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Limericks

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twonines

Senator
Wragg's wonderful story, "All at Sea with Jeeves" reminded me of this one:

Aboard the good ship Venus
You really should have seen us
Our figurehead
Was a whore in bed
And our mast was a phallic penis
The captain of this lugger,
He was a filthy bugger,
He wasn`t fit
To shovel shit,
From one ship to another.

The first mates name was Carter,
A most prodigious farter.
He was seen,
To play "God save the Queen"
And Beethoven`s Moonlight Sonata.

The Captain`s daughter, Mabel,
Did what she was able,
And gave the crew
Their weekly screw,
Beneath the cabin table.

The cabin boy, whose name was Hipper,
A most precocious nipper,
Stuffed his ass
With broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
 

montycrusto

Slave Trader
The captain of this lugger,
He was a filthy bugger,
He wasn`t fit
To shovel shit,
From one ship to another.

The first mates name was Carter,
A most prodigious farter.
He was seen,
To play "God save the Queen"
And Beethoven`s Moonlight Sonata.

The Captain`s daughter, Mabel,
Did what she was able,
And gave the crew
Their weekly screw,
Beneath the cabin table.

The cabin boy, whose name was Hipper,
A most precocious nipper,
Stuffed his ass
With broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper.
Don’t forget the chorus:

Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do. :fighting02:
 

Barbaria1

Rebel Leader
Staff member
It’s late and Monty’s gone to bed
Which means that I can verse instead
Maybe by the time I’m done
I’ll have reached fifty-one
And gained at least a bit of cred.
 

Wragg

Chronicler of Crux
Staff member
(until she complains..)
You might as well ready your rhymes
Cos I am now seeing the signs:
There may be shed tears
When she's bending your ears
It'll hurt more than your old cat-o-nines! :eek:
 
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