Sarah Fischer’s bout with the law

[thehangingtree]

Sarah Fischer lives a comfortable life with what seems to have few troubles in it. She has enough money to spend freely and is young and quite good looking.

She has a wealth boyfriend and that is her problem. You see, he also has another girlfiend, a well-known fashion model.

Sarah has the solution for the other girlfriend- a single shot to the woman’s chest with a large caliber bullet.

Sarah did not realize that the murder was caught on the home’s security cameras. She was quick tracked down and arrested for killing the woman.

After being strip and cavity searched (and fucked by the jail guards on duty) Sarah is placed in a cell to wait for her trial.

Of course, she is denied even a prison jumpsuit so she cannot use it to hang herself.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

she is denied even a prison jumpsuit so she cannot use it to hang herself.

Excellent precaution. It would be a travesty if she hung!

 

[Migoz2]

Excellent precaution. It would be a travesty if she hung!

It would be a travesty if she hanged herself.......

 

[Rias]

me think sarah Michelle gellar in call of duty game and later they smile me no have blonde hairs but black

 

[Apostate]

It would be a travesty if she hanged herself.......

Grammar policing?

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

Grammar policing?

I should never be the one to police grammar. It would be like Pablo Escobar being made chief of drug enforcement. Clearly more a role for @Eulalia or @old slave who both have an excellent ear for it.

I choose to write "if she hung," purposely obscuring the subject of the verb. I wanted to be somewhat unserious since clearly, given a @thehangingtree story, hanging would be on the menu, but to seem to be pious to object to any death by hanging.

Migoz choose to say "she hanged herself" catching the true intent of my tongue-in-cheek objection, and the desire to see her forced to go through the humiliation and eventual strangulation Tree must have in mind.

Whether either or both are grammatically correct, I haven't a clue.

 

[Migoz2]

Grammar policing?

I am certainly tough on dangling participles.

Whether either or both are grammatically correct, I haven't a clue.

Technically, if a person is suspended from a rope as a judicial punishment, they are 'hanged'. If you put a picture on a wall, it is hung. Grammar pedants can argue this one.

Migoz choose to say "she hanged herself" catching the true intent of my tongue-in-cheek objection, and the desire to see her forced to go through the humiliation and eventual strangulation Tree must have in mind.

Yes. I gave up my grammar police badge long ago (marking essays can do that to you!)

 

[Eulalia]

I should never be the one to police grammar. It would be like Pablo Escobar being made chief of drug enforcement. Clearly more a role for @Eulalia or @old slave who both have an excellent ear for it.

I choose to write "if she hung," purposely obscuring the subject of the verb. I wanted to be somewhat unserious since clearly, given a @thehangingtree story, hanging would be on the menu, but to seem to be pious to object to any death by hanging.

Migoz choose to say "she hanged herself" catching the true intent of my tongue-in-cheek objection, and the desire to see her forced to go through the humiliation and eventual strangulation Tree must have in mind.

Whether either or both are grammatically correct, I haven't a clue.

I think they're both grammatically correct, using the past forms as a subjunctive after 'if'-
more traditional, but wordy, forms would be - 'if she were to hang herself,' 'if she were to hang'.
And while Migoz's is correct, 'hanged' is generally used of someone judicially executed, or a suicide,
that is transitive (albeit passive/ reflexive); PrPr wanted to avoid specifying who was responsible,
so correctly, if rather unusually, used the intransitive 'if she hung'
(though he didn't actually 'suppress the subject of the verb', which is 'she',
he avoided specifying the agent)

 

[Migoz2]

This conversation reminds me of an exchange from The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930)

Oliver : Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?
Stanley : Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?
Oliver : Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?
Stanley : No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.
Oliver : Was he building a house?
Stanley : No, they were hanging him.

 

[thehangingtree]

I think they're both grammatically correct, using the past forms as a subjunctive after 'if'-
more traditional, but wordy, forms would be - 'if she were to hang herself,' 'if she were to hang'.
And while Migoz's is correct, 'hanged' is generally used of someone judicially executed, or a suicide,
that is transitive (albeit passive/ reflexive); PrPr wanted to avoid specifying who was responsible,
so correctly, if rather unusually, used the intransitive 'if she hung'
(though he didn't actually 'suppress the subject of the verb', which is 'she',
he avoided specifying the agent)

I've never had a thread break out in grammar debate before...

 

[Loxuru]

The most weird grammatical twist is that everybody is discussing the verb 'hanging', while she is denied a jumpsuit!?

Read it carefully : 'jump'-suit. Not 'hanging' suit.

 

[Apostate]

I think they're both grammatically correct, using the past forms as a subjunctive after 'if'-
more traditional, but wordy, forms would be - 'if she were to hang herself,' 'if she were to hang'.
And while Migoz's is correct, 'hanged' is generally used of someone judicially executed, or a suicide,
that is transitive (albeit passive/ reflexive); PrPr wanted to avoid specifying who was responsible,
so correctly, if rather unusually, used the intransitive 'if she hung'
(though he didn't actually 'suppress the subject of the verb', which is 'she',
he avoided specifying the agent)

MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

This conversation reminds me of an exchange from The Laurel-Hardy Murder Case (1930)

Oliver : Didn't you once tell me that you had an uncle?
Stanley : Sure, I've got an uncle. Why?
Oliver : Now we're getting somewhere. Is he living?
Stanley : No. He fell through a trap door and broke his neck.
Oliver : Was he building a house?
Stanley : No, they were hanging him.

A: That's Nothing! I had an uncle who was a great conductor.
B: Really, what orchestra did he conduct?
A: Oh no. He wasn't musical at all.
B: Oh, I see, he worked on the train or the streetcar?
A: No, he never really held down a steady job.
B: Then how can you say he was a great conductor?
A: He was struck by lighting!

That's it. I finished hijacking thread.

Unless this jurisdiction uses the electric chair.

 

[thehangingtree]

MY BRAIN HURTS!!!!

So let's see what happens to Sarah...

Sarah’s trial comes about swiftly. One does not kill a wealthy fashion model who has a well-connected multi-millionaire boyfriend and waits long to go to court. Sarah is brought to court wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, handcuffs, and restraint chains. The trial takes only a couple of hours (mostly for court-required formalities) and the jury announces their verdict after deliberating less than twenty minutes. Sarah is guilty of murdering the model with a single bullet through her heart. The barefoot Sarah looks shocked when she hears the ruling.

She is led back to her holding cell (the jumpsuit is removed) and will return to court tomorrow to be sentenced.
The next day convicted felon Sarah Fischer is brought to court to be sentenced for her crime. She arrives naked and the prosecutor Jollyrei demands she receives the most severe punishment allowed by law.

Her defense attorney T. H. Tree puts up an impassioned plea for the court’s mercy.

What he did not realize the prosecution would bring in a professional witness, a Dr. Barbara Moore of the University of the Virgin Martyrs, to explain not only the horrific details of the model’s murder but the planning Sarah Fischer had done to carry out the killing. With a stern icy voice Dr. Moore says “It is imperative that Ms. Fischer suffers the strictest penalty allowed by law!”

In under ten minutes the jury returns and orders that Sarah should be sent to the Hooker, Oklahoma Women’s Correctional Farm and Execution Facility where she will be executed by crucifixion!

This has not been a good day for Sarah.

 

[Apostate]

A: That's Nothing! I had an uncle who was a great conductor.
B: Really, what orchestra did he conduct?
A: Oh no. He wasn't musical at all.
B: Oh, I see, he worked on the train or the streetcar?
A: No, he never really held down a steady job.
B: Then how can you say he was a great conductor?
A: He was struck by lighting!

That's it. I finished hijacking thread.

Something about a pretty lady getting crucified, I think. More correctly I hope.

 

[Apostate]

Ah. Here we go.

 

[Praefectus Praetorio]

With a stern icy voice Dr. Moore says

Barbara! Say it isn't so!

 

[Migoz2]

Barbara! Say it isn't so!

Barb is augmenting her departmental budget by hiring out her services. Anyone interested should contact Akademicks 'Я' Us.

 

[Rias]

 

[Barbaria1]

What he did not realize the prosecution would bring in a professional witness, a Dr. Barbara Moore of the University of the Virgin Martyrs, to explain not only the horrific details of the model’s murder but the planning Sarah Fischer had done to carry out the killing. With a stern icy voice Dr. Moore says “It is imperative that Ms. Fischer suffers the strictest penalty allowed by law!”

Expert witness! Me! Awwww