Self Crucifixion

[RacingRodent]

The 'flogging' is fake blood, done for the home movie.

Actually doing the movies is a very different activity to self-cruxing...

So would you say it is something you do more for others or perhaps for yourself for later rather than in the moment?

 

[serendipity]

The 'flogging' is fake blood, done for the home movie.
With the movie-making it's just a scramble of logical activity, there is so much to set up, planned shots, moving the camera around, checking the viewpoint & setting it going, rushing into position etc etc. there is no escaping into anything in the imagination.
The editing later is fun.

PhilX, your work is unparalleled! I find similar challenges working with stills... there's a lot in the setup and being able to get into position within 10 seconds for each shot. I do enjoy having the pics, though.

BTW, credits to PhilX for my avatar - created from one of my stills several years ago...

 

[Madiosi]

A couple of years ago I posted some images & how I self cruxed in a safe way on Cruxfoundation, I have lost the images now I'm afraid. It is a similar way to how Madiosi hangs by his wrists, but I don't use a snap hook, just strong vertical steel spikes sticking up above the crossbeam as near to the front as possible, I slip rope that I bind round each wrist over the steel bars, which are slightly rounded to make this easier. It is simple & easy to self release from these by just lifting the arms up.

I have taken some screenshots from a couple of my home movies in which this method is visible. The first one is the cross itself followed by a couple of images with me hanging from the spikes.

There is another view of the cross showing the patibulum spikes & also a horizontal bar that is strong enough to stand on. I can also hook rope I bind round my feet or ankles over this to feel more 'fixed'.

lastly I show the sedile, which is just a rough piece of wood with a steel bar inside that goes into the stipes beam. This I sit astride to prolong the experience.

Interesting suggestions for tuning my cross in the next season.

 

[PhilX]

So would you say it is something you do more for others or perhaps for yourself for later rather than in the moment?

RR, since I was about seven years old I have been moved by the idea of crucifixion, I'm sure it stems from watching a Jesus movie, nothing to do with religion. One's body is a private & personal possession, the very thought of it being so publicly exposed to view & the terrible tortures involved had a huge impression on my young mind. I posed like that on the ladder of my bunk bed with only my white underpants on, of course it wasn't till many years later in my early teens that I discovered somehow that victims were totally naked - that added knowledge knocked me sideways! At the age of fourteen to imagine oneself raised up on a cross naked with a crowd of lovely girls watching was the most erotic thing I could imagine. The delicious shame I would feel by how that scenario would have on my my poor young penis straining to bridge the void between me & them was also inevitable.

So it has always been a personal fantasy, good to know it is not at all a rare one judging by how many folk of both sexes who look in here. In fact I think the fascination with crucifixion is even more widespread than all here; who in a church cannot be moved (& I don't mean in a religious, pious, or spiritual way) by looking at an almost naked man stretched wide on a cross, usually a perfectly idealised physical body with the scrap of cloth maintaining the modesty tantalisingly slipping down! It is an image almost purposely created for erotic thoughts despite the Church wanting to banish such things, a test of out resolve? Anyway it's small wonder only a few people are willing to voice an erotic reaction to a crucifix.

Of course eroticism aside it was a horrible thing, one of terrible wounding, lots of blood, bodily functions, filth & stench. But even considering this it is still fascinating. I am one of the minority here who do not like that much the misogyny of seeing images of women on crosses, being a regular heterosexual guy I prefer my women next to me in a bed! I don't want to see women tortured, I know I am not completely alone here. There does seem to be three camps here, those men who want to see nude females in the heady pose of crucifixion (it does show off breasts so well!), others who want to see the same sex as themselves similarly presented, & those of either sex who fantasise about suffering crucifixion themselves. I am of the latter group.

So I have done self cruxing for decades when the opportunity of being completely alone permits. When I got a digital camera many years ago I could take photos, & with Photoshop I could make images of a crucifixion scenario along the lines of how I envisage the reality might have been. Many of these I have shared here. The mini movies are just an extension of that. I did hope I could share them with others interested, but I don't want to do that because of the risk of them being copied & posted in places beyond my control. It's a pity that one cannot put up a video clip somewhere where it was only possible to view & not download, I am not aware of the possibility.

I am happy to put anyone's image on one of my backgrounds, I have done so for Serendipity as he says & a couple of others. I don't keep the images sent me.

 

[serendipity]

Of course eroticism aside it was a horrible thing, one of terrible wounding, lots of blood, bodily functions, filth & stench. But even considering this it is still fascinating. I am one of the minority here who do not like that much the misogyny of seeing images of women on crosses, being a regular heterosexual guy I prefer my women next to me in a bed! I don't want to see women tortured, I know I am not completely alone here. There does seem to be three camps here, those men who want to see nude females in the heady pose of crucifixion (it does show off breasts so well!), others who want to see the same sex as themselves similarly presented, & those of either sex who fantasise about suffering crucifixion themselves. I am of the latter group.

So I have done self cruxing for decades when the opportunity of being completely alone permits. When I got a digital camera many years ago I could take photos, & with Photoshop I could make images of a crucifixion scenario along the lines of how I envisage the reality might have been. Many of these I have shared here. The mini movies are just an extension of that. I did hope I could share them with others interested, but I don't want to do that because of the risk of them being copied & posted in places beyond my control. It's a pity that one cannot put up a video clip somewhere where it was only possible to view & not download, I am not aware of the possibility.

PhilX, I'm with you 99.9% - The ONLY area I seem to differ is that I am completely mesmerized by images of women on the cross. I also abhor violence and degradation of women, but the erotic connection is definitely hard-wired! One of my favorite fantasies is to be hung on a cross in front of a crucified woman, possibly a lover, sharing the experience without words.

 

[phlebas]

There does seem to be three camps here, those men who want to see nude females in the heady pose of crucifixion (it does show off breasts so well!), others who want to see the same sex as themselves similarly presented, & those of either sex who fantasise about suffering crucifixion themselves. I am of the latter group.

I seem to have a foot in each camp, except that I only have 2 feet and there are three camps! I love to see men or women on the cross, and like to be on the cross myself. There is certainly no mysogyny involved, and I am not simply into torturing women. I am fascinated by the different aspects of crux - the psychology, the fantasy, the body shapes and poses.

You are an example to all who consider self crux, PhilX, with the added bonus of the manips you do based on your sessions. I know what you mean about the videos, when I am taking photos of a self crux session it does become the focus, rather than the crux itself.

A couple of years ago I posted some images & how I self cruxed in a safe way on Cruxfoundation, I have lost the images now I'm afraid. It is a similar way to how Madiosi hangs by his wrists, but I don't use a snap hook, just strong vertical steel spikes sticking up above the crossbeam as near to the front as possible, I slip rope that I bind round each wrist over the steel bars, which are slightly rounded to make this easier. It is simple & easy to self release from these by just lifting the arms up.

I remember the pics you posted of your bindings and how they fix to the cross. Can you remember when they would have been posted, or what they were called? My archive is not well organised, but I will certainly have them, and I'm happy to post them here for you

 

[PhilX]

Hmm, I cannot exactly remember when I posted those images, they certainly showed the set-up better. I must have added them to a thread about self-cruxing, I tried to find one on the 'Search' in Cruxfoundation but nothing came up. Could it be buried deep in the pages of Male Nails there? Maybe the self crux thread was here sometime in the past? Unfortunately I deleted all my images from Cruxfoundation when mistakenly I thought my computer hacked last year. All there is there are the thumbnails of what I posted.

I am pretty sure the desire to see images of beautiful women posed on a cross is not always misogyny, sorry if I implied that. The presence of so many women here who don't see it as such proves that it isn't so. I just worry that in some countries there are laws against showing women in degrading situations. It could easily be seen by people who don't understand to be a kind of misogyny instead of just erotic innocence. We are all grown up here anyway!

 

[RacingRodent]

I just worry that in some countries there are laws against showing women in degrading situations. It could easily be seen by people who don't understand to be a kind of misogyny instead of just erotic innocence. We are all grown up here anyway!

Yet just a little thought quickly reveals those laws as inherently misogynist. There are no similar laws preventing men being shown in degrading positions are there? Because only the little women need protecting and hey want to deal with a feminist artist showing the abuse of women through the ages...why there is a law handy for male misogynists to use.

People can always convince themselves they are seeing what they want to see. We cannot let ourselves be ruled by fear of others. The limitation must be that we do not harm others and take sensible precautions to avoid harming ourselves.

 

[phlebas]

Hmm, I cannot exactly remember when I posted those images, they certainly showed the set-up better. I must have added them to a thread about self-cruxing, I tried to find one on the 'Search' in Cruxfoundation but nothing came up. Could it be buried deep in the pages of Male Nails there? Maybe the self crux thread was here sometime in the past? Unfortunately I deleted all my images from Cruxfoundation when mistakenly I thought my computer hacked last year. All there is there are the thumbnails of what I posted.

I am pretty sure the desire to see images of beautiful women posed on a cross is not always misogyny, sorry if I implied that. The presence of so many women here who don't see it as such proves that it isn't so. I just worry that in some countries there are laws against showing women in degrading situations. It could easily be seen by people who don't understand to be a kind of misogyny instead of just erotic innocence. We are all grown up here anyway!

I didn't think you were implying misogyny, PhilX
I just wanted to emphasize that our interest in female crux can stem from love of beautiful and graceful bodies, admiration for endurance, heroism, sacrifice etc.

And - I found those pics! Finally.
Brilliant depiction of your technique

 

[PhilX]

Ha, that old cross! It rotted away long ago! But thanks for finding & posting those Phlebas, I hope it gives others ideas how to do it safely. My only warning is the vertical spike for the feet in front of the cross is dangerous if anything above gave way. Far better to position any spikes pointing up to the sides. Everything has to be solid & strong, if anything gave way one could be left hanging by one wrist & no way out. But it's all common sense.

 

[Madiosi]

I didn't think you were implying misogyny, PhilX
I just wanted to emphasize that our interest in female crux can stem from love of beautiful and graceful bodies, admiration for endurance, heroism, sacrifice etc.

And - I found those pics! Finally.
Brilliant depiction of your technique

The technique is very interesting and seductive. One is tempted to try it myself. What I wish I were still a temporal constraint. So no way for a certain time to come free, though you like. This makes the kick.
Great suggestions. Thank you!

 

[PhilX]

Yes I see your point Madiosi. To feel a constraint for a while must be good, particularly if the timescale pushes one to the limit of one's endurance, & perhaps a bit more. My method just relies on my own resilience, the thought I can get out of it whenever I want never really brings in the important element of fear.

 

[Zephyros]

I didn't think you were implying misogyny, PhilX
I just wanted to emphasize that our interest in female crux can stem from love of beautiful and graceful bodies, admiration for endurance, heroism, sacrifice etc.

And - I found those pics! Finally.
Brilliant depiction of your technique

Thanks for sharing the pictures!

 

[crank]

Not sure if it has been discussed. There a spot that if the feet are placed closer or farther from the crossbeam that makes if more or less difficult?

 

[PhilX]

Yes Crank the higher the feet the tougher I find it, it takes far more effort to raise oneself up when the knees are bent a lot. The straighter the legs (with less knee-bend) the easier it is to stand up. This after a length of time becomes a serious issue & one's leg muscles start to give out fast.

I'm sure the crucifying squad knew this & if they wanted to they could inflict more or less agony by where they nailed the feet. If the feet were fixed right under the buttocks the victim would be obliged to hang most of the time by the arms, which could hasten death.

 

[phlebas]

Yes Crank the higher the feet the tougher I find it, it takes far more effort to raise oneself up when the knees are bent a lot. The straighter the legs (with less knee-bend) the easier it is to stand up. This after a length of time becomes a serious issue & one's leg muscles start to give out fast.

I'm sure the crucifying squad knew this & if they wanted to they could inflict more or less agony by where they nailed the feet. If the feet were fixed right under the buttocks the victim would be obliged to hang most of the time by the arms, which could hasten death.

Everything PhilX says. Lower feet are easier, able to support the body weight more easily. Once they are up past the knees the legs are no longer useful, the body hangs from the arms. Also, with the feet higher the body is less likely to arch or hang away from the cross.

 

[Arthuri2010]

My very first self-cruxifixion was, when I was about eight years old - probably nine. I visitet my aunt and my cousins, two twin-girls as old as me.
They had a double bed. One down and one over it. The over-bed had some kind of "safety-board", so that one could not fall out of bed during night. it was -like the bed- made of metal.
I remember that we all three payed the same: standing on the downer bed with our feet and spread our arms and get some hold on that "safety"-thing. Than we let our feet hang down and hung on our arms, hand grabbed on the "savety" on the higher bed and then we counted how long one could last in this hanging position. It was a great play for me!!! not only some fun like it was for my cousins.

Hi Sassi,
How long was your longest time you've managed hanging on the upper frame?

 

[Arthuri2010]

My very first self-cruxifixion was, when I was about eight years old - probably nine. I visitet my aunt and my cousins, two twin-girls as old as me.
They had a double bed. One down and one over it. The over-bed had some kind of "safety-board", so that one could not fall out of bed during night. it was -like the bed- made of metal.
I remember that we all three payed the same: standing on the downer bed with our feet and spread our arms and get some hold on that "safety"-thing. Than we let our feet hang down and hung on our arms, hand grabbed on the "savety" on the higher bed and then we counted how long one could last in this hanging position. It was a great play for me!!! not only some fun like it was for my cousins.

 

[Arthuri2010]

My very first self-cruxifixion was, when I was about eight years old - probably nine. I visitet my aunt and my cousins, two twin-girls as old as me.
They had a double bed. One down and one over it. The over-bed had some kind of "safety-board", so that one could not fall out of bed during night. it was -like the bed- made of metal.
I remember that we all three payed the same: standing on the downer bed with our feet and spread our arms and get some hold on that "safety"-thing. Than we let our feet hang down and hung on our arms, hand grabbed on the "savety" on the higher bed and then we counted how long one could last in this hanging position. It was a great play for me!!! not only some fun like it was for my cousins.

How long was your "personal best time " hanging on the upper double bed, Sassi ?

 

[Schlumpie]

Self crucifixion is possible, as Deiselad says. Me too started in my teenager years with very simple constructions.
Today I have my own cross in a little "secret chamber". It is mounted to the wall very hard, so it cannot fall down while I´m hanging on it. For self-crucifixion I´m wearing special leather "Cuffs" - very soft ones. On there backside they have stability little rings of steel. I put an stool in front of the footrest. This footrest goes down in an angle that allows my naked feet nearly no hold but a little. Where my wrists and feet will take place are strong hooks on the crossbar and over the footrest. The hooks show about ten centimeters high to the roof. That means when I´am hanging on those I can fight and struggle as much as I want. The holding rings of my leather "cuffs" at my wrists an feet angles cannot loose hold.
So I stand on the stool, get on my toes and stretch myself high until I get the rings of my wrist-bondages over the hooks. Then I can let my sink down a little bit and make the rings behind my left foot on the hook behind the footrest, then the right one. The hook behind the footrest is longer than the ones for my wrists. When my feet are fixed side by side on the foot-hook, I´am really crucified. I can feel all Feeling sensations on the cross: being naked and "helpless" and feel the ache starting, what makes me start to "dance" on the cross. Sometimes I can stand a completely hour or longer in this self-crucifixion. But I can leave the cross when it is getting too hard for me.

So I've been doing this for many years. It's a really good feeling