Limericks

[twonines]

The situation now plainly stands
With Barb in unyielding steel bands.
Those shapely breasts bare
And exposed to the air,
Firmly trapped in those rebel hands.

 

[twonines]

Husband and lover in the same place,
And more humiliation to face.
Into peril she`s slipped,
Captured and stripped,
Barb`s between a rock and a hard place.

 

[montycrusto]

Caught up in political upheaval,
Barb’s kidnapped by men who do evil;
She hopes like all hell
They treat hostages well,
And things won’t get all “medieval”…

 

[montycrusto]

She wondered how long it would take,
For these bozos to realise their mistake.
An envoy, I am
Of Good Old Uncle Sam,
That’s the last time this error they’d make!

 

[montycrusto]

The POTUS would send the Marines,
Who’d rescue her by any means,
Then bomb these dumb shits
Till they’d blown them to bits,
In a series of harrowing scenes.

 

[montycrusto]

“You assholes are all gonna die,”
She exclaimed with a glint in her eye,
“A drone strike or two
Will convert you to goo;
And don’t expect me to cry!”

 

[montycrusto]

“Shut the fuck up”, the men said,
“Unless you’d prefer to be dead..
“If you want to stay living,
You’d better start giving
Us all spectacular head.”

 

[montycrusto]

“Our revolutionary cocks
Are getting as hard as rocks;
They’ve never had rich
American bitch,
With a tight little baby-box!”

 

[montycrusto]

When Leo turned up with Roger,
Barb, that most artful dodger,
Quick to adapt,
Got herself kidnapped,
Thus ensuring that neither could jodge ‘er.

 

[montycrusto]

Alas, she’s a hostage to fortune,
And her captors she must importune.
Kept chained in a shack
She must work on her back,
Till the U.S.Marines play a war-tune.

 

[twonines]

Barb vainly hopes that she`ll find
Her captors not too unkind.
They`ve started to strip her,
Will the swine whip her?
She can`t get this thought out of her mind.

 

[twonines]

Scary thoughts run through Barb`s head,
Could she end up being dead?
For if a timely rescue
Could arrive right on cue,
She would even welcome Big Fred.

 

[twonines]

When she find`s her victim`s related,
Poor Barb will be devastated.
To think her poor cousin,
Who received a few dozen,
By her, had her bare back striated.

 

[twonines]

The Boss`s plans for Barb were quite bold,
But alas, they`ve begun to unfold.
Kidnapped by thugs,
Who`ve exposed her jugs,
Currently, her trail has gone cold.

 

[montycrusto]

At length they resorted to gagging
The hostage, who was bitching and nagging.
She continued to squirm
Like a wriggling worm,
On the floor of the van, without flagging.

 

[twonines]

The Boss, after Big Fred phoning,
The Ambassador`s whipping`s postponing.
Has he left it too late,
Given Barb`s fate,
In the rebel van moaning and groaning?

 

[montycrusto]

Barb’s down below, in a cell,
Chained, naked, blindfolded as well,
And most tightly gagged,
The rebels have bagged
A real wildcat who’ll fight like hell.

 

[montycrusto]

They’ll free their cute hostage for cash,
But first she’ll writhe under the lash,
They’ll film as she jolts
With electrical volts,
The movie’s a guaranteed smash.

 

[twonines]

The Providencia revolutionary faction
Kidnapped Barb to create a reaction.
When the video`s reviewed,
They`ll see the Ambassador nude,
And primed for electro and girl on girl action.

 

[twonines]

Now Barb has a different host,
She won`t stand at the whipping post.
But to a chair she is tied
To have her tits fried,
The chance to escape? There isn`t a ghost.