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Medieval Horrors
- Thread starter jonesygirl
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M
montycrusto
Guest
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
Is Tea Ready Yet?
Betty Heritage is on the right talking to Polly Jackson, her young neighbour. Betty’s daughter, Margaret is at the back.
Margaret: “MUM!!...Is tea ready yet? Is it witch roast again?”
Betty: “Tha’s only jus ‘ad breakfast yer lazy little trollop.”
Margaret: “I’m starvin! Ow long will it be ?”
Betty: “She’s onny jus finished twitchin’..another three hours ah reckon. ‘Onestly girl does tha think ‘bout nothin but eatin’ ‘n sleepin’ “
Margaret: “My stomach’s rumblin’”
Betty: “Well nip ‘oer t’Hanged Witch an’ get thissen a packet o’ witch scratchins an’ two moor pints for me an’ Polly. Yer dad’ll pay.”
Betty Heritage is on the right talking to Polly Jackson, her young neighbour. Betty’s daughter, Margaret is at the back.
Margaret: “MUM!!...Is tea ready yet? Is it witch roast again?”
Betty: “Tha’s only jus ‘ad breakfast yer lazy little trollop.”
Margaret: “I’m starvin! Ow long will it be ?”
Betty: “She’s onny jus finished twitchin’..another three hours ah reckon. ‘Onestly girl does tha think ‘bout nothin but eatin’ ‘n sleepin’ “
Margaret: “My stomach’s rumblin’”
Betty: “Well nip ‘oer t’Hanged Witch an’ get thissen a packet o’ witch scratchins an’ two moor pints for me an’ Polly. Yer dad’ll pay.”
Love the dialogue. And the pic.
M
montycrusto
Guest
Great dialogue, sounds like the “Albert and Lil” bit of T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland
And the collage is to your usual high standard!
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
Never read any work by either. Only know their names (T.S. Eliot and Ezra Pound) from a pop song but you got me intrigued so I looked up The Wasteland and came across this section..Great dialogue, sounds like the “Albert and Lil” bit of T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland
And the collage is to your usual high standard!
IV. Death by Water
Phlebas the Phoenician, a fortnight dead,
Forgot the cry of gulls, and the deep sea swell
And the profit and loss.
A current under sea
Picked his bones in whispers. As he rose and fell
He passed the stages of his age and youth
Entering the whirlpool.
Gentile or Jew
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,
Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.
Very odd!
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montycrusto
Guest
I believe this is where @phlebas got his nom-de-crux. Probably via Iain M. Banks, who used both “Consider Phlebas” and “Look To Windward” as book titles in his classic sci-fi series known as “The Culture Novels”.
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T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
Now now I'm looking up those Culture Novels...I believe this is where @phlebas got his nom-de-crux. Probably via Iain M. Banks, who used both “Consider Phlebas” and “Look To Windward” as book titles in his classic sci-fi series known as “The Culture Novels”.
What are the Culture novels
The Culture novels are a series of science fiction novels written by Iain Banks (under the notably transparent pseudonym ‘Iain M. Banks’) and published between 1987 and 2012. They are entries in a particular subgenre of science fiction called “space opera,” which typically involves lots of space travel, extravagant plots, exotic planets, baroque aliens and mind-bogglingly enormous constructs. Banks’s books had all of these elements and more, combined with a keenly ironic sensibility.
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montycrusto
Guest
Yes, his robots (known as “Drones”) are hyperintelligent, creative, witty and sarcastic. Reminds me of someone..
I always recommend “The Player of Games” to would-be first-time readers, although it wasn’t the first one published.
Anyway.. we’re going off topic.. although Medieval horrors are not completely absent from Banks’s books!
I believe this is where @phlebas got his nom-de-crux. Probably via Iain M. Banks, who used both “Consider Phlebas” and “Look To Windward” as book titles in his classic sci-fi series known as “The Culture Novels”.
That is exactly right, Monty. I admire both Eliot and Banks, and as I've told here before several times
When I first ventured into the world of online crux twenty something years ago I had the novel Consider Phlebas sitting above my desk, so when I was looking for a username . . . . . . little did I think I'd still be using it all these years later. it reflects my interest in both those writers.
https://www.cruxforums.com/xf/threads/member-birthdays.5321/post-630135
Banks Culture novels are classics, well worth a read. Look up his ship names, always good for a smile.
It's just 100 years since The Waste Land appeared in print. Phlebas the Phoenician is looking more and more like Jollyrei
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montycrusto
Guest
A Phoenician named Phlebas forgot
About birds and his business--the lot,
Which is no surprise,
Since he'd met his demise
And been left in the ocean to rot.
(Wendy Cope)
It seems she captured the whole work in 5 stanzas
https://thebestamericanpoetry.typep...-waste-land-five-limericks-by-wendy-cope.html
M
montycrusto
Guest
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
Dydd Santes Dwynwen Hapus (Hosted externally)
Well the famine is still raging even here in Ysbyty Ystwyth (That’s Uss-butty Uss-bith for English speakers). We are approximately 13 miles south of Aberyswyth on a rather cold Jan 25th a long time ago. The weather did not stop the locals from celebrating the feast of Santes Dwynwen (Saint Donwen).
When Donwen was younger she fell in love with a bloke called Maelon but sadly things did not work out for her so she prayed that she could fall out of love with him. The angels were not on strike that day so she received a magic potion that turned poor Maelon into ice! Dohh!! Fortunately God granted her three wishes and she chose to have Maelon unfrozen and also that God help all true lovers and finally as a sign of repentance, that she never marry. She later became a hermit. The Welsh always were a bit odd like that.
On the left we see Llar Meredith chatting with Rhian Pritchard. Both ladies have brought leeks to a witch BBQ organised by Owain Glyndwr on the far right.
Llar: “Ri-an, how’s it go-o-en? And dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you.”
Rihan: “ Dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you to Llar. I see youz bring leeks with you jus like me!.”
Llar: “We-e-ll now, our great minds do think alike then don’t they now. I do like to ave some leek with my roasted witch I do.”
Many years later…
Dai is at the car boot sale when an American tourist comes by. Pointing to a skull on display in Dai's car, he says: “Whose skull is that?”
“That,” says Dai profoundly, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr. It's yours for £10.” “Incredible,” says the American. “I'll take it.”Some weeks later, Dai is at the car boot sale when the same American walks past and notices a much smaller skull for sale.“Whose skull it that?” asks the American.“That,” says Dai in a practised voice, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr.”“Hang on,” says the American. “You sold me the skull of Owain Glyndwr a few weeks ago.”“Aye,” says Dai. “This is when he was a boy.”
Well the famine is still raging even here in Ysbyty Ystwyth (That’s Uss-butty Uss-bith for English speakers). We are approximately 13 miles south of Aberyswyth on a rather cold Jan 25th a long time ago. The weather did not stop the locals from celebrating the feast of Santes Dwynwen (Saint Donwen).
When Donwen was younger she fell in love with a bloke called Maelon but sadly things did not work out for her so she prayed that she could fall out of love with him. The angels were not on strike that day so she received a magic potion that turned poor Maelon into ice! Dohh!! Fortunately God granted her three wishes and she chose to have Maelon unfrozen and also that God help all true lovers and finally as a sign of repentance, that she never marry. She later became a hermit. The Welsh always were a bit odd like that.
On the left we see Llar Meredith chatting with Rhian Pritchard. Both ladies have brought leeks to a witch BBQ organised by Owain Glyndwr on the far right.
Llar: “Ri-an, how’s it go-o-en? And dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you.”
Rihan: “ Dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you to Llar. I see youz bring leeks with you jus like me!.”
Llar: “We-e-ll now, our great minds do think alike then don’t they now. I do like to ave some leek with my roasted witch I do.”
Many years later…
Dai is at the car boot sale when an American tourist comes by. Pointing to a skull on display in Dai's car, he says: “Whose skull is that?”
“That,” says Dai profoundly, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr. It's yours for £10.” “Incredible,” says the American. “I'll take it.”Some weeks later, Dai is at the car boot sale when the same American walks past and notices a much smaller skull for sale.“Whose skull it that?” asks the American.“That,” says Dai in a practised voice, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr.”“Hang on,” says the American. “You sold me the skull of Owain Glyndwr a few weeks ago.”“Aye,” says Dai. “This is when he was a boy.”
old slave
FELIS RESPICIENS
Well done Melissa, very topical, the story of Santes Dwynwen was featured on BBC Radio 4, the first I knew of her.Dydd Santes Dwynwen Hapus (Hosted externally)
Well the famine is still raging even here in Ysbyty Ystwyth (That’s Uss-butty Uss-bith for English speakers). We are approximately 13 miles south of Aberyswyth on a rather cold Jan 25th a long time ago. The weather did not stop the locals from celebrating the feast of Santes Dwynwen (Saint Donwen).View attachment 1270838 When Donwen was younger she fell in love with a bloke called Maelon but sadly things did not work out for her so she prayed that she could fall out of love with him. The angels were not on strike that day so she received a magic potion that turned poor Maelon into ice! Dohh!! Fortunately God granted her three wishes and she chose to have Maelon unfrozen and also that God help all true lovers and finally as a sign of repentance, that she never marry. She later became a hermit. The Welsh always were a bit odd like that.
On the left we see Llar Meredith chatting with Rhian Pritchard. Both ladies have brought leeks to a witch BBQ organised by Owain Glyndwr on the far right.
Llar: “Ri-an, how’s it go-o-en? And dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you.”
Rihan: “ Dydd Santes Dwynwen hapus to you to Llar. I see youz bring leeks with you jus like me!.”
Llar: “We-e-ll now, our great minds do think alike then don’t they now. I do like to ave some leek with my roasted witch I do.”
Many years later…
Dai is at the car boot sale when an American tourist comes by. Pointing to a skull on display in Dai's car, he says: “Whose skull is that?”
“That,” says Dai profoundly, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr. It's yours for £10.” “Incredible,” says the American. “I'll take it.”Some weeks later, Dai is at the car boot sale when the same American walks past and notices a much smaller skull for sale.“Whose skull it that?” asks the American.“That,” says Dai in a practised voice, “is the skull of Owain Glyndwr.”“Hang on,” says the American. “You sold me the skull of Owain Glyndwr a few weeks ago.”“Aye,” says Dai. “This is when he was a boy.”
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montycrusto
Guest
Saint Dwynwen’s church today. A little draughty… nothing a good burning-at-the-stake can’t fix! If you can find any firewood, that is!
Thank you for the story @melissa and the delightful art too. I believe Dwynwen’s toy-boy was called Maelon Daffodrill.. if that’s not a porn-star name, I don’t know what is!
mare24
Magistrate
Nice
I agree
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
Radio 4? There's some very upmarket folk on CF these days. Apparently Dwynwen was the daughter of King Brychan Brycheiniog who had 24 daughters and she was the prettiest. But, who'd want to wait for the bathroom with 23 sisters in the castle? I'm not surprised she became a nun.
T
The Fallen Angel
Guest
It is still the custom in Wales on Jan 25th to have a party or go to the local and read aloud your poetry. So where is @montycrusto limerick to honour Donwen?View attachment 1271049
Saint Dwynwen’s church today. A little draughty… nothing a good burning-at-the-stake can’t fix! If you can find any firewood, that is!
Thank you for the story @melissa and the delightful art too. I believe Dwynwen’s toy-boy was called Maelon Daffodrill.. if that’s not a porn-star name, I don’t know what is!