Migoz2
Senator
Camels spit (rather than swallow). We know Barb does neither........Are you suggesting that the camel is barb’s spirit-animal? If so, then yes. Of course.
Camels spit (rather than swallow). We know Barb does neither........Are you suggesting that the camel is barb’s spirit-animal? If so, then yes. Of course.
In the desert? All you need is a shovel to make a hole in the ground!I thought that was the little tent outside the main tent where we go to... well, you know.
Do camels have toes ? Do they have "camel toes "?One or two humps?
On the subject of Christmas Carol parodies, Thomas Beecham`s father, who had bankrolled many of Thomas` musical enterprises, asked him to write an advertising jingle.We three blokes of orient aren’t,
Hoped that God a vision would grant.
If we had a bleeding
Map we’d be reading
It, sadly we haven’t and can’t.
Customer satisfaction guaranteed!Loxuru knew a fine slave when he saw one. Especially the female of the species.
Going to Judea? No way! My poor slaves deserve much better than being sold there!Why can’t Windar go? Or Loxuro?”
...on second thought let's not go to Judaea. it is a silly place ...
It's good to know they've got balls in Judaea!“Where else could be represented as the scrotum of the civilised world?”
For which balls are actually not prerequisite...They’re all lunatics in Judea! We’ll be lucky not to be crucified!
Could be worse - you might be stabbed...I’m not keen on being crucified when I get there!
I can recommend a pretty and hard working slave woman, to put up your tents, keep them clean, and provide exquisite intimate comfort for you gentlemen, during long desert nights!It's good to know they've got balls in Judaea!
For which balls are actually not prerequisite...
Could be worse - you might be stabbed...
I think I'm getting a curious sense of deja vu about all of this, guys... And are we going to pick up a new tent whilst we're here, among all these trading types...?
Bad habit. Sorry.I exhaled violently. “Even Jollyrei and I got that far! What we want to know is…”
“What does it mean?” asked Jollyrei. I wish he wouldn’t finish my sentences. It’s so irritating.
Yeah, but do you remember Sharon - some sort of science class I think in the 3rd form back at the old alma mater? I studied her pretty thoroughly. I should get credit for that.ou needed brains and an encyclopaedic knowledge to get along with Eulalia, and while Bob had those in spades, Jollyrei and I had been somewhat nearer the back of the queue.
That's the way! If Bob doesn't know, he'll know someone who does.“I know a woman who will have a clue!”
It rather looks like there are two of you in the picture.One or two humps?
But how do you know she is rebellious. She looks very docile to me at the moment, and why is she not wearing any clothing. She'll get sand in her...um...well...everywhere.View attachment 938536 We captured this rebelious western girl.
We have a tent for that? You mean we don't just go out into the desert and...um...no...right...we have a little tent where...never mind.I thought that was the little tent outside the main tent where we go to... well, you know.
I knew there was a good reason to come along on this trip. It wasn't the camels, that's for sure.If that wasn’t enough, the music could be heard over an equally great distance, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I could admire the nubile girls performing to that music!
On the other hand, Bob gets a game of "chess" with a lovely intelligent woman, and Wragg and I get...um...“Bob!” Eulalia threw herself into his arms. “How wonderful to see you again!”
Jollyrei looked at me and rolled his eyes. “They’ll be playing a passionate game of chess before the evening is done!”
See?“Not the way we play it!” Eulalia winked at him. I began to wonder if it might profit me to brush up on my game a bit.
Are you hinting that we are, in fact, three wise men? Rambling through the desert carrying all kinds of expensive gold and perfumeries doesn't seem very wise, except of course that it's got us into a camp full of, how did you put it, naked nubile girls? Perhaps we're wiser than we look.For a bit we talked business, we were carrying spices, and some very nice frankincense and myrrh that we’d picked up from Arabia Magna. We had gold, too
A solid point, Bob! Tell it! We're off to see the major babes of Asia Minor!!They have belly dancers in Asia Minor! They’re all lunatics in Judea!
Well, when you say "you three" it was actually me that found the...er... Tell me, Bob's not going to start yelling at me again is he?“But nothing. You three found the sign, so you three need to act upon it.”
Oh, thank you. Thank you so very bloody much indeed.“I had nothing to do with it. Nor did Bob. Jollyrei found it all by himself. Let him go, and Bob and I can carry on without him.”
Oh alright already. Everyone try to act a bit wise then.I desperately tried to think up further objections. “But we have no gifts! Eulalia’s Oasis has much going for it, but it’s a bit lacking in the Gift Shop department!”
“I don’t think we’d be presenting a stick of rock and a kiss me quick hat to a new king, Wragg.” Jollyrei was thoughtful. “But we do have gold.”
“And frankincense,” added Bob.
“And myrrh,” added Eulalia.
As Pontius Pilate said in Ben Hur: "A dreadful prospect! Nothing but dust...and Jehovah."...on second thought let's not go to Judaea. it is a silly place ...
There is still time for the three blokes to make a U-turn !“It’s not a king, it’s a queen. She hit Jerusalem this time last week and the Pharisees are phurious! They’re still wondering what’s hit them!”
“Why?”
“She’s smashed up King Herod’s chariot, and issued demerits to every single one of the Pharisees, and the Sadducees, too!”
“That’s why they’re so sad, you see,” quipped Jollyrei. I rolled my eyes. I’d done my best for his reputation. I couldn’t save him from himself.
Bob ignored him, too. “What’s she called, this woman?”
Phlebas smiled, “They call her ‘Barbaria, Queen of the Jews.’”
Tact and diplomacy have always been my strong suits.“Did you hear anything about a new King in Judea?” asked Jollyrei, innocently.
Oh, sure. When I discover that fantastic new comet that's going to destroy the Earth, we'll just call it the Mutton Comet, I suppose.I didn’t want him to be thought of as a stargazing mutton head
Well, that's true.Madiosi nodded, no further explanation necessary. What Eulalia didn’t know wasn’t worth knowing.
Now, stop me if I've missed something, but we're kind of missing out on the whole birthday in Bethlehem thing here, it seems. Are we still going to this Davidson guy's place?Bob ignored him, too. “What’s she called, this woman?”
Phlebas smiled, “They call her ‘Barbaria, Queen of the Jews.’”
Wait. She sounds familiar.“She’s smashed up King Herod’s chariot, and issued demerits to every single one of the Pharisees, and the Sadducees, too!”
Only one ! So, it's a dromadory !One or two humps?