Limericks

[twonines]

There was a young lady from Charlotte,
Who pursued a career as a harlot.
When pulling a trick,
She still got a kick,
Whether in bed, or at the back of the Car Lot.

 

[montycrusto]

Ok not a Limerick but whatever, shut up.

‘Twas in the Twin Cities,
Where the girls have nice titties,
I first set my eyes on sweet Barbara Moore-Tree.
As she drove her old motor
All around Minnesota,
Giving blowjobs for cash and demerits for free.

 

[twonines]

Ok not a Limerick but whatever, shut up.

‘Twas in the Twin Cities,
Where the girls have nice titties,
I first set my eyes on sweet Barbara Moore-Tree.
As she drove her old motor
All around Minnesota,
Giving blowjobs for cash and demerits for free.

Are you casting our Barb as a clone,
Of the famous Molly Malone?
Playing the part,
Of the Tart with the Cart,
You can bet she`s sure to moan.

 

[montycrusto]

Are you casting our Barb as a clone,
Of the famous Molly Malone?
Playing the part,
Of the Tart with the Cart,
You can bet she`s sure to moan.

It might be a little bit troublin’,
But my demerits will soon be Dublin.
I’ll tease and provoke ‘er
With a poetry poker,
Till with demerit-rage she be bubblin’

 

[twonines]

In Dublin, Barb hustles and bustles,
She`s not selling cockles and mussels.
She hands demerits out,
With a petulant pout,
And flexes her tight little muscles.

 

[Barbaria1]

It might be a little bit troublin’,
But my demerits will soon be Dublin.
I’ll tease and provoke ‘er
With a poetry poker,
Till with demerit-rage she be bubblin’

In Dublin, Barb hustles and bustles,
She`s not selling cockles and mussels.
She hands demerits out,
With a petulant pout,
And flexes her tight little muscles.

THAT DID IT!

 

[montycrusto]

THAT DID IT!

RESULT!!!

 

[twonines]

Monty certainly seems elated,
When by Barb he`s berated.
I`ve never understood,
Why he feels so good,
But he thinks the process gold plated.

 

[Barbaria1]

Always cruising for a bruising
Monty seems to be choosing
A rhyme here
A rhyme there
I hardly find them amusing

 

[montycrusto]

Always cruising for a bruising
Monty seems to be choosing
A rhyme here
A rhyme there
I hardly find them amusing

How could I not enthuse,
When I get such a colourful bruise,
From the tight little fists
Of she who insists
She’s nobody’s goddam muse!

 

[twonines]

Despite her contrary views,
Barb loves being our muse.
I much prefer,
Punishing her,
So that`s the option I`d choose.

 

[montycrusto]

Jurassic Barb knew how to ride
On a stegosaur’s slippery hide.
Her thighs firmly gripped
So the girl never slipped,
Despite the beast’s lumbering stride.

 

[montycrusto]

Her appearance would cause quite a stir,
In a bikini made out of fur,
Till she finally caved
To a man who enslaved
Her and made the poor girl call him “Sir”.

 

[montycrusto]

@Barbaria1 thinks she’s clever,
And mocks me worse than ever.
Her scorn will decrease
When she begs for release
And I’ll say: “hmm, how about never?”

 

[montycrusto]

Astride the old wooden horse,
(It’s @Harsh Martinet ’s, of course),
Her torturous ride
Will wear down her pride,
And she’ll learn how to bottle her sauce!

 

[montycrusto]

Barbaria’s literary wit,
Seems to mean making ME look a twit.
No doubt this is why
In general, I
Have utter disdain for chick-lit.

 

[twonines]

Into Limericks, frequently put,
Of Monty`s wit she`s often the butt.
While, in the main,
Barb feigns disdain,
She`s really a Limerick slut.

 

[twonines]

There was a young man from Blairgowrie,
Who, online, purchased a houri.
"She has a puss like a a shell."
It said in the hard sell,
But alas, that shell was a Cowrie

 

[montycrusto]

Don Quixote was riding one day,
And to Sancho he turned to say:
“Barbinea del Moroso
Is the fairest, I know so,
Of the girls of La Mancha. Olé.”

 

[twonines]

The Inquisition rules the roost in Spain,
And frequently inflicts great pain.
Today is the day,
Of the Auto da Fe,
Alas, Barb must suffer again.