German and Austrian Culture and Words ( to run away but also having fun with it before )

[Loxuru]

I can already predict that we Germans will not obey to Belgian regulations about being allowed or not allowed to cuddle - or whatever "knuffeln" means (!) - with our contacts.
We will "knuffel" our contacts only according to a new German or Europe-wide "Knuffelgesetzgebung" (= "knuffel-law-making") and until then, we will knuffel our contacts as much and as long as we will and can!

Just to put the word 'knuffel' in its correct emotional meaning in Dutch. A cute little children's stuffed animal is called 'knuffeldier' (dier = animal), or, abbreviated : 'knuffel'. For adults, it is 'embracing with love, of someon you love', so one does not 'knuffel' with just anybody. 'Cuddling' is the closest English translation.

 

[dfg42]

Correct, then 'dfg42', are you speaking rather "Schwyzerdütsch"?
(=> for our native English-speaking audience: Swiss-German is German with an often completely different emphasis on many German words and German is not really German everywhere in German-speaking countries, you know?!)

Once, there were mixed satirical shows on German TV with the satirists Dieter Hildebrandt (German) and Werner Schneyder (Austrian). Hildebrandt in one show asked Schneyder:
"Why do Austrians do not really like us Germans and vice versa?" Schneyder's answer: "I am convinced it is because we speak each other's language in slightly different dialects and we know each other too well!"

Moreover, the Germans and Austrians always liked to see each other as victims of the "Größten Feldherrn aller Zeiten" (= "GröFaZ" or "Greatest Commander of all Times)" for our interested non-German readers here) in a very different way.

Helmut Qualtinger (Austrian actor and satirist) once made this statement playing an old Austrian, when the Austrian national football / soccer team defeated the German team in the World Championships in 1974: "Our happiness was incredible, almost limitless! We had defeated the Germans in one of their greatest sports and we have never been so happy since the unification with Germany in 1938, when millions of Austrians were in the streets of Vienna to welcome our new Austrian leader from Berlin!"

Suddenly, he seemed to remark what he just had said in his joy and seemed to become sad again:

"Ahm, hrm, ... but it certainly was an awful crime how all we Austrians have been lied to and betrayed by him and by his German government members in those terrible times ... !"

Yup, growing up in Switzerland, but for three in Germany (Bonn) and now back in Switzerland. Guess I am now entering the age to move to Thailand.......

 

[Silent_Water]

@ Loxuru:

I would certainly never "knuffeln" with just anybody and I never even dreamed about it!


@ dfg42:

But you are going there just because of the beautiful warm weather which is good for "oldtimers" like you and me and certainly not for "knuffeln" anybody, right?

 

[dfg42]

@ Loxuru:

I would certainly never "knuffeln" with just anybody and I never even dreamed about it!


@ dfg42:

But you are going there just because of the beautiful warm weather which is good for "oldtimers" like you and me and certainly not for "knuffeln" anybody, right?

I remember that beautiful Austrian song from "Der Vogelhändler", where we are described as "alter Krauterer", old men collecting and eating "Kraut", and naturally the Krauts are well known in American military.

 

[Silent_Water]

I just remembered to once have met several German & Austrian girls with names which sound in German like a verb, so like they were doing something, for example (name is now changed a bit for data protection reasons):
"Renate Wuckelt" (Sorry here for all members of the Wuckelt - family!)
And once I told a Polish fellow student:
This beautiful girl over there is "Renate Wuckelt"!
He asked me seriously: "What does "wuckeln" mean and what is she doing right now by "wuckeln"?"

 

[malins]

One of the weirdest German company names I've come across was "Richter und Schädel" (lit. Judge and Skull).
Judge & Skull Inc. wasn't in the judicial punishment services industry though, it was a construction company...

 

[Loxuru]

the judicial punishment services industry

I have always found this an interesting thought. A government licensed company where people have to report for getting a whipping or another corporal punisment. Of course, lobbying of the company lowers the treshold in penal law for sentencing to a corporal punishment.
An economical branch with a future?

 

[dfg42]

One of the weirdest German company names I've come across was "Richter und Schädel" (lit. Judge and Skull).
Judge & Skull Inc. wasn't in the judicial punishment services industry though, it was a construction company...

Not so weird as Skull and Bones. Which brings me to another story idea, well probably better untold.

 

[Silent_Water]

In the German federal state of Baden-Württemberg is situated the region of "Schwaben" or Swabia. The Swabians are speaking German with many "sh's" in their language and it is said to be almost impossible for them to really speak "Hochdeutsch" (= a perfect "high German") although they are really famous for having the most successful family companies in Germany, being the hardest workers and most successful inventors of Germany.

So, one of the funniest and most impressive advertising slogans of Baden-Württemberg was: "Wir können alles. Außer Hochdeutsch." (= "We can anything. Except High German.")

And now, it is sometimes funny for other Germans to hear our current conservative President of the Parliament (= "Bundestagspräsident") speaking German because he, Wolfgang Schäuble (and even his name is typically Swabian), speaks "Swabian" with many "sh's" and so, this might also be funny for native English speakers, because his reaction to this tweet from Donald Trump was his Swabian-English sentence, which I will translate after these jpg-pictures:



Wolfgang Schäuble said: "There is one time when you have to accept a political defeat and if you cannot accept it, your friends in your political party in a democracy should tell you to accept it and so I hope, there will be enough Republican party members who tell him: 'It ish, like it ish, and now it ish over!' " (= "Es isch, wie es isch, und jetzt isch over!")

 

[dfg42]

In the German federal state of Baden-Württemberg is situated the region of "Schwaben" or Swabia. The Swabians are speaking German with many "sh's" in their language and it is said to be almost impossible for them to really speak "Hochdeutsch" (= a perfect "high German") although they are really famous for having the most successful family companies in Germany, being the hardest workers and most successful inventors of Germany.

So, one of the funniest and most impressive advertising slogans of Baden-Württemberg was: "Wir können alles. Außer Hochdeutsch." (= "We can anything. Except High German.")

And now, it is sometimes funny for other Germans to hear our current conservative President of the Parliament (= "Bundestagspräsident") speaking German because he, Wolfgang Schäuble (and even his name is typically Swabian), speaks "Swabian" with many "sh's" and so, this might also be funny for native English speakers, because his reaction to this tweet from Donald Trump was his Swabian-English sentence, which I will translate after these jpg-pictures:

View attachment 924150 View attachment 924151

Wolfgang Schäuble said: "There is one time when you have to accept a political defeat and if you cannot accept it, your friends in your political party in a democracy should tell you to accept it and so I hope, there will be enough Republican party members who tell him: 'It ish, like it ish, and now it ish over!' " (= "Es isch, wie es isch, und jetzt isch over!")

Or as a famous Austrian actor said: "Hasta la Vista Baby", but I am naturally never against investigations and probably the states should rethink there election procedure. I remember Al Gore with a similar problem as Trump, so it is independent of the political orientation.

 

[Silent_Water]

The reader's here might already have remarked how much I like satire and some German satire shows on TV are my most favourite TV broadcasts at all because there you sometimes see and hear news you would not really remark in a usual daytime - especially when you are working at night like me.

There are the usual critical points of lacking German government work like these persons who are a bit overworked:



But then, you find really interesting informations like these ones about neigbouring countries which you would rather read on the last pages of German newspapers:

And we see: Even in our modern times, even a minister for education can be really silly!

(Concerning "Lolek & Bolek" in the picture before: )

Bolek and Lolek - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Moreover, there are many protests in our neighbouring country Poland against the government because of a new law which allows abortion only in cases of danger for the life of the pregnant woman or in case of rape. For example, a severely deformed child is no legal reason any more:

Poland delays abortion ban as nationwide protests continue

Anti-government rallies continue over court’s ruling to restrict access to terminations

www.theguardian.com

2020–2021 women's strike protests in Poland - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The governing party in Poland is the PiS-Party which is also in a constant quarrel with the European Parliament in Brussels about their trials to control the judges and the free press in Poland which led to this picture in the satire show of the best known political leader in Poland who says the churches must be defended against the protests of some outraged Polish women:



But if you think, such problems do only exist in Poland, you might be surprised that the beautiful German-Bavarian city of Passau found a special regulation only for itself to overrule common German legislation in order to ban abortions within the city's borders of Passau which leads to this comments in the satire show:

Interesting especially in this forum, isn't it?

(But the regular witch-burning in Passau is only satire - hrm - I hope so!)

And Passau has really a rather strange reputation in the latest German history, also because of the story of this woman:

Anna Rosmus - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

There are still places all over Europe which seem to have stuck a bit too much in the past ...

 

[Naraku]

Or as a famous Austrian actor said: "Hasta la Vista Baby", but I am naturally never against investigations and probably the states should rethink there election procedure. I remember Al Gore with a similar problem as Trump, so it is independent of the political orientation.

The situation in 2000 was very different. It involved difficulties counting ballots in one state (my state) due to a clunky, outmoded system. There had been problems with the punch card system in the past but no effort had been made to replace it. There no allegations of fraud although the Florida Secretary of State, a Republican, tried to stop the vote count once Bush had the lead.

Trump is making unsubstantiated claims of fraud in multiple states. The only controversy and confusion is coming from the him and his minions.

 

[Silent_Water]

When I look at the world around Europe right now, I got the feeling that we Europeans, especially Western Europeans - in spite of all the coronavirus problems - are still living in a kind of human paradise because there are so many other countries in Africa or Asia with authoritarian governments, even wars and some are simply in a constant situation of extreme poverty or simply religious madness.

During the last weeks with some few extremely silly guests at "my" hotel in Germany ...
(Guest: "I really should be wearing a mask everywhere here inside right after entering this big lobby? Why?" - Do not imagine the following discussion!)
... I reached a point, where only some kinds of cynical or sad German humour were really making me happy and one example of this is the German satirist Nico Semsrott, who is really one of two members of the satirist German party "Die Partei" which in reality (!) managed it to be a party in the European parliament.

According to one of his shows on the internet, his motto of life is: "Joy of life is simply based on a lack of information!"
So, don't be surprised when his report in English from his first year at the European parliament might be surprising for you:

 

[Silent_Water]

Just for historical reasons and for finding the links faster again because I am getting old and forgetting some things faster than ... hm ... what is "in früheren Zeiten" in English?
I seem to have forgotten something.
Anyway, just to remember these good old times of last year and last week.

One of the best German sign language interpreters I have ever seen last year:

A very good summary of last week's most important events:

 

[Silent_Water]

Today, the most controversial and most discussed German YouTube-Videos by - hard to believe but true - really true:

By the German government!

 

[dfg42]

Today, the most controversial and most discussed German YouTube-Videos by - hard to believe but true - really true:

By the German government!

Now, you did it. Seeing this video is much worser than being crucified! I think the most reasonable discussion of it might be found with the love priest:

 

[Zungur]

although they are really famous for having the most successful family companies in Germany, being the hardest workers and most successful inventors of Germany.

Now I have to strongly object to this.
The Swebians are *not* inventors, but they are certainly very good to buy or steal inventions that are made by civilised people like the Kurpfälzers and sell it as their own idea.
For evidence just look at the case of the automobile, invented by Carl Benz (Kurpfalz), who never had personal contact with a Swebian moneybag named Gotlieb Daimler, but istead was sued by him. After Benz's death Daimler bought his company and guess what: on official documents (and even on Wikipedia) you can now read that Daimler construcetd the first car.
Other cases, almost as serious, concern the true origin and original recepies of 'Brezeln' and 'Kartoffelsalat'.

Which brings to attention another very typical German characteristic: each local tribe hates every other tribe, and those that are closest hate each other most.
And, while deep down being convinced that everything German necessarily must be better than 'outlandish' stuff, each true German will always publicly despise every single aspect of German culture and cooking, while praising anything that comes from abroad.
Talking about paranoid schizophrenia ...

But anyway:
It is time to remove the bonds of these loathsome Swebian oppressors! Rise and be proud my fellow Kurpfälzers and free yourself from their unrightful rule! Rise and take up your Brezeln and your Zwiebelkuchen, gird your loins with Lewwerworschd and throw them into the ugly faces of these Spätzle-eaters ...
... Oh sorry, seems I was carried away a bit

 

[Silent_Water]

OK, concerning all three postings before, I would take the position and viewpoint of one of my great idols in history: Seneca and his sceptic stoicism.
When I cannot be stoic any more, I try to regard everything as satire and so I started by looking at all three postings before as being satires ...
but then I thought about the second posting before:
"Hey, I have seen this bearded guy 'Tim K.' somewhere before in German newspapers and this is also a bit funny, because he always complains about these criminal Muslim Arab and Chechen clans in Germany who are exploiting the German state by misusing money for big families with many children, commiting crimes because they live in their Middle-Ages with blood revenge etc. But who really is Tim K. (?) and now, it really starts to be 'funny' in my opinion, but possibly these are all the 'typical German fake news' again:

Land überweist jeden Monat Geld an vorbestraften Rocker

Detmold (WB). Er gerät immer wieder mit dem Gesetz in Konflikt, er weigert sich, Polizeianordnungen zu befolgen, er ist Sprecher der Rockergruppe »Brothers MC« – und er bekommt jeden Monat Geld vom Land überwiesen.

www.westfalen-blatt.de

He is a former German police inspector who was suspended because of too close ties with the "Hell's Angels" and under suspicion of telling police secrets to criminal rocker gangs - in fact, today, he is "the speaker" of the rocker gang "Brothers MC".
In 2010, he was sentenced to 9 months prison on probation because of dangerous hurting other persons and abduction. And even more funny, he probably still receives 50 % of his police salary and is still fighting for getting it without working anything for the police but making such videos and writing hateful books about people who are exploiting the German state ... as he himself is doing now for 10 years! A really impressive man!"

 

[dfg42]

He is a former German police inspector who was suspended because of too close ties with the "Hell's Angels" and under suspicion of telling police secrets to criminal rocker gangs - in fact, today, he is "the speaker" of the rocker gang "Brothers MC".
In 2010, he was sentenced to 9 months prison on probation because of dangerous hurting other persons and abduction. And even more funny, he probably still receives 50 % of his police salary and is still fighting for getting it without working anything for the police but making such videos and writing hateful books about people who are exploiting the German state ... as he himself is doing now for 10 years! A really impressive man!"

You should take German politics with more humour, I was long in Bonn (yes I am older) and I could hardly distinguish it with the carnevals club, I naturally know Tim K. because of his love affair with Schafschan Chebli, must be some kind of SM-relation. However you should understand him, he makes his living by his books and his youtube-vids, and they are quite funny. That he is not some sort of clean Ex police man would no-one expect who has seen him.

 

[Silent_Water]

...

Which brings to attention another very typical German characteristic: each local tribe hates every other tribe, and those that are closest hate each other most.
And, while deep down being convinced that everything German necessarily must be better than 'outlandish' stuff, each true German will always publicly despise every single aspect of German culture and cooking, while praising anything that comes from abroad.
Talking about paranoid schizophrenia ...

...

Absolutely correct, but it is not as unusual as "outlandish" persons might think. It is similar in other countries which were for some time separated and they love to hate each other, too. I know a similar national history from Romania and Moldova (separated in regions which were once parts of the Austro-Hungarian empire and the Russian empire. Certainly, the "Austrian Romanians" are looking down on all other Romanians etc.).
And when you think of the history of the "Klingonian Empire" ...

Klingon - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

... which was in parts of its history similar to the German empires, we Germans were much sweeter, lovelier and much more charming than the Klingons, weren't we?