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Vintage Advertisement - political correctness not really given
- Thread starter Zephyros
- Start date
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
No Deposit, No Return
If she was my wife, she'd get more than a kiss!
But I would tie her hands behind her like he's done!
If she was my wife, she'd get more than a kiss!
But I would tie her hands behind her like he's done!
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Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
For the Resiliency of youth, just "Pull the Cords"
That's surely a vintage Nailus Martyrs catalog!
Dr Eugene 'Mack the Cords', not so well remembered as his brother whose USP was knives
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Summertime
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Come on Gals. They're ready for you!
And they're nice to dogs and cats!
And they're nice to dogs and cats!
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
A man with a cool head (in more ways than one) in a crisis:
"It's OK...I saved the Schlitz"
Later that day, is he in trouble? Will he care?
"It's OK...I saved the Schlitz"
Later that day, is he in trouble? Will he care?
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Vintage? Look at the computer (That thing in the upper right for those too young to recognize anything except an ?pad.
Computer "Interlude Games." Wonder if it comes with game pieces?
Computer "Interlude Games." Wonder if it comes with game pieces?
I’ve read references to Lydia Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, but never bothered looking it up.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lydia_Pinkham
In modified form, it’s still around.
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Which is no surprise. A "woman's tonic," a "medicinal compound" for feminine disorders is needed as much as ever. Clearly evident from some of those who post here and need something to deal with their "feminine" issues. (though I won't name names for fear of @Barbaria1 's demerits)
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Oh shit. Here's the lyrics -
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Mr. Freers, had sticky out ears
And it made him awful shy
And so they gave him medicinal compound
And now he's learning how to fly
Robert Tony, was known to be bony
He would never eat his meals
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Old Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar
And so they put him in a home
Where they gave him medicinal compound
And now he's emperor of Rome
Johnny Hammer, had a terrible st-st-st-st-stammer
He could hardly s-s-say a word
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now's he's seen, but never heard
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Aunty Milly, ran willy-nilly
When her legs they did recede
So they rubbed on medicinal compound
Now they call her Milly Pede
Jennifer Eccles, had terrible freckles
And the boys all called her names
But they gave her medicinal compound
Now he joins in all the games
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Lily the Pink, she turned to drink
She filled up with paraffin inside
And despite her medicinal compound
Sadly pickled Lily died
Up to heaven her soul ascended
All the church bells they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Mr. Freers, had sticky out ears
And it made him awful shy
And so they gave him medicinal compound
And now he's learning how to fly
Robert Tony, was known to be bony
He would never eat his meals
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the pink
The savior of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Old Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar
And so they put him in a home
Where they gave him medicinal compound
And now he's emperor of Rome
Johnny Hammer, had a terrible st-st-st-st-stammer
He could hardly s-s-say a word
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now's he's seen, but never heard
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Aunty Milly, ran willy-nilly
When her legs they did recede
So they rubbed on medicinal compound
Now they call her Milly Pede
Jennifer Eccles, had terrible freckles
And the boys all called her names
But they gave her medicinal compound
Now he joins in all the games
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The savior of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Lily the Pink, she turned to drink
She filled up with paraffin inside
And despite her medicinal compound
Sadly pickled Lily died
Up to heaven her soul ascended
All the church bells they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing
We'll drink a drink, a drink
To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink
The saviour of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
An example of the original Bawdy drinking song version (many versions of the lyrics)
Chorus: Then we'll sing, we'll sing,
We'll sing of Lydia Pinkham,
Savior of the human race.
How she makes, she bottles,
She sells her vegetable compound,
And the papers publish her face.
Widow Brown, she had no children,
Though she loved them very dear,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now she has them twice a year.
Willie Smith had peritonitis,
And he couldn't piss at all,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now he's a human waterfall.
Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneys;
Poor old lady couldn't pee,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they pipe her out to sea.
Geraldine, she had no breastworks,
And she couldn't fill her blouse,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled,
Some vegetable compound,
And now they milk her with the cows.
Arthur White had been castrated
And had not a single nut,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they hang all 'round his butt.
Billy Black lacked hair on his balls,
And his pecker wouldn't peck,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
Now it's as long as a gy-raffe's neck.
Chorus: Then we'll sing, we'll sing,
We'll sing of Lydia Pinkham,
Savior of the human race.
How she makes, she bottles,
She sells her vegetable compound,
And the papers publish her face.
Widow Brown, she had no children,
Though she loved them very dear,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now she has them twice a year.
Willie Smith had peritonitis,
And he couldn't piss at all,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now he's a human waterfall.
Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneys;
Poor old lady couldn't pee,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they pipe her out to sea.
Geraldine, she had no breastworks,
And she couldn't fill her blouse,
So she took, she swallowed, she gargled,
Some vegetable compound,
And now they milk her with the cows.
Arthur White had been castrated
And had not a single nut,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
And now they hang all 'round his butt.
Billy Black lacked hair on his balls,
And his pecker wouldn't peck,
So he took, he swallowed, he gargled
Some vegetable compound,
Now it's as long as a gy-raffe's neck.
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Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
Clever twist(?) Eul. Not sure how many of the younger generation recognized Die Moritat von Mackie Messer.That's surely a vintage Nailus Martyrs catalog!
Dr Eugene 'Mack the Cords', not so well remembered as his brother whose USP was knives
Passable English Translation, (performed by a uniquely talented singer)
Praefectus Praetorio
R.I.P. Brother of the Quill
And most scary as Rosa Klebb (From Russia with Love)
Gospozha Kleb was my first exposure to Fräulein Lenya.
Brrr.
So it came as a shock some years later to see and hear her as Pirate Jenny.
One. Pissed. Off. Lady.