And all of the State of Arkansas too ...
A corruption of "tight little" ...
Pussy?????
Ohhhhhhhhhh, I hate that name!
I sense that Wragg is getting overheated here ,,,
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She Is Not A Witch!
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And all of the State of Arkansas too ...
A corruption of "tight little" ...
Pussy?????
Ohhhhhhhhhh, I hate that name!
I sense that Wragg is getting overheated here ,,,
windar
Teller of Tales
I knowOhhhhhhhhhh, I hate that name!
I hold it in reserve, like the nuclear option. Only for deterrence of course....
Well, I'm bloody useless. I hope I bake better than I figure things out.
I don't suppose she can just purr or meow the spell?
You know, she's been a cat now for over a year, so she either can't do the spell, or she likes it that way. And it's not a bad life - saucers of milk, comfy sofas, and lots of sleep. Either way, you have a bit of a predicament. 
Do you like kittens?
I mean, if it wasn't you doing the writing (and overheating), I'd worry you had written yourself into the proverbial corner.Ain't that the truth?
I don't suppose she can just purr or meow the spell?
Interesting thought - I've always felt an affinity with cats - much more than with dogs -
but outdoor cats, night-time prowlers, hunters and seekers,
not spoilt brat-cats that flop about on comfy sofas -
'I am the cat that walks by herself ... '
(but I can spell
)
And so, a way out presents itself.(but I can spell
windar
Teller of Tales
Eul, you are a terrific speller in multiple languages. And the image of cats wandering is very poetic. But cats are hunters and very good at it. Too good. Outdoor cats are devastating to bird populations. https://abcbirds.org/program/cats-indoors/cats-and-birds/ And the cats can get serious diseases like FeLV and FIV.Interesting thought - I've always felt an affinity with cats - much more than with dogs -
but outdoor cats, night-time prowlers, hunters and seekers,
not spoilt brat-cats that flop about on comfy sofas -
'I am the cat that walks by herself ... '
View attachment 637859
(but I can spell
Sorry for the note of RL dangers, now back to the story...
Oh dear, so I have.I mean, if it wasn't you doing the writing (and overheating), I'd worry you had written yourself into the proverbial corner.
The End
Well, I am fond of things that are soft and tickle, and of warm things to hold in my arms when I go to sleep. I am fond of being played with.Interesting thought - I've always felt an affinity with cats - much more than with dogs -
but outdoor cats, night-time prowlers, hunters and seekers,
not spoilt brat-cats that flop about on comfy sofas -
'I am the cat that walks by herself ... '
View attachment 637859
(but I can spell
Maybe Barb's time has come!
I've got 3.5 outdoor cats and 4.5 indoor cats. The double '.5' one is staying in more as the temperature drops. The 3 outdoor cats have heating pads to sleep on. The four indoor ones at least use the litter boxes. Am I blessed?Interesting thought - I've always felt an affinity with cats - much more than with dogs -
but outdoor cats, night-time prowlers, hunters and seekers,
not spoilt brat-cats that flop about on comfy sofas -
'I am the cat that walks by herself ... '
View attachment 637859
(but I can spell
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
If Barb still can give demerits while turned into a cat!Ohhhhhhhhhh, I hate that name!
Then Eul turned into a cat must be capable for the spell (using her tail as wand?).I don't suppose she can just purr or meow the spell?
Crux-Emperor Baracus X
Rectidolor
For fear of gaining Barb's demerits I won't make the usual double entendre about her Pussy.... OOPS !!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Great Image!Interesting thought - I've always felt an affinity with cats - much more than with dogs -
but outdoor cats, night-time prowlers, hunters and seekers,
not spoilt brat-cats that flop about on comfy sofas -
'I am the cat that walks by herself ... '
View attachment 637859
(but I can spell
And speaking as a somewhat abnormal man, I've always loved pussies!
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With a heavy heart I trudged home from Brigg’s shop. That was that. Nothing to be done.
Getting home, I found that the kids were still out on a country ramble with my mother. I got myself a mug of ale, put a log on the fire, and drew a chair up close to it.
I sighed, deeply.
Barb mewed, and jumped into my lap. I stroked her head.
“Briggs doesn’t know how to reverse the spell. Only Eul can do this, and she can’t tell us.”
She stopped purring, and gave me exactly the same look that Eul had done. It said, “Surely even a clot like you can figure this out?”
But I could not. ‘Expecto Felis!’ – that had been the spell he’d used. ‘Felis’ was Latin for cat. The parson used a lot of Latin.
What was the Latin for ‘human’? Come ON, Wragg! The parson said it only a week or two ago! Homo! Homo! That was it! ‘Ecce Homo’ – that’s what the parson had said.
With mounting excitement, I got up and sat Barb on the chair. I needed a wand. I had a wooden spoon, that would have to do. I waved it theatrically, handle first, and pointed it at Barb.
“Expecto Homo!”
Barb gave me one long, disdainful look, then turned her back on me, tail swishing angrily.
She was still, very definitely, a cat.
I went over to her. “I’m sorry, Barb. I know this can’t be easy for you, either.“
She remained in a state of high dudgeon.
“I suppose Briggs could turn me into a cat, and then maybe I would understand Cat-ese?”
That earned me another withering look. Then, suddenly, she sprang. High up, about six feet, onto a shelf. There was one item up there, a book of drawings of wild animals that my father had produced. He had used it to teach me the names of all the animals in the woods and fields round about. Barb pushed it off the shelf.
“What did you do that for?” I retrieved it. Happily, it wasn’t damaged.
She sat up there glaring at me, willing me to understand.
“Might I be of assistance?” A voice came from behind me. In a classic example of role reversal it was me who jumped like a cat and Barb who remained completely placid.
“What the…. Jolly! Have you come to sweep my cottage?” Jolly stood in my doorway holding not one, but two brooms.
“No, I haven’t,” he replied vaguely, “I think Barb is suggesting that we look for Eulalia’s book of spells.”
I just gaped at him, while Barb jumped lightly down from the shelf and displayed her delight by rubbing back and forth against Jolly’s leg, purring loudly.
“H-how…?” I croaked, eventually.
“How did I know that your cat was your wife? Barb knows, don’t you?”
She gave a little ‘mew’ of assent and continued purring and rubbing.
“Y-you’re one too!” I exploded, “By the Saints! Am I the only person in this town who isn’t a sorcerer?”
“We considered initiating you, Wragg, but Barb didn’t think you were….ah…suitable. Eulalia agreed, after she met you.”
My mind reeled. I’d had a pleasant enough chat with Eulalia a few years ago. I’d had no idea that I was being vetted. Still less that I had failed some sort of a test.
“Anyway, Wragg, it’s been great to chat, but Barb and I have places to go. Barb, Briggs has been arrested, they've got Eul, Kathy, and Missy caged up, and they’re on their way now to arrest you and Wragg! We have no time to lose! Here, I brought this for you.” He laid one of the broomsticks on the ground. Barb lay on it, wrapping her paws around the stem, and, to my horror, it rose about three feet off the ground.
I crossed myself, terrified.
Jolly climbed onto his stick. ”So long, Wragg!” Barb hissed at him. “What’s up Barb? Surely you don’t want to bring him along?”
She gazed into his eyes. “God, yes!” he said, clapping a hand to his forehead. “He knows too much! Wragg, get onto that stick behind Barb, and hold tight!”
Barely knowing what I was doing, I straddled the stick, and grabbed the handle with both hands. Barb yowled. I let go of her tail and adjusted my grip. Serves her right. Not ‘I love him’, but ‘He knows too much.’
With a whoosh, Jolly shot out of the open door. Barb and I followed close behind.
I tried not to scream as we soared high into the air.
To be continued
Getting home, I found that the kids were still out on a country ramble with my mother. I got myself a mug of ale, put a log on the fire, and drew a chair up close to it.
I sighed, deeply.
Barb mewed, and jumped into my lap. I stroked her head.
“Briggs doesn’t know how to reverse the spell. Only Eul can do this, and she can’t tell us.”
She stopped purring, and gave me exactly the same look that Eul had done. It said, “Surely even a clot like you can figure this out?”
But I could not. ‘Expecto Felis!’ – that had been the spell he’d used. ‘Felis’ was Latin for cat. The parson used a lot of Latin.
What was the Latin for ‘human’? Come ON, Wragg! The parson said it only a week or two ago! Homo! Homo! That was it! ‘Ecce Homo’ – that’s what the parson had said.
With mounting excitement, I got up and sat Barb on the chair. I needed a wand. I had a wooden spoon, that would have to do. I waved it theatrically, handle first, and pointed it at Barb.
“Expecto Homo!”
Barb gave me one long, disdainful look, then turned her back on me, tail swishing angrily.
She was still, very definitely, a cat.
I went over to her. “I’m sorry, Barb. I know this can’t be easy for you, either.“
She remained in a state of high dudgeon.
“I suppose Briggs could turn me into a cat, and then maybe I would understand Cat-ese?”
That earned me another withering look. Then, suddenly, she sprang. High up, about six feet, onto a shelf. There was one item up there, a book of drawings of wild animals that my father had produced. He had used it to teach me the names of all the animals in the woods and fields round about. Barb pushed it off the shelf.
“What did you do that for?” I retrieved it. Happily, it wasn’t damaged.
She sat up there glaring at me, willing me to understand.
“Might I be of assistance?” A voice came from behind me. In a classic example of role reversal it was me who jumped like a cat and Barb who remained completely placid.
“What the…. Jolly! Have you come to sweep my cottage?” Jolly stood in my doorway holding not one, but two brooms.
“No, I haven’t,” he replied vaguely, “I think Barb is suggesting that we look for Eulalia’s book of spells.”
I just gaped at him, while Barb jumped lightly down from the shelf and displayed her delight by rubbing back and forth against Jolly’s leg, purring loudly.
“H-how…?” I croaked, eventually.
“How did I know that your cat was your wife? Barb knows, don’t you?”
She gave a little ‘mew’ of assent and continued purring and rubbing.
“Y-you’re one too!” I exploded, “By the Saints! Am I the only person in this town who isn’t a sorcerer?”
“We considered initiating you, Wragg, but Barb didn’t think you were….ah…suitable. Eulalia agreed, after she met you.”
My mind reeled. I’d had a pleasant enough chat with Eulalia a few years ago. I’d had no idea that I was being vetted. Still less that I had failed some sort of a test.
“Anyway, Wragg, it’s been great to chat, but Barb and I have places to go. Barb, Briggs has been arrested, they've got Eul, Kathy, and Missy caged up, and they’re on their way now to arrest you and Wragg! We have no time to lose! Here, I brought this for you.” He laid one of the broomsticks on the ground. Barb lay on it, wrapping her paws around the stem, and, to my horror, it rose about three feet off the ground.
I crossed myself, terrified.
Jolly climbed onto his stick. ”So long, Wragg!” Barb hissed at him. “What’s up Barb? Surely you don’t want to bring him along?”
She gazed into his eyes. “God, yes!” he said, clapping a hand to his forehead. “He knows too much! Wragg, get onto that stick behind Barb, and hold tight!”
Barely knowing what I was doing, I straddled the stick, and grabbed the handle with both hands. Barb yowled. I let go of her tail and adjusted my grip. Serves her right. Not ‘I love him’, but ‘He knows too much.’
With a whoosh, Jolly shot out of the open door. Barb and I followed close behind.
I tried not to scream as we soared high into the air.
To be continued
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windar
Teller of Tales
Careful, you may turn Barb into a human who will leave you for a woman...
She does that to me too, Wragg
There is no cure for stupid...
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
I'm so confused
Are we supposed to believe that Barb is the smart one here?. Impossible. Unless we have been transferred to some Seinfeld "Bizarro universe" when everything is backwards
. But even then, Barb being smart strains credibility.
I'm so confused
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Ouch! Five demerits? I didn't think she could count that high!