Barb reacts strangely to the news she is to be tried for the
Crux Forums Crash of 2013. I receive a call that she wants to meet with me near the campus of the UVM and drive up to the blue state in my ’66 Mustang while it is not wrecked by Barb and Siss yet gain. I almost could not find her as it seems much has changed since my Standard Oil Company map was printed but the people were nice and ignored my “Make America Great Again” hat and showed me how to get to the café.
I park in a handicap zone and hang my tag I made in Photoshop and had laminated at the UPS store. If a cop had scanned the barcode it would said instead Tree being handicapped it would said he was a pack of tuna. What can I say…? I don’t have a bar-code reader.
I sit opposite Barb and light up yet another Marlboro and order up another drink.
I ask her “Do you want me to represent you?”
“I would rather have Satin fuck me. Look what they have done to me.”
“It looks like you have been tagged” I say. “Have you been found guilty?”
“It is not just a tag, you fucking idiot” Barb says. “It is a transponder with GPS pinched through my labia!”
“Well I had nothing to do with it. Why did you call me here” I ask.
“Tree, they are intent on blaming me for the Crash of 2013 while I had nothing to do with it” Barb insists.
“’Innocence’ has never been a good defense” I reply.
“Nor you a good lawyer” Barb replies. I have no good reply
.
“I am going to throw myself to the mercy of the court and hope I will be sentenced to timed crucifixion. Are you as good as you say you are? Can you keep me alive long enough to survive a timed crucified” Barb asks.
There is nothing like shifting the responsibility to me. Yes, a couple days are no big deal. Barb is young enough and has enough body fat (come on, this is not a critic but women have curves while we hope to have angles) she should easily endure the ordeal but there are still risks involved.
Tree asks “Why would you even consider mercy at a CF court?”
“I am under no delusion I am damned before I am tried. Perhaps they will sentence me to less than the damnation of death. Would you like to comfort me?”
I look around and think ‘why not’?
Tree