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We Three Blokes of Orient Aren't

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Wragg

Chronicler of Crux
Staff member
A slight cavil, Migoz was the one who got to use the whip!
Oooh, sorry! Mind you, Migoz wasn't complaining! :D

As Mark Anthony said, come friend,
Roman, and countryman, lend
Me your ears and I’ll tell
We were under Wragg’s spell,
From beginning to tight little end.
:duke:

thank you for the limericks, Monty and Twonines! I haven't laughed so much for ages!
 

Jollyrei

Angelus Mortis
Staff member
“Ah, so you are the Three Wise Men from the east?”

“Um, well, yes,” said Jollyrei.
Might as well be, I suppose. If she's a queen in a dungeon, we can be wise men. Now, what's the wise thing to do here?

“Like Marcella?” I asked, insensitively.

“Oh no!” wailed Kathy, “Please don’t say that! Barb! They got Marcella!”
Tactlessness is probably not wise.

Your sympathy for them has been noted and will be reported! It is time to leave, Gentlemen.”
I think, you know, Asia Minor...

If the three men would be really wise, they would head immediately to Asia Minor, without looking back!
See? I'm not the only one!

“We’d better go,” even Jollyrei was subdued.
What does that mean? "Even Jollyrei" indeed. I'm a very sensitive person, me, especially when faced with 4 naked women being crucified.

“Shut up. I haven’t got breath to waste. You come blundering in here, asking Herod for directions to a new ruler of the Jews! That camel’s got more wisdom and common sense than the three of you put together!”
She's not entirely wrong... Still, you know, it's that she's under extreme duress.

“When you get to the stable, give my love to my sister. Her name’s Mary. Mary Davidson.”
Bloody hell!
It’s all been a bit embroidered in the telling, so it has been nice to set the record straight.
What? By telling everyone that we're complete pratts? Nice one.
at least wise enough not to attempt to follow a star that half the time is hidden behind cloud, but to follow the directions of a woman.
Well, alright then. We did do that, yeah.

And it’s a damn shame that the courage of Queen Barbaria has been lost to history, because she’s the real star!
Aw. That's sweet. You know, if you want to get to know her better, I know a chap who deals in things like death and resurrection (well, not so much resurrection, but he might be prevailed upon...). ;) :D

Nice work there, Wragg. A fine romp through Judea, and some excellent Christmas tragedy. But next time we head for Asia Minor, nobody is allowed to do any stargazing. I'm still shaken by that crucifixion.
:very_hot::clapping::clapping::clapping::beer:
 

phlebas

PRIMUS POENUS
Staff member
I wrote, not exactly. ;-)
Honestly, I made the manip a few chapter before the story finished.

How could you tell which way the story would end Madi? :D

Now Barb hangs in pain on her cross
For Herod this is no great loss
She refused to swallow
Now she will follow
Marcella and squirm on her cross
 

Loxuru

Graf von Kreuzigung
We’re not kings nor particularly wise, we’re three ordinary blokes who are at least wise enough not to attempt to follow a star that half the time is hidden behind cloud, but to follow the directions of a woman.
Good advice! Considering The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn about to happen on the winter solstice :


This feature could easily be read as a 'sign' to follow.

Since it is visible on the evening sky, stargazing Jollyrei would not need to stay up all night, risking to wake up Bobinder when reentering the tent, and making the latter in a very grumpy mood for all the next day.

On the other hand, since the sign is standing in the western skies, it could mislead the ignorant Magi and draw them to the west.

So there is the story, I once heard from my grand-grandmother, who had it from her grand-grandmother, who had it from...

A story about three wise women, following the sign of Jupiter and Saturn to the west, heading for Jerusalem. Obviously, even in the belief that the Earth would be flat, it meant a little detour.

But Barbaria, Kathy and Marcella were determined to make their way west. Until they were stopped by a mass of water, behind which lay a white continent. The women were warned that the White Continent was populated with fierce unicorns, and giant redhair cyclops, who had once, long before the Deluge, dug the straits separating the White Continent from the mainland, as a protective moat.

The three wise women were convinced however, that the White Continent was the shortest way to Jerusalem, since the sign was leading them there! They had been told in a vison by Archangel Phlebas that the Messiah's sacred feet would once walk upon the pleasant pastures and the mountains green of the White Continent

On the directions given by the archangel, the Wise Women's journey would bring them to the Northern Forest, on the other side of the White Continent, where the good Queen Eulalia would guide them across the forest and fly them on a chariot of fire to the mystererious Fairy Island, landmark in the isthmus with Hibernia, where a hole in the ground would lead them straight to Jerusalem by a subterranean shortcut!

"I will not cease from Mental Fight", Marcella said
"Nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand," Kathy added
"Till we have reached Jerusalem!" Barbaria closed

With letters of credence with the seal of the great Charlemagne, they crossed the moat. No fisherman had dared to ferry them to the White Continent, until two brave women, Messaline and Judith, were prepared to do the risky job.

They were never seen again. Rumours spread that they had fallen in the hands of the cyclops, because their letters of credence were not considered as a valid travel document, since it was validated by someone who would be born only some 750 years later. They had been brought to King Wragg, who just had arrested Queen Eulalia for sedition. All six women got crucified on orders of the King. The place of the execution later became a sanctuary for crucifixion pilgrims, known as Cruxton Abbey.

So, advice to pilgrims to avoid crucifixion : do not follow the stars; consult a map (a recent one, not one showing the Earth flat), don't ask directions, even not from an archangel, and read the fine print of your travel authorisation documents.
 

Barbaria1

Rebel Leader
Staff member
Good advice! Considering The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn about to happen on the winter solstice :


This feature could easily be read as a 'sign' to follow.

Since it is visible on the evening sky, stargazing Jollyrei would not need to stay up all night, risking to wake up Bobinder when reentering the tent, and making the latter in a very grumpy mood for all the next day.

On the other hand, since the sign is standing in the western skies, it could mislead the ignorant Magi and draw them to the west.

So there is the story, I once heard from my grand-grandmother, who had it from her grand-grandmother, who had it from...

A story about three wise women, following the sign of Jupiter and Saturn to the west, heading for Jerusalem. Obviously, even in the belief that the Earth would be flat, it meant a little detour.

But Barbaria, Kathy and Marcella were determined to make their way west. Until they were stopped by a mass of water, behind which lay a white continent. The women were warned that the White Continent was populated with fierce unicorns, and giant redhair cyclops, who had once, long before the Deluge, dug the straits separating the White Continent from the mainland, as a protective moat.

The three wise women were convinced however, that the White Continent was the shortest way to Jerusalem, since the sign was leading them there! They had been told in a vison by Archangel Phlebas that the Messiah's sacred feet would once walk upon the pleasant pastures and the mountains green of the White Continent

On the directions given by the archangel, the Wise Women's journey would bring them to the Northern Forest, on the other side of the White Continent, where the good Queen Eulalia would guide them across the forest and fly them on a chariot of fire to the mystererious Fairy Island, landmark in the isthmus with Hibernia, where a hole in the ground would lead them straight to Jerusalem by a subterranean shortcut!

"I will not cease from Mental Fight", Marcella said
"Nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand," Kathy added
"Till we have reached Jerusalem!" Barbaria closed

With letters of credence with the seal of the great Charlemagne, they crossed the moat. No fisherman had dared to ferry them to the White Continent, until two brave women, Messaline and Judith, were prepared to do the risky job.

They were never seen again. Rumours spread that they had fallen in the hands of the cyclops, because their letters of credence were not considered as a valid travel document, since it was validated by someone who would be born only some 750 years later. They had been brought to King Wragg, who just had arrested Queen Eulalia for sedition. All six women got crucified on orders of the King. The place of the execution later became a sanctuary for crucifixion pilgrims, known as Cruxton Abbey.

So, advice to pilgrims to avoid crucifixion : do not follow the stars; consult a map (a recent one, not one showing the Earth flat), don't ask directions, even not from an archangel, and read the fine print of your travel authorisation documents.
Very cleverly done! :clapping:
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
Good advice! Considering The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn about to happen on the winter solstice :


This feature could easily be read as a 'sign' to follow.

Since it is visible on the evening sky, stargazing Jollyrei would not need to stay up all night, risking to wake up Bobinder when reentering the tent, and making the latter in a very grumpy mood for all the next day.

On the other hand, since the sign is standing in the western skies, it could mislead the ignorant Magi and draw them to the west.

So there is the story, I once heard from my grand-grandmother, who had it from her grand-grandmother, who had it from...

A story about three wise women, following the sign of Jupiter and Saturn to the west, heading for Jerusalem. Obviously, even in the belief that the Earth would be flat, it meant a little detour.

But Barbaria, Kathy and Marcella were determined to make their way west. Until they were stopped by a mass of water, behind which lay a white continent. The women were warned that the White Continent was populated with fierce unicorns, and giant redhair cyclops, who had once, long before the Deluge, dug the straits separating the White Continent from the mainland, as a protective moat.

The three wise women were convinced however, that the White Continent was the shortest way to Jerusalem, since the sign was leading them there! They had been told in a vison by Archangel Phlebas that the Messiah's sacred feet would once walk upon the pleasant pastures and the mountains green of the White Continent

On the directions given by the archangel, the Wise Women's journey would bring them to the Northern Forest, on the other side of the White Continent, where the good Queen Eulalia would guide them across the forest and fly them on a chariot of fire to the mystererious Fairy Island, landmark in the isthmus with Hibernia, where a hole in the ground would lead them straight to Jerusalem by a subterranean shortcut!

"I will not cease from Mental Fight", Marcella said
"Nor shall my Sword sleep in my hand," Kathy added
"Till we have reached Jerusalem!" Barbaria closed

With letters of credence with the seal of the great Charlemagne, they crossed the moat. No fisherman had dared to ferry them to the White Continent, until two brave women, Messaline and Judith, were prepared to do the risky job.

They were never seen again. Rumours spread that they had fallen in the hands of the cyclops, because their letters of credence were not considered as a valid travel document, since it was validated by someone who would be born only some 750 years later. They had been brought to King Wragg, who just had arrested Queen Eulalia for sedition. All six women got crucified on orders of the King. The place of the execution later became a sanctuary for crucifixion pilgrims, known as Cruxton Abbey.

So, advice to pilgrims to avoid crucifixion : do not follow the stars; consult a map (a recent one, not one showing the Earth flat), don't ask directions, even not from an archangel, and read the fine print of your travel authorisation documents.
I fear this planetary conjunction portends a painful separation from the starry continent by a white-ish island. But the elves and linkies will remain in hiding in The Northern Forest keeping in secret communication with the rest of the planet through the mystic brotherhood and sisterhood of the CruxForums, until the day dawns when we can all be crucified together bathed in endless light ...
 
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