Yupar
Regina Iudaeorum
Me too Eul....i will b crazy if i hvnt landed here, Our beloved CF zone..n met Siss n all of u...we r a family of crux.. It is so lucky i found this place...I've had fantasies about going through all the experiences that Jesus went through -
scourging, humiliation, via crucis, nailing, thirst and agony on the Cross,
ever since I first heard about them in detail when I was about 12 -
and I imagine lots of additional cruelties being inflicted on me as I'm a woman.
But of course I couldn't experience all - hardly any - of that in real life,
'crux play' for me is too far from the real thing,
but I enjoy other kinds of play that arouse similar sensations -
bondage, whipping, just being a slavegirl ....
I don't think I'm out of my mind -
of course I worried about these strange desires for many years,
and my sub/ masochist nature didn't make for successful relationships with men,
who either failed to understand or simply exploited my nature,
but I've come to terms with those feelings and am at ease with myself now,
and this lovely Crux-Community has helped me a lot!
n all of YOU...