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M*A*S*H DIARY
- Thread starter Barbaria1
- Start date
Good to see you back on the story, Barb!
I’m not going to die, Jolly. really, I’m not! Just a few dozen lashes and it’ll all be over
"Kindly", yes. Remind me to return your dictionary sometime.
Tree remembers nothing except
I’m not going to die, Jolly. really, I’m not! Just a few dozen lashes and it’ll all be over
Loxuru
Graf von Kreuzigung
You see, Lieutenant : just like standing in attention on the parade! There is nothing difficult or hard about it. Simply follow the advice, and your sentence will feel like a fondling!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
And writing fiction!
Hope that was a pleasant dream...even if only a dream
You see, Lieutenant : just like standing in attention on the parade! There is nothing difficult or hard about it. Simply follow the advice, and your sentence will feel like a fondling!
OS makes it all sound so parade ground simple
You mean this whole thing is just a dream ... do you mean Tree actually fu .... oh Shit!
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
OS makes it all sound so parade ground simple
Too many Madame Wu's, Lieutenant, check your facts, OS has fallen asleep again!
windar
Teller of Tales
It's a knack from long experience in saving Moore's tight little. Oh, am I going to do that here? We'll have to see about that!
But entertaining, for those of us watching (or viewing the photos)
What's he measuring this time? Or is this for more (Moore?) photos?
I know, I know, my kind heart will be the death of me. Far too lenient, I am.
That’s why you’re the CO of a loony bin like the 4078th
You think I should take a firmer line? Stick with the original sentence?
96 strokes on the bare back (and buttocks), witnessed by the whole unit.
Or do you prefer my leniency, now?
I'll put it on my 'to-do' list
Really? That will be a first!
Don't we? I say, dash it, that is a shame, what?
But he's a useful fellow to have about.
Thought perhaps one ought to get a bit of practice in on the skin grafting technique...
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
I was referring to the wildly imaginative 118 lbs!Hope that was a pleasant dream...even if only a dream
You mean this whole thing is just a dream ... do you mean Tree actually fu .... oh Shit!
Don't we? I say, dash it, that is a shame, what?
But he's a useful fellow to have about.
mortuaries and cemeteries mostly
Are you questioning the veracity of my claim?
RacingRodent
Consul
Are you questioning the veracity of my claim?
He's a General, it has been a while since he has had to try the same chow as the rest of us
He's a General, it has been a while since he has had to try the same chow as the rest of us
Famous in the case of the rodent enlisted ranks of reportedly saying “let them eat nuts!”
That's the spirit, girls - chin up, take it on the butt - or boobs, or wherever - I know you won't let the team down.
In my training days, we were given plenty of practice dancing to the whip, twice a week and double rations on public holidays -
it's only since this new-fangled United Nations Declaration of Human RIghts got put around
that the pinko papers have been calling for nurse-flogging to be banned - preposterous nonsense, of course!
windar
Teller of Tales
“Now, now ladies, you just do whatever it is you were going to do and pretend like I’m not here,” Captain Windar Goldman uttered jauntily as he breezed into the tent.
He couldn’t help but notice that the two Lieutenants had screwed up their noses. ‘Damn!’ he thought. ’The smell from the latrines is overpowering the “Nuits de Brooklyn” cologne he had dropped $ 1.25 on at Fratelli’s Drugs on Flatbush Avenue before shipping out.’ Old Mr. Fratelli hadn’t reckoned with the delights of a war zone when he had assured him it was “Can’t miss with the dames.”
“What did you think we were going to be doing?” Lieutenant Moore asked.
“You know, that thespian stuff,” he joked. He thought she was acting a bit cheeky to a superior officer, the kind of thing that had landed her in this predicament in the first place, but he supposed she didn’t have much to lose at this point.
“Thespian?” Lieutenant Brave asked. “You mean lesbian, don’t you?”
“Yeah, lesbian, whatever,” Goldman allowed, “You know, hot girl-on-girl action. I just assumed that with a real ordeal facing both of you tomorrow in the AM, you might both want a bit of comforting, if you get my drift.” Windar winked suggestively.
“May I ask what business of yours that might be?” Erin asked.
“Well, a friend of mine back in Med School used to tell me that only another woman really knew how to please a woman,” Windar replied. “Which, if you think about it, is kind of strange, because I’m a man and I would much rather be pleased by a woman than another man, if you get my drift.”
The two women looked at each other oddly. “Of course, Lieutenant Moore is a bit deficient in a certain area of pleasing men, but I’m sure she could learn if she set her mind to it and practiced. That’s something we could work on right now, if you’d like Barb. No time, like the present, as they say.”
“You really do have a lot of nerve, don’t you, Captain Goldman?” Barb replied.
“Growing up in Brooklyn, you’d better,” Goldman replied. “In Yiddish, it’s called ‘chutzpah’, defined as killing your parents and throwing yourself on the mercy of the Court because you’re an orphan. Maybe you ought to have tried that at the court martial, Lieutenant Brave?” He could see Erin smiling despite herself, or so he imagined.
“Anyway, I was hoping you two could just carry on as though I weren’t here,” he continued. “I’ll just sit here quietly and take notes; some of those moves could come in handy some time. You never know, right?”
Barb looked annoyed. “Is there any purpose to this visit, Captain? Because, otherwise, Erin and I would really like to prepare ourselves for tomorrow.”
“Well, since you mention it, there is, actually. Army regs-you probably know this better than I, Lieutenant Brave- require that before a prisoner can be flogged, a doctor must certify that they are fit to withstand the punishment ordered by the Court.”
Barb looked at Erin. “Seriously?” she asked.
Erin looked a bit nonplussed. “Um, well, I’d have to look it up, and obviously I don’t have the relevant citations with me, but, um, possibly.”
“I thought you said, you’d have my back, Erin,” Barb complained.
“I don’t think I’d want to have either of your backs tomorrow,” Goldman quipped. “But unless Miss Legal Eagle there can find a solid reason why I can’t, I’m going to have to examine both of you very carefully.” He extracted a stethoscope from his pocket and knelt beside Barb.
“This place is crawling with doctors. How did you get picked to do this, Captain Goldman?” she asked.
“We drew cards from the deck and I won, I mean I lost and got tasked with performing this unpleasant, but necessary examination. It’s a dirty rotten job, but someone’s got to do it, right?” Barb rolled her eyes.
Windar was maneuvering his stethoscope between Barb’s breasts, taking great care to fondle the luscious tissue as much as he could get away with. “I don’t recall that grabbing a feel is part of the procedure, Doctor,” she protested.
“Nurses get an abbreviated curriculum, Lieutenant. We doctors are taught to be thorough. Now breathe deeply.”
“If I did, I would choke on the fumes from your cologne, Doctor. Besides, don’t you think you should put the other ends of the stethoscope in your ears?”
Windar removed the implement, taking equal care to fully examine the mammary tissue on the way out as he had on the way in. “Well, I’m sure your heart and lungs are fine, Lieutenant . Now would you spread your legs, please.”
“What?” Barb and Erin protested in unison.
“The flogging is going to be on our backs,” Erin said. “What possible purpose could there be in examining down there?”
Windar thought quickly. “Well if either of you were pregnant, that would be a valid reason to delay the punishment until after delivery. And in Moore’s case, given what she’s been doing since her arrival here, that’s certainly a distinct possibility.”
“And you can tell just by feeling, can you, Doctor? I’ve only been here a week, after all. I may only be an ignorant nurse, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t possible,” Barb said.
“Look,” Windar replied, pretending to be exasperated. “If you want to keep arguing with a superior officer, we can reconvene the Court Martial and see if they want to tack on another few dozen. Now open those legs a bit wider, please, Nurse.”
Reluctantly, Barb spread her legs, so that the good doctor could insert two fingers into her pussy and feel around for as long as his very loose sense of medical ethics permitted. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t think you are pregnant. But you are awfully wet. You guys didn’t get into Tree’s Horny Powder did you?”
Windar thought he saw Erin wink at Barb, “Now I really do want to stick around and watch the fireworks. Just one more thing to check, though-temperature. And I have just the thermometer to do the job, Lieutenant Moore. Now open wide.” He began unzipping his trousers.
“Alright, Captain, that’s enough!” Erin cried. “I don’t need to have the regulations in front of me to know that is way out of bounds. “
“Very well, Lieutenant Brave,” Windar replied. “Have it your way. I’m certifying you both as fit to be flogged. Satisfied now?”
Barb looked at Erin with a look of admiration and lust on her face. “We’ve accepted our fate. Now would you leave us in peace? We don’t want to be watched. We’re not a spectacle for your amusement or to learn tips to try on other women, OK,” she pleaded.
“Yes, I just want to make it up to Barb for having failed in my defense of her,” Erin said.
“And I want to make it up to Erin for getting her into this mess in the first place,” Barb added.
Windar felt, perhaps for the first time in this place, a sense of shame. “You’re right, ladies. I’ll leave you now and wish you a pleasant evening.” As he reached the door, he turned and saw that the two women were already locked in a passionate embrace. “You know that Tree’s Horny Powder is just sugar, don’t you? A placebo.” He didn’t think they heard or that it would have made any difference if they had.
He couldn’t help but notice that the two Lieutenants had screwed up their noses. ‘Damn!’ he thought. ’The smell from the latrines is overpowering the “Nuits de Brooklyn” cologne he had dropped $ 1.25 on at Fratelli’s Drugs on Flatbush Avenue before shipping out.’ Old Mr. Fratelli hadn’t reckoned with the delights of a war zone when he had assured him it was “Can’t miss with the dames.”
“What did you think we were going to be doing?” Lieutenant Moore asked.
“You know, that thespian stuff,” he joked. He thought she was acting a bit cheeky to a superior officer, the kind of thing that had landed her in this predicament in the first place, but he supposed she didn’t have much to lose at this point.
“Thespian?” Lieutenant Brave asked. “You mean lesbian, don’t you?”
“Yeah, lesbian, whatever,” Goldman allowed, “You know, hot girl-on-girl action. I just assumed that with a real ordeal facing both of you tomorrow in the AM, you might both want a bit of comforting, if you get my drift.” Windar winked suggestively.
“May I ask what business of yours that might be?” Erin asked.
“Well, a friend of mine back in Med School used to tell me that only another woman really knew how to please a woman,” Windar replied. “Which, if you think about it, is kind of strange, because I’m a man and I would much rather be pleased by a woman than another man, if you get my drift.”
The two women looked at each other oddly. “Of course, Lieutenant Moore is a bit deficient in a certain area of pleasing men, but I’m sure she could learn if she set her mind to it and practiced. That’s something we could work on right now, if you’d like Barb. No time, like the present, as they say.”
“You really do have a lot of nerve, don’t you, Captain Goldman?” Barb replied.
“Growing up in Brooklyn, you’d better,” Goldman replied. “In Yiddish, it’s called ‘chutzpah’, defined as killing your parents and throwing yourself on the mercy of the Court because you’re an orphan. Maybe you ought to have tried that at the court martial, Lieutenant Brave?” He could see Erin smiling despite herself, or so he imagined.
“Anyway, I was hoping you two could just carry on as though I weren’t here,” he continued. “I’ll just sit here quietly and take notes; some of those moves could come in handy some time. You never know, right?”
Barb looked annoyed. “Is there any purpose to this visit, Captain? Because, otherwise, Erin and I would really like to prepare ourselves for tomorrow.”
“Well, since you mention it, there is, actually. Army regs-you probably know this better than I, Lieutenant Brave- require that before a prisoner can be flogged, a doctor must certify that they are fit to withstand the punishment ordered by the Court.”
Barb looked at Erin. “Seriously?” she asked.
Erin looked a bit nonplussed. “Um, well, I’d have to look it up, and obviously I don’t have the relevant citations with me, but, um, possibly.”
“I thought you said, you’d have my back, Erin,” Barb complained.
“I don’t think I’d want to have either of your backs tomorrow,” Goldman quipped. “But unless Miss Legal Eagle there can find a solid reason why I can’t, I’m going to have to examine both of you very carefully.” He extracted a stethoscope from his pocket and knelt beside Barb.
“This place is crawling with doctors. How did you get picked to do this, Captain Goldman?” she asked.
“We drew cards from the deck and I won, I mean I lost and got tasked with performing this unpleasant, but necessary examination. It’s a dirty rotten job, but someone’s got to do it, right?” Barb rolled her eyes.
Windar was maneuvering his stethoscope between Barb’s breasts, taking great care to fondle the luscious tissue as much as he could get away with. “I don’t recall that grabbing a feel is part of the procedure, Doctor,” she protested.
“Nurses get an abbreviated curriculum, Lieutenant. We doctors are taught to be thorough. Now breathe deeply.”
“If I did, I would choke on the fumes from your cologne, Doctor. Besides, don’t you think you should put the other ends of the stethoscope in your ears?”
Windar removed the implement, taking equal care to fully examine the mammary tissue on the way out as he had on the way in. “Well, I’m sure your heart and lungs are fine, Lieutenant . Now would you spread your legs, please.”
“What?” Barb and Erin protested in unison.
“The flogging is going to be on our backs,” Erin said. “What possible purpose could there be in examining down there?”
Windar thought quickly. “Well if either of you were pregnant, that would be a valid reason to delay the punishment until after delivery. And in Moore’s case, given what she’s been doing since her arrival here, that’s certainly a distinct possibility.”
“And you can tell just by feeling, can you, Doctor? I’ve only been here a week, after all. I may only be an ignorant nurse, but I’m pretty sure that isn’t possible,” Barb said.
“Look,” Windar replied, pretending to be exasperated. “If you want to keep arguing with a superior officer, we can reconvene the Court Martial and see if they want to tack on another few dozen. Now open those legs a bit wider, please, Nurse.”
Reluctantly, Barb spread her legs, so that the good doctor could insert two fingers into her pussy and feel around for as long as his very loose sense of medical ethics permitted. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t think you are pregnant. But you are awfully wet. You guys didn’t get into Tree’s Horny Powder did you?”
Windar thought he saw Erin wink at Barb, “Now I really do want to stick around and watch the fireworks. Just one more thing to check, though-temperature. And I have just the thermometer to do the job, Lieutenant Moore. Now open wide.” He began unzipping his trousers.
“Alright, Captain, that’s enough!” Erin cried. “I don’t need to have the regulations in front of me to know that is way out of bounds. “
“Very well, Lieutenant Brave,” Windar replied. “Have it your way. I’m certifying you both as fit to be flogged. Satisfied now?”
Barb looked at Erin with a look of admiration and lust on her face. “We’ve accepted our fate. Now would you leave us in peace? We don’t want to be watched. We’re not a spectacle for your amusement or to learn tips to try on other women, OK,” she pleaded.
“Yes, I just want to make it up to Barb for having failed in my defense of her,” Erin said.
“And I want to make it up to Erin for getting her into this mess in the first place,” Barb added.
Windar felt, perhaps for the first time in this place, a sense of shame. “You’re right, ladies. I’ll leave you now and wish you a pleasant evening.” As he reached the door, he turned and saw that the two women were already locked in a passionate embrace. “You know that Tree’s Horny Powder is just sugar, don’t you? A placebo.” He didn’t think they heard or that it would have made any difference if they had.