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Now This Just Isn't Funny

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Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill
Although I'm a golfer, I respect this lady's ingenuity.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her.
One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
“Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?”

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course.
A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden.
It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?" So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!'

“Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?”

“Not everybody pays.”
 

Praefectus Praetorio

Brother of the Quill

Heineudo

Executioner
One of the few advantages of living totally alone.


More signs that people are unable to think for themselves:

First it was the plastic cleaner bags, now -
View attachment 884917
As if "Caution: Undertow" signs aren't enough
View attachment 884918
Great I have to laugh. It's like there's a big red button somewhere and a sign saying "Danger, never press. What do you think will happen if you let 20 people in there?
 

sympazero2

Cruciformae Studiosus
To be fair

Arkansas gets a bad press...
(it is said Arkansas exists only
to give Alabama room to feel superior)
...but they're not all that bad...
Granted, we all know the definition
of Arkansas Foreplay:
"Hey, Sis, you awake?"
But did you know they invented the toothbrush?
Yes, they did! How do we know?
Because if it had been invented anywhere else,
they'd have called it a teethbrush.


===============
 

Eulalia

Poet Laureate
Staff member
"Homosexuality? Who’s responsible for this barbarity?
I mean to say the very word is half-Greek and half-Latin!
No good can possibly come of it!"

A.E.Houseman

“Of course the same could be said of Television.”
Sven Morgenstern
That comment about television was first made by the great C P Scott, editor of the Manchester Guardian - it must have been very soon after the invention was given its name, he died in 1931. (The wondrous internet says he died 1st Jan 1932, but I was going by the history of that once great newspaper) As for the homosexuality quote, it's from Tom Stoppard's play 'The Invention of Love' (again, thankyou internet), A E Housman wasn't in the least troubled by the unnatural coupling :devil:

One of the few advantages of living totally alone.
Another one is that you can spend all the time in the world on CruxForums! :D
 

sympazero2

Cruciformae Studiosus
That comment about television was first made by the great C P Scott, editor of the Manchester Guardian - it must have been very soon after the invention was given its name, he died in 1931. (The wondrous internet says he died 1st Jan 1932, but I was going by the history of that once great newspaper) As for the homosexuality quote, it's from Tom Stoppard's play 'The Invention of Love' (again, thankyou internet), A E Housman wasn't in the least troubled by the unnatural coupling :devil:


Another one is that you can spend all the time in the world on CruxForums! :D
I pondered doing a "Tom Stoppard/A E Houseman" attrib.
but I'm pretentious enough as it is these days.
Besides, my peregrination aboard CF depends heavily
on not even attempting to engage minds that could
render mine into a squashed cabbage leaf.

In other words if you want me, I'll be over in the
corner posting bare-nekked girls' naughty bits.
"It's a rotten job...."


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