cold and it caused constant, exhausting pain in my wounds. Freezing, I emptied my bladder though I died with thirst. The hot stream of urine relieved my torment for the moment. The mix of blood, urine and dew, dripping from the sedile seat - a simple rough plank hammered under my crotch - and from my pierced feet, formed a small pool under the cross. I noticed that I could see this pool and a shady reflection of my cross on it's surface and the streaks of mist - the light of the sun rising somewhere behind the distant mountains made the darkness disappear. Half conscious, I was not sure if I really heard some birds chirps and human voices in the direction of the city gate. Anyway, nothing could be seen in the thickening grey fog.

I closed my eyes, dreaming of doing so for the last time in my wretched life, but I was sure it was only the second night of my agony and not the last one. Oh, gods, why me?

I coughed and the shock of pain in my limbs and crotch pierced me. I cried and opened my eyes. The light grew stronger. I lifted my head up searching for the pale glow of the sun penetrating the thick mist. But I was not a little stupid girl and I know that the sunrise would bring no hope to me. There was no hope in heaven nor on Earth for the crucified criminal, hanged naked on the tree of shame, damned by people and gods, in this life nor in the afterlife.

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Damn the night my mother conceived me and damn the day of my birth!
 
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Keeping up with Andyman... just barely
 

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