Hi, I’m new to the Forum and wanted to introduce myself. I hope this is ok and this is the correct thread to do it.
One thing I’d love to ask everyone is how did your particular interest in execution or crucifixion fetishes first develop?
I’m a woman in my early forties, married with two teenage kids. I’m Mrs normal on the outside, you’d just never know about my kinks, of course you wouldn’t, which means a hell of a lot of people we come across in life have something badgering away in their mind that excites them.
For me when I was a young girl, I used to be shocked and upset by stories of executions. If the news covered a story of someone condemned to death, if history books told of executions or if I read or watched something that had reference to execution it frightened me.
How the state could do this to a human being, this cold sentence to take their life, regardless of the crime I always thought about that person. About what went through their mind at the time of sentencing and in the hours and days (sometimes years of course), until the sentence was carried out.
I’d lay awake, terrified, imagining a black capped judge passing sentence on me, his words ringing in my ears as my world collapsed around me.
Maybe around 10 years ago I suddenly found that I was sexually aroused thinking about execution. I tried to rack it from my mind but in many ways, it was cathartic, it stopped me having this huge fear that kept me from sleeping and allowed me to control fantasies in my head.
I now allow my mind to run with all sorts of scenarios and fantasies, and usually when I’m alone now it’s what gets me off.
Some time ago I even had the opportunity to visit a professional dominatrix who role played scenarios with me. Maybe I’ll describe that in the future if people are interested.
I’m writing an execution story at the moment, mainly for my own amusement but I may publish it to the forum soon.
